'Looking for Alaska' (Book) by John Green - No Spoilers

Looking for Alaska by John Green

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Have I read anything else from this author? Yes, I've read The Fault in Our Stars and Paper Towns.

Was this book better than this author's other book(s)? I still think The Fault In Our Stars is the best of the three.

Was this book enjoyable? Parts of it were enjoyable and parts of it were very sad.

Did I learn anything new from this book? I learned about the last words of some famous people, since that's the interest of the main character, Miles "Pudge" Halter. (Exceptionally thin, Pudge has an ironic nickname.)

Where did I get this book? I bought this book from the Book Rack at 1930 E. Stop 13 Road, Greenwood, Indiana. I was under no obligation to review it.

Do I recommend this book to other readers? Yes, if they're not going to get too sad by the sad things that happen.

Here's a fun fact about this book: John Green got the name "Alaska" from the Velvet Underground song "Stephanie Says."

'Carry On' by Rainbow Rowell

This book discussion is not spoiler-free. If you haven’t read Fangirl and Carry On yet, I strongly recommend you read no further.

I bought my copy of Carry On by Rainbow Rowell on the day it was released: Tues. October 6th. I couldn’t wait to dig in and start reading the boy-boy love story. (I say “boy,” but understand I’m talking about 18-year-old adults.) I finished it a week later, on Monday the 12th. In a way, I still can’t believe I’ve finished it. Reading Carry On was an incredibly enjoyable experience. I’m not sure I can entirely explain why, but I’ll try.

Part of it was the extent to which I enjoyed Rowell’s 2013 book, Fangirl. Recall that I didn’t just LIKE Cath Avery, but also felt like I WAS Cath Avery. Because Cath loved Simon Snow and his vampire classmate Baz, I loved Simon Snow and his beloved/enemy Baz.

Another part of the puzzle is that Simon and Baz are based, in part, on Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy.  I’ve never personally been a Drarry shipper – I’m satisfied with J.K. Rowling’s choice of Ginny Weasley as Harry Potter’s lifemate. Even if Rowling herself sometimes wishes she’d made Harry and Hermione more than friends. Let’s face it: I’m a grown adult who wears Harry Potter socks and a golden snitch necklace and whenever I hear plumbing make a funny noise my first thought is still “Chamber of Secrets!” I consider myself a member of the Harry Potter fandom. I understand the fandom impulse.

And yes, it is exciting to read a mainstream novel in which the featured romantic subplot involves a same-sex couple. It IS important to me as an out bisexual woman to have non-heterosexual (I’d say queer, but I don’t want to use that word if it will offend some readers. I personally do not have a problem with “queer”), positive representation in the media. Especially in the traditional media.

Can you imagine if J.K. Rowling went back and wrote a book about Albus Dumbledore’s unrequited love for Gellert Grindelwald? It would be heartbreaking and poignant and I would love that so much, even while it was torturing my poor little heart.

But until we get Carry On, Albus, we have to settle for SnowBaz.

In my review of Fangirl, I wrote, “Let's talk about Simon Snow. I honestly would love it if someone wrote Carry On, Simon as Cath, because the little bits of fan fiction that we get in the novel are tasty. Cath left her magnum opus unfinished (and, may I just say, I think the ending of this novel is perfection and I wouldn't want it any other way), but I still want to know if she decided to kill Baz or to let Simon and Baz live happily ever after. We're somewhat left hanging in a Hazel Grace Lancaster-type fashion. This book is meta to begin with - fiction about a fiction writer writing fan fiction about fiction - would it just be too incredibly meta for someone to write Carry On, Simon?”

Rowell hasn’t written Carry On, Simon, but she’s written something even better. Carry On isn’t written as Cath Avery writing Simon Snow fan fiction, nor is it written as if it were the original novel Cath based her fan fiction on (written by the fictional Gemma T. Leslie). Instead it’s a Simon Snow novel written in Rowell’s own authorial voice. But I no longer feel disappointed or Peter Van Houtened by Fangirl. I’ve gotten my SnowBaz story – and (spoiler alert!) Baz doesn’t even die.

Of course, I would not be sad if Rowell somehow extended this to a 7- or 8-book series…I’m just sayin’.

Ultimately, Simon Snow owes his existence to J.K. Rowling and Harry Potter. Because Rowling’s world-building is so thorough, and we’re already assumed to be familiar with it, Simon Snow’s Watford School already seems like familiar territory – yet it is its own unique world. Further, Rowling and Rowell are brilliant writers, each in unique ways. As I’ve discussed in my reviews of the Robert Galbraith novels, Rowling is intimately familiar with all 400+ years of English-language literature, plus the Latin language, plus Classical mythology and a veritable buffet of multicultural world mythologies.  She’s wonderfully erudite and such a natural storyteller, she can write a children’s book filled with scholarly Classical references without either boring the reader or showing off.

I’m not implying that Rowell isn’t as brilliant or as educated as Rowling, but Rowell’s storytelling style is more inwardly oriented, more personal and intimate and less world-traveling. She writes with her tongue in her cheek, tossing in pop cultural references that might be not-so-subtly winking puns, meaningful allusions, or a combination of the two. In an early chapter, for example, Simon is nearly taken out by a taxi driver who turns out to be a goblin. In the mirror’s reflection he appears to have green skin and blood-red lips, but otherwise he’s “handsome as a pop star.” Any goblin who manages to kill Simon will become the goblin king. Wait a minute: goblin king, handsome as a pop star? Is she talking about David Bowie in the film Labyrinth, in which the pop star plays the Goblin King?

I have no doubt Rowell is making references to a wide variety of fantasy novels, films, and tropes throughout her novel. I half-suspect the surname Snow is a reference to Game of Thrones – Simon, like Jon Snow, was abandoned by his parents. Of course, it’s revealed in Carry On that Snow is his middle name. Maybe Simon officially has his mother Lucy’s last name. It’s unclear whether Davy (the Mage) and Lucy ever married – not that that would necessarily require her to change her name. I don’t recall the Mage’s last name ever being given.

Baz – short for Tyrannus Basilton – has his mother’s last name. His mother, Natasha Pitch-Grimm, was headmistress of Watford before The Mage. Baz’s father isn’t a bully like Lucius Malfoy; he’s more of a neglectful parent than an abusive one. He’s not happy that Baz is gay. Baz doesn’t identify much with his father, so he doesn’t use the Grimm last name. He’s chummy with his Grimm cousins, though.

Naming traditions are more conventional in the household of Simon’s best friend, Penelope Bunce. Penelope is a British girl with a British-ethnicity dad and an Indian-ethnicity mom. She has some of the traits of Ron Weasley (including ginger hair, in their first year at Watford) and some of the traits of Hermione Granger, yet she managers to be her own unique character. Her siblings, including brother Premal and sister Priya, have Indian personal names, but they all have the Bunce family name. Penelope is technically a name from Greek mythology, but it’s not that uncommon in the English-speaking world.

Rowell, of course, is from the United States. She’s writing English characters who speak U.K. English, and occasionally (to my North American ears) this rings a little false. For example, I’ve never heard a person from the U.K. or Ireland refer to a “bag of crisps.”* The familiar expression is “a packet of crisps” where we Americans would say “a bag of chips.” But U.K. readers will have to weigh in on that matter.

(I can say that E.L. James, writing in the voices of U.S. characters, uses an occasional phrase that rings very British. It works both ways – as if we can understand, but not quite reproduce, one another’s dialects.)

The witches and wizards of Simon’s world are a bit more modern than those in Harry’s, who seem a bit stuck in the 19th century in some of their customs. Simon doesn’t speak Latin. Heck, he barely speaks English. (His dad really did a number on him when he dumped Simon in that orphanage.) Rowell’s witches cast spells in English, using concentration and intent to turn common phrases into spells. Any phrase can become a spell, theoretically, but some have caught on and are common. Song titles and lyrics often work well, and nursery rhymes are said to be the most powerful spells of all.

Baz’s family – the Pitch side – is unusually gifted with fire magic. This is a shame, since Baz (made a vampire, not born a vampire) is more flammable than the average human, something his dad and aunt (a somewhat Bellatrix LeStrange-like character, but not quite as evil) consistently remind him of. Baz is aristocratic, worldly, handsome, charming, and completely in love with Simon since their fifth year of school.

Yet it’s Simon who initiates their first kiss, in a moment of despair when Baz seems on the verge of suicide by self-immolation. Simon hasn’t quite worked out his sexuality yet. He knows he’s attracted to Baz – Baz’s huge vampire fangs impress him. It’s unclear whether he’s sexually attracted to Agatha Wellbelove or simply socially attracted to her. It’s a question the author chose to leave open. It’s entirely possible Simon is bisexual or pansexual, though.

The first kiss is magickal. Please don’t judge me, but I may have done a slight dance shortly after reading it. I really do love SnowBaz as a couple.

Of course, the dramatic climax is a traumatic climax. Not Allegiant traumatic, but still…Simon loses a person and a thing, both very dear to him. The person, Ebb the goatherd, is sort of a combination of Rubeus Hagrid and Sybil Trelawney, in a very wonderful way. Her nickname is short for Ebeneza. She’s a very powerful magician but must sacrifice herself (which she does willingly) to save Agatha.

Agatha Wellbelove doesn’t closely resemble any of the characters in the Harry Potter series. Her family name is vaguely reminiscent of Luna Lovegood’s, but she’s not quirky like Luna. In fact, she’s quite the opposite: she’d rather be with her Normal friends (the equivalent of Muggles – apparently, magicians can hear the difference between Normal and normal) than at a magickal school. She has a slight crush on Baz – one that’s destined to be unrequited, obviously. But it is not a typical young adult novel love triangle, not at all. In fact, Agatha breaks off her relationship with Simon because she realizes they’re both only going through the motions.

Penelope – Penny – has an American boyfriend named Micah. I have a deep desire to watch a sitcom starring Mindy Kaling as an older Penny living in the U.S.A. with Micah and their kids. Seems unlikely to happen, though.

Penny’s roommate, Trixie the pixie (the ridiculous name is lampshaded by the characters), is also LGBTQ+. Her girlfriend is another female Watford student, and the fact that dorm rules do nothing to keep them from snogging and flinging pixie dust 24/7 annoys Penny to no end. Technically she isn’t allowed in Baz and Simon’s shared suite, but through some unknown method she circumvents this policy – a feat never attempted by policy-respecting Hermione Granger.

SnowBaz ends more happily-for-now than happily-ever-after. They both have such grave insecurities. But I’ll take it. It’s better than being stuck, not knowing whether Baz even survives the end of Cath’s fan fiction rendition of Gemma T. Leslie’s world. (It’s not even entirely clear that Baz CAN be killed.) I like knowing Rainbow Rowell’s take.

I purchased Carry On with my own funds and was obligated to review it in any way. But I really, really, really liked it.

See what I did there?

*Retracted. J.K. Rowling uses "bag of crisps" in one of the Cormoran Strike/Robin Ellacot novels.

'Paper Towns,' the Novel, Reviewed

Paper Towns by John Green

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The second line of the prologue contains a throwaway cancer joke that momentarily stopped my breath, but Quentin "Q" Jacobsen is no Augustus Waters, and Margo Roth Spiegelman is no Hazel Grace Lancaster. (Same number of syllables in her case, but there the similarity ends.) I mean that in a good way! The actor who plays Q in the movie version, Nat Wolff, is the same actor who played Isaac in The Fault in Our Stars. But never mind that - aside from their author, the two books have little in common.

While TFIOS is decidedly a love story, PT deals with the issue of how we represent other people in our minds. We all see other people through the lens of our personal experience with them. Q learns that each of Margo's friends has his or her own version of Margo and that there were many sides to her he hasn't considered.

The tool that allows Q to discover these facets of Margo is Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass. I love the idea that this novel may get younger readers excited about Walt Whitman's poetry. Some of it is quite remarkable. I've always admired Whitman's ability to make the reader feel connected to him as a human being, despite the fact that he died in 1892.

Also there is something about Moby Dick. Like Q, I did not read Herman Melville's dense symbolist tome. I understand Green is referencing Captain Ahab's white whale when Q's life is nearly ended by a pure-white cow, but I lack the ability to compare all the moments in this novel that may resonate with Melville's masterpiece. Once again, I'd like to express my gratitude to my 11th grade American Lit teacher, the late Mr. Tom Gerencher, for having us read ONLY Billy Budd and not Melville's longer, more famous work.

Classic American literature fuels this literary journey, with references to Emily Dickinson, Henry David Thoreau, Sylvia Plath, and Kurt Vonnegut (Green's fellow Hoosier, and mine) sprinkled in. As an American Lit nerd, I enjoy this very much. The greatest thing is that Green's American Lit references seem organic, not forced and/or pedantic. Q is a bit of a lit nerd, too. In that way, he does share similarity to the well-read Augustus. Possibly a bit of the creator sneaks into the creations.

I should really watch a few more Vlog Brothers videos. I really don't know that much about John Green as a person. I've only picked up a few of his thoughts and mannerisms from bits on Tumblr and Pinterest.

(Okay, that's John Green's younger brother Hank, but to be fair Hank IS the other Vlog Brother.)

Note, too, that Margo's last names each reference notable American authors - Philip Roth and Art Spiegelman. Both are noted for chronicling the lives of American Jews. Both Q and Margo are Jewish characters, but their ethnicity and/or religion (it's not clear that either the Roth Spiegelmans or the Jacobsens practice religious Judaism) don't make up a very important part of the novel. Therefore, I don't read too much into the characters being Israeli-Americans.

I really liked this book. Not quite 5 stars for me, but a solid 4.5. It didn't make me cry, unlike a certain other book I could name that made me cry, then drop it on the floor, then call it a stupid book for making me cry and drop it. An excerpt from that certain book appears in the end of my paperback. I reread the excerpt. Then I got emotional about Augustus Waters' fictional existence. John Green, quit playing games with my heart.

I purchased Paper Towns with my own funds from Forever Books in St. Joseph, Michigan. I was not obligated in any way to review it. This review represents my own honest opinion.

Dammit, J.R. Ward!

The Shadows by J.R. Ward

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

***SPOILERS*** I enjoyed reading this novel much more than I liked the previous volume in the series, The King. That said, I'm pretty disappointed in the ending. We, the readers of the Black Dagger Brotherhood series, had a deal with J.R. Ward. She would do her best to keep the main character and his lover apart as much as possible, up until the very end, and then - somehow, miraculously - all their obstacles would be removed and they'd end up together, forever.

This is the typical romance novel formula, and some of the fun of reading romance novels is the promise of a happily-ever-after. Well, J.R. Ward has busted our deal. Selena and Trez do not get to be together forever - through a bit of authorial sleight-of-hand, another pairing (one that we readers did not anticipate coming into this volume) instead gets that fate. Does it ruin the book for me? No, but I still think it's a little sneaky and underhanded on Ward's part. I suppose I should have guessed from Ward's John Green reference that she intended to go the The Fault in Our Stars route. Have the facial tissues ready.

The other thing that keeps this from being a 5-star BDB installment for me? Layla is still pregnant. Layla, y u no have your twins already? I know vampire pregnancies are supposed to last much longer than human pregnancies, but I'm tired of waiting for Layla and Xcor to get their own HEA. It better happen in The Beast - and none of this bait-and-switch nonsense, Ms. Ward.

A couple of small things I like: Vishous now has a tongue piercing. (H-O-T.) Also, Paradise hears Butch's Boston accent and thinks "Ben Affleck accent."

As for Paradise, it looks as though she will get her own adventure when Ward begins her BDB spinoff series in 2016. I'm actually looking forward to starting the new series. I like that Paradise is a daughter demanding to be treated with the same consideration that would be given to a son. I think her story will be a good one.

I Finally Saw the Divergent Series 'Insurgent' Film

Here there be spoilers.

The BF and I finally saw Insurgent, at the dollar theater, last night. I liked the movie more than I thought I would, and it reminded me of why I loved Veronica Roth's novel so much.

It starts out in the Amity compound. If I could choose to live in a fictional place - well, my first choice might be Howl's Moving Castle, but near the top of the list would be the Amity compound. I'd eat the bread. It wasn't really clear in the movie that the bread was spiked with feel-good chemicals, but it's obvious from the books. I don't even care, though. I'd happily put on the red clothes and push kids in swings all day, no worries.

But Tris, Four, and Caleb can't stay there, because the Jeanine-led Dauntless come looking for the Divergent. Jeanine is using Divergent people to unlock the box she found in the Prior home, which she believes will reinforce her power-hungry, evil schemes to control the city.

Creative Commons image by Andrea Raffin

It's so easy to hate Jeanine, but so hard to hate Kate Winslet. I have the same conflict with Ansel Elgort. How dare he be so attractive whilst Caleb commits his shocking and cowardly betrayal? Caleb's weasely reluctance to lift a finger to help his sister while she's being tortured and near-killed makes Tris's you-know-what in the third installment (which will be the fourth movie) all the more sad.

Creative Commons image by Mingle Media TV

Oh, my brave Tris. Shailene Woodley may not understand why it's important to be an outspoken feminist, but good goddesses, that gal can act. My brain knows she's the same actor who played Hazel Grace Lancaster, but my heart knows they're two completely, utterly different people - and that's a great tribute to Woodley's ability to inhabit a character and a fictional world. I'm not even going to pretend like I don't love her, because plainly I do. That fourth movie is going to shatter my heart like safety glass.

Creative Commons image by Georges Biard

Tris gets to be a bit sexy in her on-screen incarnation. The novel version of Insurgent would have you believe that Tris and Four's physical relationship is somewhat limited, because she fears emotional intimacy - understandable, given her personal traumas. The movie strongly implies that Tris and Four's bed-sharing isn't simply for comfort (he helps relieve her PTSD-induced nightmares). Maybe it's just because Woodley and Theo James have mad onscreen chemistry, but their relationship in the film seems very much hands-on.

Creative Commons image by Christopher William Adach from London, U.K.

Of course, I am grateful for every moment of screen time that Theo James is shirtless. Or talking. Like Jim Caviezel and Christian Bale before him, James is gifted with the Voice of Pure Sex. Side effect of a British actor speaking with an American accent? I don't know, but it works for me. I like his whole...everything. He's part Greek too, and you can tell his Mediterranean-ness by the fatness of his bottom lip, which I would very much like to bite.

The other actor whose performance is devastating in this movie is the lovely and talented Ms. Zoe Kravitz as Christina. Her face when Tris confesses she killed Will gave me heart pangs. I actually hope the third and fourth movies don't dwell on the budding relationship between Christina and Uriah, because we all know how that ends. But I do want a little epilogue with Christina and Four holding hands, in a friendship way, future relationship left up to the viewer's imagination. Personally I'm pro-Fourstina (it seems like a healthy part of the healing process), but it's okay if you're not.

Creative Commons image by Mingle Media TV

Other actors who play the faction leaders also give worthy performances, notably the lovely Olivia Spencer (Oscar-winning actress of The Help fame, presented her award by Oscar-winning Christian Bale) as Amity leader Johanna (I really liked the way they did her scars with makeup) and Daniel Dae Kim as Candor leader Jack Kang. Four's mom Evelyn, leader of the Factionless, was played by Naomi Watts. T. and I recently saw her in Birdman, or the Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance, a strange meta-fictional movie about actors performing a Raymond Carver short story ("What We Talk About When We Talk About Love") as a play. She's good, if a bit young-looking. It looks like Evelyn gave birth to Four when she was four. I wish their back story wasn't so bad.

The only thing I really didn't care for in this movie was the device that measures how divergent a person is, and what his or her or their faction is. I thought faction was a free choice? How can it be measured, even with a genetic scan? I mean, we do find out in Allegiant that the factions were part of a genetics experiment, but still...it seemed like a cheesy sci-fi movie thing.

I recall the book being an exciting page-turner with a cliffhanger ending (what's outside the fence?). The movie lived up to that. It was thrilling, twisty, and a tease for the next film. T. slow-clapped when Four shot Eric, and the other people in the theater laughed at that.

This is an affiliate link:

Hollywood Classics Title Index to All Movies Reviewed in Books 1 - 24 by John Howard Reid. $0.99 from Smashwords.com
Another essential book for a film buff's library, this one is packed with information and reviews. Some of the entries are quite extensive. JHR provides all the information you need, including complete cast and production staff. I find JHR's information invaluable. I like to read not only who acted in a movie, but who made it, both top-billed and lesser mortals. -- Ross Adams in DRESS CIRCLE mag.

I'm Not Sure How I Feel About 'Gone Girl' (Spoilers)

Please be aware that the following book post is not spoiler-free and that it mentions sensitive topics that some readers may find disturbing.

I resisted reading Gillian Flynn's bestselling thriller Gone Girl for a while now. My grandma read the e-book on her Nook and said it was "just okay." She's much more a thriller fan than I usually am, so I deferred to her opinion. Then Meagan at work brought her copy to the office and insisted I had to read it, so I read it dutifully.

It was much more interesting than I expected it to be. It did not go in the direction I expected it go - not at all. And no, I did not know any spoilers beforehand, even though I feel like I'm the last person on Earth to read this book.

I thought it was going to be a story about a man who killed his wife. After the first few chapters, I kind of liked the husband, Nick Dunne. He's a writer, a smart boy, the kind of fictional boy I usually end up attached to. Since I feared he'd turn out to be a killer, though, I asked people on Goodreads, "Is it okay if I like Nick?"

I got two answers: "Kind of" and "He's not as bad as he could be."

Nick does one REALLY bad thing, and that is cheat on his wife, Amy, with a 23-year-old student at the college where he's a part-time professor. That's a jackass thing to do, for sure. I don't judge people for being non-monogamous, but I do judge lying to and hiding things from your partner to be unacceptable behavior. Honest polyamory is good behavior, but cheating without a partner's knowledge and consent is bad behavior.

That said, Nick is not the villain of this novel. Although we don't really begin to suspect it until Nick discovers what's hiding in the woodshed, Amy is the real monster in the story. She lacks empathy utterly, is self-centered to a narcissistic degree, and brilliantly plots the destruction of anyone who stands in the way of what she wants.

Hence my mixed feelings about this novel. Amy is a psycho bitch. Isn't that what practically every guy says about his ex-girlfriend or ex-wife, though? Isn't that the refrain of misogynists everywhere: "Women - they're all crazy bitches?"

I'm not saying that Gillian Flynn is a misogynist. I don't think that at all. I think she wrote a fascinating "what if" story line centered on an interesting, complex, and problematic fictional character. I do think the novel might, inadvertently, reinforce societal stereotypes about female behavior.

One of the awful things Amy does in this novel is falsely accuse an ex-boyfriend of raping her. Being falsely accused of something as horrific as a sexual assault is a frightening prospect, and it's natural that we sympathize with any innocent person - in general, an innocent man, much more rarely an innocent woman - to whom this happens.

Realistically, though, false rape accusations are far, far less common than actual incidents of sexual violence. Society has an unfortunate tendency to blame the victim and defend the accused to a ridiculous degree. It has a lot to do with internalized misogyny and other outdated ideas that have long outlived their usefulness. As a result, too few rapists are prosecuted and victims too seldom get the support they need and deserve post-trauma. This is a societal trend that needs to die a quick death.

Therefore, let us not in any way support the myth that women are inherently self-interested and deceptive. Let us not support the myth that women in general tend to lie about sexual assault for our own gain. Instead, let us give all our support to spreading the idea that a culture of enthusiastic and freely given consent is a win-win for all human beings who engage in sexual and romantic behaviors.

I wanted to finish reading the story to see how it ended, but I didn't so much enjoy it as feel a deep and dreadful concern for the characters. Which is the mark of good writing, by the way - Gillian Flynn made me feel things, and I applaud her for it. I haven't been this wrapped up in a book since The Fault In Our Stars made me cry, then drop it, then call it a stupid book because it made me cry and drop it.

The ending is a hideous nightmare of spousal abuse, a husband being victimized, trapped, and held against his will by his wife. A weaponized pregnancy. Forced domestic bliss.

What's perhaps a little coincidental is that just yesterday I watched a movie called Karla on Netflix. It's an awful movie I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, ever. It's based on a true story, an exploitative "woman in jeopardy" movie about a Canadian couple who kidnapped, raped, and murdered several women. The title character, Karla, is played by Laura Prepon, whom I much prefer to see as Alex Vause on Orange Is the New Black.

The titles at the end of the movie mentioned that the real-life Karla is now out of prison, but still has limitations on her freedoms, as apparently is legal in Canada. The legal system felt she lacked remorse and that her actions couldn't entirely be blamed on her husband's influence and his well-documented, horrific spousal abuse. These titles were somewhat in opposition to the rest of the movie, which portrayed Karla as a scared and reluctant partner in the things her husband did.

The husband, Paul, was played by Misha Collins, my reason for choosing this disturbing film. I really hated seeing his as a serial rapist/sexual sadist who frequently backhanded his wife. I much prefer to think of sweet-faced Misha as a fictional character living in domestic bliss with a fictional Jensen Ackles. He looks too kind to be evil, but I guess that was some of the point of casting him in this Canadian catastrophe. Look, photogenic white people can be evil, too!

Karla was sort of a mixed message, but overall it seemed to tell the story of a man who was so evil and abusive, he twisted a young, impressionable woman by exploiting her sexually adventurous side. Gone Girl is almost the opposite. Nick, mostly-innocent husband victimized by his abusive father, falls into the trap of psychopathic, manipulative Amy, and he's forced to play her game...at least until she decides to kill him.

Male psychopath, female psychopath...one is no more palatable than the other. I didn't exactly "like" Gone Girl, but it certainly wasn't as boring as my grandmother made it sound. I'll have to watch the movie, which stars Ben Affleck as Nick Dunne. I don't have a particular fondness for Ben Affleck (Jennifer Lopez has said she was in love with him, but he broke up with her abruptly and broke her heart), so maybe I won't get very attached to movie-Nick. Maybe.

More Blogger Reviews of Gone Girl

Jenn @ Going the Distance

Shoshanah @ From L.A. to LA

Andrea @ Andrea's Adventures

Kristine @ Living Barefoot and Crazy

Lil @ Faster Than Forever

Victoria @ Mine to Live

Carly Ann @ Carly Chubby Cheeks

Spirit Bound: Vampire Academy #5 of 6 - Spoilers

SPOILER ALERT! Read no further unless you want to know what happens in the second-to-last book in Richelle Mead's Vampire Academy series.

Overall, I'm very happy with a couple of developments in this book, but what a cliffhanger ending! I didn't expect anyone to assassinate Queen Tatiana. Sure, she was a bit of a difficult woman, and she and Rose naturally clashed - Rose Hathaway isn't the most easygoing of heroines either - but I never anticipated that someone would kill her. Much less that Rose would be accused of the murder!

The book begins with awful, awful Strigoi!Dimitri renewing his vow to find Rose and kill her. Rose is still harboring the hope that she can invoke the magic that will turn Dimitri back into the Dhampir she knows and loves. In fact, she'll go to any length just for a chance to make it happen.

Even if it means traveling to Alaska to break Victor Dashkov out of Moroi prison.

It isn't enough for Rose and a small cohort of her trusted friends to break Victor out, though - they also have to travel with him to Las Vegas. There he meets his brother, who claims to have changed a Strigoi back to her living form. Rose and Lissa learn the secret: a Moroi must stake the evil, dead vampire with a silver stake charmed with the fifth element, spirit. Good thing Lissa is a spirit user.

...As is Rose's current sort-of-boyfriend, Adrian Ivashkov. One must have a bit of sympathy for the beautiful, clove cigarette-smoking Vampire Academy graduate, who gets treated rather shabbily in this installment. He loves Rose, but she can't get over the possibility of having Dimitri back. Rose and Adrian come close to having sex in this book, but due to the lack of a nearby condom, she offers him her blood to drink instead.

Evil Dimitri kidnaps Lissa, as well as Christian Ozera, in a bid to lure Rose to him. Bloody mayhem and murder ensue - but Lissa eventually manages to drive her charmed stake into Dimitri. The magic works. He goes from murderous undead fiend to Dhampir with a heartbeat again. The Moroi are skeptical at first, and keep him locked in a guarded cell until an explanation can be found.

He refuses to see Rose. She sneaks in to see him anyway. On her second visit to him, he tells her, "Love fades. Mine did." Shut up, Dimitri - you still love Rose. You're just trying to run her off because you're scared of hurting her. We know he still loves her because when the Queen's guard comes to arrest her for murder, he throws his all into trying to defend her - until she literally screams for him to stop, that she won't resist.

Rose didn't kill Tatiana - she was sleeping beside Adrian at the time, post-blood donation - but I don't know who did. I anxiously await the next book, Last Sacrifice.

A Bulgarian edition

Oh, and it appears Lissa and Christian are back together, or at least on their way to being. I hope they get married - but even if they don't, it seems she has a long-lost sibling and will no longer be the only Dragomir. Will Lissa become the next queen?

I purchased this book with my own funds at my brick-and-mortar Barnes and Noble and was not obligated in any way to review it.

P.S. I saw the trailer for The Fault in Our Stars during the Vampire Academy movie. Tit Elingtin and I finally watched TFIOS on DVD on Monday night. I am emotionally devastated - and impressed with the performances by Shailene Woodley, Ansel Elgort, and Nat Wolff all.

P.P.S. I can't believe my sweet Rose from the VA movie, Zoey Deutch, plays that awful Emily in Beautiful Creatures, now that I'm listening to the BC audio book. Emily in the book is a mean girl. Zoey, that doesn't sound like you! Rose is snarky, but not mean.

'This Star Won't Go Out,' The Inspirational True Story of the Late Esther Earl In Her Own Words

This Star Won't Go Out: The Life and Words of Esther Grace Earl by Esther Earl

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Esther Grace Earl was only 16 years old when she lost her battle with thyroid cancer in 2010. She never wanted to be anything other than a writer, and she was one her way to being a great one. Her parents, Wayne and Lori Earl, along with Esther's four siblings, friends, and the medical team who worked with her, created this book to preserve Esther's one-of-a-kind writings and drawings. Esther's kindness, compassion, thoughtfulness, and love shine through the words and images she left behind.

Not only did she love her family and friends deeply, but she also cared about doing something good for the world and helping people she never met. She had a strong faith in God that helped her get through the worst of her chemotherapy and the breathing problems she had related to her cancer.

Esther loved Harry Potter, Dr. Who, her cats Blueberry and Pancake, and John and Hank Green's Vlog Brothers videos, and she never forgot to be awesome. She was an amazing person, so it's a wonderful thing that her voice is still able to be shared with the world. The media have an unfortunate tendency to dismiss and belittle things that are geared toward teens, and especially teenage girls, and it can be hard for a teen girl's genuine voice to be heard - all the more reason to listen to Esther in her own words.

John Green was already working on The Fault In Our Stars when he met Esther. She served as an inspiration for the fictional Hazel Grace Lancaster - note they share a middle name - but Green was very careful to see Esther as a person, a friend, and not some kind of research project. He's a good human being like that.

Sometimes this book made me want to cry, but that's okay. It's okay to miss someone's presence from the world when that presence so clearly made the world a better place. It's too bad that we'll never know the answer to the riddle Esther wrote into the fantasy story she started, but what she did leave behind was a legacy of awesome.

I do wish she would've been able to finish her romantic comedy story, though. It had some really nice elements, even in its raw state. Shades of The Devil Wears Prada, but with a clear romance bent.

Please, if you know of any other books like this one - memories of a kid who left the world too soon - recommend them to me. I think a book like this is an ideal tribute to a creative young person who is, sadly, no longer with us. Their spirits live on in the art they left behind and the way they made other people feel.

I've also started following http://tswgo.tumblr.com/. It's the Tumblr page of the organization founded in Esther's name that helps the families of children with cancer. Great organization. Check it out.

I purchased This Star Won't Go Out with my own funds at a brick-and-mortar Barnes and Noble. I was not obligated to write this review in any way.

View all my reviews on Goodreads

Movie Review: Vampire Academy

An Odd Valentine's Day

Warning: the first part of this post is going to be a bit of a ramble. If you just want the straight movie review, skip down to Rose Is So Badass.

My Valentine's Day was an odd one. In the morning, Tit Elingtin and I went to a pancake house for a lovely Valentine's breakfast. I had a crepe stuffed with vanilla yogurt, fresh strawberries (they are shaped like hearts, after all), fresh blueberries, and granola. Yum!

Then, off to our day job, remodeling - I'm back to working as assistant remodeling since my steady editing contract ended - where we dug mud out of a semi-frozen hole. We're desperately trying to install a sump pump before the snow melts and floods the basement we're remodeling. So glamorous! I don't think I need to mention how badly I want another steady editing gig.

At 3:40, we hurried home so I could change my muddy jeans and boots. I hopped in my mom's nice, clean, warm car and we went to the movie theater. It was still early - we caught the 4:40 show - so most of the couples out on date night weren't yet there to see Endless Love, Labor Day, or Winter's Tale.

The Pre-Movie Show

We didn't quite have time to eat a salad at Panera like we originally planned, so we needed popcorn. I ordered a large Diet Coke and got a plastic Divergent cup, which I'm going to keep as a souvenir. We're about five weeks away from the Divergent movie premiere.

Before the actual movie trailers, one gets commercials. Today's commercials included a promo for the A&E television series Those Who Kill. One star of the series is James D'Arcy.





The lovely English actor has very striking bright blue eyes. He makes me sad, though, because I'll always think of him as Rufus Sixsmith from Cloud Atlas. Sixsmith/Frobisher tragic romance feels - activated.

I may have let slip a quiet "Squee!" during the trailer for the Veronica Mars movie. I loved that series, even though I only started it on DVD because I loved Enrico Colantoni so much on Person of Interest. But what's not to love? Veronica is smart, she's snarky, she can take care of herself, and she's played by Kristen Bell. (I'm still mad that Syler killed her on Heroes.) Unresolved Veronica/Logan feels - very much activated.

This was followed by the The Fault in Our Stars trailer. I already saw it on YouTube, but this was my first time seeing Hazel Grace and Augustus on the big screen. TFIOS tragic romance feels - way, way activated. I have a feeling I'm going to quietly sob my way through that entire movie.

Now for our feature presentation.

Rose Is So Badass

So: Vampire Academy. I did not read a single book in the series by Richelle Mead. Mead's website says there are six books in the original series and then a spinoff series. I only saw the trailer once on TV, so I knew very little about the movie going into it. Basically, we only saw this one because it had "vampire" in the title. I expected something like a vampire version of Hogwarts.

Which it sort of is, because the vampires do learn magic, although their magic is more elemental (earth/air/fire/water) than what Hogwarts teaches.

To sum up the story in a non-spoilery way for anyone else who hasn't read the books, I shall quote from Vampire Fun & Games: Trivia, Puzzles and Games That Don't Suck by H.W. Kondras:

"In this series, the main character is Rose Hathaway, a half-vampire who is training to be the bodyguard for her best friend, vampire princess Vasilisa Dragomir. There are two kinds of vampires in this series: Moroi, living vampires who can wield magic, and the Strigoi, undead who feed on the innocent to survive. Vasilisa (or Lissa) is the last of her family line and a princess of the Moroi. While learning how to defend her friend from the Strigoi, Rose falls in love with her instructor, Dimitri, at the Academy, and even in vampire circles, a teacher-student romance is frowned upon."

Lissa is a gentle soul, somewhat sad after her parents and brother Andre were killed in a car accident, very loving towards animals and her friends, and a little otherworldly. She's played by Lucy Fry. She's absolutely gorgeous, with an ethereal quality that reminds me of Amanda Seyfried or a young Michelle Pfeiffer.





I like Lissa, but I really like Rose. Rose is a badass who lives for protecting Lissa from the Strigoi - and sometimes from herself. She's not just a bodyguard; she's the best friend any woman would love to have. She has strong opinions, a snarky personality, and killer fighting moves, and although she's a Dhampir - human mom, vampire dad - she's more Buffy Summers than Bella Swan.





Rose is played by Zoey Deutch. She played Emily in Beautiful Creatures.

Boys, Boys, Boys

Now let's talk about the love interests, Christian and Dmitri. Christian Ozera is something of an outcast at the vampire academy, the formal name of which is Saint Vladimir's. (St. Vladimir was one of the moroi.) His parents chose to become Strigoi and had to be killed. Tainted with a whiff of evil, Christian is generally assumed to be on the same path as his parents, liable to go bad at any time. However, when he and Lissa find themselves alone together, the flirting begins almost immediately. At first Lissa doesn't return Christian's affection, and Rose tries to scare him away, but Lissa comes to bond with the man in black.





Christian is played by English actor Dominic Sherwood. He looks like the illegitimate child of Robert Pattinson and Jonathan Rhys Meyers. Yum.

Dimitri Belikov's introduction to Rose involves deflecting her attack by violently throwing her to the pavement. It's a thing that they have: she's always trying to attack him when he's least expecting it. But he's just doing his job, trying to protect the princess, and teaching Rose to do the same. The tattoos on the back of his neck indicate Dimitri has killed six Strigoi. His badass level is through the roof, so it's no wonder why Rose would dig him. He's her teacher, though, and he's eight years older than her - she's 17 - so their relationship can't go beyond flirtation on her end, at least until after she turns 18 and graduates.

In one scene, Rose and Dimitri fall under the spell of an enchanted necklace. She bursts into his room, where he's reading on the bed. They kiss passionately. He rips off her dress and throws it into the fireplace, then pounces on her. Before they can go too far, though, he takes the necklace off her, and the spell is broken. A small part of me thought, "Yes! Do the thing!" But most of my brain thought, "This is highly inappropriate!" I do want Dimitri and Rose to be together, but only AFTER she turns 18 and graduates.





Dimitri is played by Danila Kozlovsky, a Russian actor. He is absolutely gorgeous in the long black wig, and with his pale skin and dark hair, he looks a bit like Bill Compton from first-season True Blood. Yum.

Cruelty to Animals

I must warn you if you go to see this film, there is some cruelty to animals. It's not on-screen, but in two instances, dead animals are shown. One is a fox, and the other one is Lissa's pet cat. This did not sit well with me at all. If you're very sensitive to violence against animals in films, you may want to skip this one.

If you hurt my cat, I will jam a silver stake through you heart, whether you're a Strigoi or not.

Gabriel Byrne Is Still My Sweet, Sweet Baby

In this movie, Gabriel Byrne plays Victor Dashkov, a friend of the Dragomir family and member of one of the other twelve Moroi royal families. The twelve families take turns ruling; the queen at the moment is named Tatiana, and she's kind of a jerk. At first Victor seems like a sweet old guy suffering from some vampire disease, and the dad of Lissa and Rose's classmate Natalie. (Natalie is played by Sarah Hyland, best known on U.S. TV as Haley Dunphy on Modern Family.)





Naturally, he has a hidden agenda. I won't spoil it, but I will say that although his character in Vampire Academy turns out not to be a good guy, Gabriel Byrne is still my sweet, sweet baby. You can read more about my Gabriel Byrne fetish in "The Older Dudes I'd Most Like to See Lewd."

Overall Impression

Overall, I liked this movie. In some ways it was a rather predictable high school comedy/drama with vampire mythology tacked on, so I'm under no illusions that it's one of the greatest films ever produced. For what it was, though, it was fun. It made good on its promise, at least for someone like me who hadn't read the book. The young women who sat in the row in front of us in the theater did say a lot from the books was left out, but that's to be expected from a book-to-film adaptation. As I always say, a movie is a snack, but a book is a buffet.

Plus, the movie had a nice anti-bullying, anti-slut shaming (sexuality shaming, if you prefer) message.

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Shift by Madison Dunn. $8.99 from Smashwords.com
I'm not sure why it happens, but when I focus just right, I can slow time. Things around me become lighter somehow, and I almost feel the tiny particles of energy spinning inside of them. The thing is, having the ability to transform the world around you isn't all it's cracked up to be -- especially when you are running from the Valencia without any deodorant.

Marry the Man With One Leg

In fiction, examples of great men missing all or part of one leg abound. From this, we learn that if you meet a man with one leg, you should marry him. Cases in point:

- Peeta Mellark. If you only know The Hunger Games through the movies, you might not know that as a result of his injuries, Peeta had to have a leg amputated near the end of the first book in the trilogy. Therefore, he competed in the Quarter Quell - and all the subsequent events - with a prosthesis. Although renowned for his baking skills, Peeta is no slouch when it comes to survival, both physical and mental. No wonder Katniss chooses him over Gale Hemsworth Hawthorn.

- Dan Evans. I haven't actually read Elmore Leonard's original short story, so I base this off Christian Bale's portrayal of Dan in the 2007 movie 3:10 to Yuma. Dan lost a leg in the Civil War. He then moved west, to the hot, dry climate of Arizona, with his wife and two sons because the younger son has tuberculosis. Before antibiotics (which came into common use right around the time of World War II), one of the few treatments they had for tuberculosis was a hot, dry climate. Dan's sole motivation in this film is earning enough money to keep from losing his property so that his child has a chance to live a little longer. Back then, everybody who got tuberculosis eventually died from it. A dad who'll put his own life in terrible danger to give his terminally ill child a few more years to live? That's a character whose character I can appreciate.

Sidebar: Most of what I know about tuberculosis, I learned from reading Invincible Microbe: Tuberculosis and the Never-Ending Search for a Cure by Jim Murphy.

- Augustus Waters. Gus - he's the teenage guy you'd actually want your teenage daughter to date. He's smart, well-read, romantic, funny, witty as can be, and in remission after the bout of bone cancer that cost him one of his legs. Gus is the actual perfect boyfriend. When he meets Hazel Grace Lancaster in their cancer support group, he knows their time together isn't likely to be very long, but he loves her perfectly in the time they have. Just don't read John Green's The Fault in Our Stars unless you're prepared to cry, then drop the book because you're crying, then call it a stupid book because it made you cry and drop it.

- Noah Langford. Noah is another war veteran, this time in Barbara Longley's contemporary romance novel series Perfect, Indiana. Noah is the hero of the first book, Far From Perfect. Noah slowly falls in love with Ceejay, but she is a very stubborn woman, and Noah is a very stubborn man, so their path is not entirely a smooth one. But they do manage to spend a night together, and when Ceejay discovers she's pregnant, it soon becomes evident that Noah's default setting is "amazing dad." Naturally, they live happily ever after. It is a romance novel, after all.

Far From Perfect made me cry, too, not because of Noah and Ceejay's rocky road to love, but because of the late-life romance between two of the secondary characters.

In real life, there's Alex Minsky. My dear goodness, is this one-legged man made out of gorgeous. Alex is a real-life war veteran and a U.S. Marine who lost the lower half of his right leg and wears a prosthesis - wears it so well, he's become a model.



Photographer Michael Stokes' nudes of Alex were famously banned for "obscenity" by Facebook, but sister, ain't nothing obscene about Alex's body.



So, when you find yourself a one-legged man, I suggest you marry him.

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#BookReview 'Allegiant' by Veronica Roth (Spoilers)

Happy Halloween! You can find my Divergent review here and my Insurgent review here. If you haven't read Allegiant yet, do not proceed, or you will be spoiled.

Perhaps you would rather go to Publishers Weekly and read about how Allegiant sold 455,000 copies when it was released on October 22nd. It also mentions that the Divergent movie is set for release on March 21, 2014. That article contains no spoilers.

This review contains all the spoilers. I finished reading Allegiant on Tuesday, October 29th. It took me a week to read it, partly because I was finishing Fangirl and partly because I didn't want this series to end. Now I'm sad because it's over.

And because Tris is dead. Happy-ever-after for Tris and Four? Nope. Her noble self-sacrifice saved the city of Chicago, but doomed this YA couple to a sad and painful ending. So now you know why this is my Halloween post: it's about death.

Now that you've been warned of spoilers, I'm going to address some of the points I mentioned on Book Club Friday:

- As many tears as when I read the ending of the His Dark Materials trilogy, The Amber Spyglass, and the young lovers Will and Lyra can never be together? No, not as many. I only cried three times, and they were the squeal-y, The Fault in Our Stars tears that made my throat hurt.

What Tris did was very loving, but I'm so sad for Tobias (whose torment is described in agonizing detail).

- I'm still not crazy about Caleb, although Tris loved and forgave him, which made it a little bit better.

- Christina: this poor woman has lost so many good friends. First it was Will, who - let's face it - was probably the first person she ever fell in love with. Then, just as she's starting to get friendly with Uriah, he gets critically injured, never wakes up from his coma, and dies. Then she loses Tris.

Can we all just accept this headcanon right now: that at some point in the future, Tobias and Christina become more than just friends? I think I could be more okay with Tris' death if I knew Tobias would, eventually, love again. And only good things should happen to Christina from now on (she's suffered enough), and Tobias is pretty much a perfect boyfriend (a little angry at times, but under very understandable circumstances...) - so, can they please get together?

- I'm still not happy that Tori Wu is dead. I watched the first two seasons of Nikita, and Maggie Q is basically a flawless goddess and the living embodiment of Dauntless. When I see her playing Tori in the movie, I'm just going to get all choked up again because now we know that Tori will die and her brother will be sad.

Maggie Q - Creative Commons license

Don't get me wrong - I loved this book. I loved this entire series. It's so action-packed, and Tris and Four were just so sweet together (while it lasted), and I loved the character development. I'm not one of those people who are upset with Veronica Roth because the series didn't end exactly how they wanted it to, with Tris and Four getting married and having kids like Katniss and Peeta did. I think Veronica Roth did right by her own characters - not that my opinion is what counts. Sometimes Cath kills Baz, and sometimes she lets him and Simon live happily ever after.

But the sadness, though.

But I'm still really glad I read it. It was a hell of a journey.

P.S. Goodreads is counting Allegiant as the 60th book I've read this year, which completes my book challenge for 2013. It's kind of a cheat, a little bit, because some of those "books" are short stories, and I counted Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter as "read" even though I never finished it. (After the first third, I'd had enough. It just wasn't the book for me. No judgment on its quality, only on my reaction to it.)

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What did you think of Allegiant?

#BookReview Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

Paradoxically, the more I like a book, the less I can think to say about it. There are books I love to pieces - The Book Thief, The Fault in Our Stars, The Amber Spyglass, and Shanghai Girls, to name a few - but haven't reviewed on this blog, because "this book oh my god askjdhfbjdkalldhjasjkhchsklslla;" is not a legitimate book review. Sometimes I can't seem to get around the cartoon hearts that replace the pupils in my eyes when I love a truly great book.

Hence, what I wrote about Rainbow Rowell's Fangirl when I finished it Friday night was short.

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Some books make you feel like you want to climb inside and live in their worlds - this book made me feel like I'd already lived in this world. Except for the absent mother and the twin, I am the Cather in so many ways. I relate to so much of what she says, does, and thinks. The familiarity is some of the fun of this novel, but the real attraction is Rowell's writing style, which is funny, intimate and clear and contains just the right amount of snark to be charming and clever but not too clever for its own good. I haven't read either of Rowell's previous novels [Attachments and Eleanor & Park], but based on the strength of this effort alone, I think I can call myself a fan.

FYI, this is a must-read for all Potterheads.

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Let's talk about Levi. Perfect book boyfriend? For Cath, yes, he is - even though he kissed the blonde girl in his kitchen. (The way the two of them deal with this event, which occurred before they were dating, I feel is very realistic.) He loves her fan fiction, he brings her coffee, he's gentle and funny, and just sigh. Again, I think Rowell has written very realistically of first love. It's a feeling I quite enjoy revisiting, which is why I love Twilight so much. So I am pro-Levi.

(That's right, I love Twilight. I reserve the right to love things that aren't perfect - deal with it.)

Let's talk about Simon Snow. I honestly would love it if someone wrote Carry On, Simon as Cath, because the little bits of fan fiction that we get in the novel are tasty. Cath left her magnum opus unfinished (and, may I just say, I think the ending of this novel is perfection and I wouldn't want it any other way), but I still want to know if she decided to kill Baz or to let Simon and Baz live happily ever after. We're somewhat left hanging in a Hazel Grace Lancaster-type fashion.

This book is meta to begin with - fiction about a fiction writer writing fan fiction about fiction - would it just be too incredibly meta for someone to write Carry On, Simon?

FYI, Canadian writer Brian Jones writes Carry On, Cath on Wattpad - fan fiction about a fan fiction writer. Too meta? I don't know, but I like it.

Let's talk about how Simon and Baz use the names of magicians when they swear. So cute! They swear on Aleister Crowley and Doug Henning. (Although I contend the world's best Doug Henning joke is on The Simpsons when Cregg Demon, Magicfreek! says he's going to go back to Canada and run for Parliament.)

I'm not sure that Aleister Crowley is anyone you'd really want to look up to, but I still think it's adorable to have fictional magicians within a fictional narrative swearing on the names of real-life magicians (one of the stage, one of actual magical practice, although I'm sure Crowley did his fair share of showmanship as well. He seemed to have enjoyed shocking people, and I also think it is in this anarchic, anti-authoritarian spirit that the Beatles placed Crowley on the Sgt. Pepper's cover).

What else can I say about Fangirl? I think it's an instant classic, and it's definitely one of my new favorites.

'This Star Won't Go Out' Teaser

On Thursday, Publishers Weekly sent me an e-mail with the subject line "John Green and Esther Earl: Lives Connected by Words." It's a teaser for the book This Star Won't Go Out: The Life and Work of Esther Grace Earl, with additional writing by Esther's parents Lori and Wayne Earl and an introduction by John Green.

Esther, diagnosed with thyroid cancer when she was only 12, passed away from the disease at the age of 16 in 2010. She's the real-life inspiration for Hazel Grace in John Green's The Fault in Our Stars.

The title is a play on Esther's name, which is the Persian word for "star." She was named after the Biblical Queen Esther.

The e-mail took me to a page of Scribd (the website for uploading and reading e-books, many of them free) with a sample of the book to download. I can't share the link because the link won't work for anyone else's computer. The sample is only 11 pages long. It contains:

- Childhood photos of Esther from 2000 and 2003, showing her bright blue eyes

- Lori and Wayne's introduction, writing about who Esther was as an individual and some of her diary-keeping habits. They write, "She loved words, felt their power and believed in the magic of story."

-A photo of Esther reading a Judy Blume book in 2009, and another of her using a laptop inside Boston's Children's Hospital after she became ill

-Esther's drawing of colorful flowers on a black stalk, underneath a blue sun

-A facsimile of a note written in Esther's own handwriting, to her parents on their anniversary. It reads, in part:

"Parents, I love you two. So much. I am so lucky to have such amazing people raising me. Because...really, I wouldn't be who I am today if not for the love and care of you two. Please realize that you  are amazing. I thank God that He blessed us with two such loving people.

"Cancer is hard. I wouldn't have made it this far if it weren't for my family. Thank you, very much, for being here for me. It makes it seem less hard."

I'm very excited for this book. I want to get to know this young aspiring writer who lost her life too soon. I want to read her words and understand her life from her point of view. I never made a blog post with my review of TFIOS, and part of that was because I was so shocked by how good the book was, I couldn't articulate anything other than, "This is really, really, really good and you should just read it right now." That Esther Grace inspired the goodness is the very reason I want to read her very own words. I want my life to be connected to hers by words.

It might break my heart - TFIOS sure did. I cried, and then I dropped the book, and then I called it a stupid book because it made me cry and drop it. But when that happens, you know a piece of literature has seeped into your heart because it deserved to. Heartbreak or no, I must read TSWGO. Esther Grace Earl didn't have a long life on earth, so now she'll live in readers' hearts.

This Star Won't Go Out is available for pre-order on Barnes and Noble and Amazon now, and will officially be published on January 28, 2014.

Another book release I am eagerly awaiting:

...and, of course, Allegiant by Veronica Roth (October 22, 2013). The same actress, Shailene Woodley, will play both Hazel Grace and Tris Prior at the movies. If you follow John Green on Tumblr, you'll see he is currently fangirling over the filming of his book. 

P.S. You can add John Green and his brother/fellow writer Hank Green to the list of cool people from Indiana.