Behind the Door: The Dark Truths and Untold Stories of the Cecil Hotel

Told by the hotel's former general manager who appeared in the 4-part Netflix documentary (The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel) that centered on the case of Elissa Lam, this 1st person account gives context and humanity to the hotel's wild reputation. 

Amy Price seems like a decent woman and apparently she's a creative and talented interior designer and jeweler. I still feel terrible for Elissa Lam's family. So does Amy Price. 

I hope she doesn't stop at writing just this one book because she seems like she has an aptitude for storytelling.

I borrowed this book from the Indianapolis public library through the Libby app. I was not obligated in any way to review this library book.

Link: https://amzn.to/3QOMIFY

Book Review: 'Little, Crazy Children' by James Renner

As an adult, one of the hardest things for my mind to process is the premature loss of a young person who showed so much promise and talent in their short life. The What Might Have Been is haunting. For this reason, the case James Renner presents in this title is compelling. The murdered young woman had an obviously active, creative, insightful mind, and her senseless killing is irreconcilable with any form of the way things are supposed to be in an ideal world. I'm terrible sorry for the loss her family and friends still feel. Renner appears to feel this terrible lack as well.

Of course a well-written crime story should focus on the victim, and this one does. One thing I found so utterly compelling about Renner's previous book, True Crime Addict, was the way the author was also a character in the story, to the extent that it was virtually a covert memoir. Little, Crazy Children is not autobiographical to that extent.

The author does show up as a presence in the latter chapters, as he proposes an alternative explanation for the senseless crime that law enforcement doesn't seem to have considered in any depth or breadth. As in True Crime Addict, he makes a compelling case. 

For me as a reader, having read True Crime Addict earlier this year, this book took me a little more effort to get into, largely because it's structured with the evidence of the case and witness testimonials laid out in great detail in the first half. I've come to understand that the more James Renner there is an any given James Renner book, the better the book will be. Think of the way Rebecca Skloot became a character in The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. Maybe the extent to which I'm a nerd for research is a niche preference, but I like a nonfiction narrator who narrates their investigation.

This is an affiliate link: https://amzn.to/44Lv0rR

So, I give 4 stars to Little, Crazy Children and still strongly recommend you read the 5-star book, True Crime Addict.

I borrowed this book from my local library using the Libby app and was not obligated in any way to review it.

Book Review: True Crime Addict by James Renner

True Crime Addict: How I Lost Myself in the Mysterious Disappearance of Maura Murray

Intimate and surprising, this memoir disguised within a true crime book hooked me from page one and never let me go. I literally had to tell myself to put it down and go to sleep a few nights ago. It's that engrossing. The expression "truth is stranger than fiction" came to mind quite often as I read this strange, twisting, slightly paranormal story of missing and murdered women and girls and the people who devote themselves to finding them and bringing their kidnappers and killers to justice.

I borrowed this book from the Indianapolis Public Library and was not obligated in any way to review it. This review represents my own honest opinion. 

James Renner's new release is Little, Crazy Children: A True Crime Tragedy of Lost Innocence, released June 27, 2023. This is an affiliate link:

'Not My Turn to Die: Memoirs of a Broken Childhood in Bosnia'

Not My Turn to Die: Memoirs of a Broken Childhood in Bosnia by Savo Heleta

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

If you find this book, read it. Heleta's Serbian family was so, so lucky to survive the civil war in Bosnia and Herzegovina. They came shockingly close to death many times, but their bodies and spirits couldn't be broken.

Two favorite quotes, one serious and one basketball:

"I realize that what happened in Bosnia could happen anywhere in the world, particularly in places that are diverse and have a history of conflict. It only takes bad leadership for a country to go up in flames, for people of different ethnicity, color, or religion to kill each other as if they had nothing in common whatsoever. Having a democratic constitution, laws that secure human rights, police that maintain order, a judicial system, and freedom of speech don't ultimately guarantee long lasting peace. If greedy or bloodthirsty leaders come to power, it can all go down. It happened to us. It can happen to you."

We Americans should probably be heeding that warning right now.

Now the just-for-fun quote:

"We had watched the Sacramento Kings, my favorite NBA team, playing the Indiana Pacers. The Pacers had won but it was still fun, especially since we had tickets for the third row. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Vlade Divac and Predrag Stojakovic, two Serbs playing in the Kings, waving at me and saying hello. They recognized the jersey of Divac's former team from Belgrade that I had been wearing."

This memoir has been on my to-be-read list forever, seemingly. I found out about it from a now-defunct social networking site called Gather.com. It was like my Tumblr before I discovered Tumblr. I'm glad I finally tracked down a copy and read it.

I purchased this book from Half Price Books (non-affiliate link). I was under no obligation to read and review it.

'In the Dream House' by Carmen Maria Machado

In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Have I read anything else from this author? Only the first issue of her comic book, 'A Low, Low Wood.' Which is great and I can't wait for more issues.

Was this book enjoyable? Even though it addresses the incredibly difficult topic of domestic abuse, the writing style of the book and Machado's unique voice makes it enjoyable as a reading experience. She combines a wide variety of genres and writing styles, adding up to short chapters each organized around a theme. It's a unique storytelling style and surprisingly suited to this type of memoir.

Did I learn anything new from this book? Because this book combines Machado's personal experience in an abusive relationship with research, I did learn a great deal from this book.

Where did I get this book? I checked this audiobook out from my local library using the Libby app.

Do I recommend this book to other readers? Yes, I would recommend it to anyone unless they would be too triggered by reading about domestic abuse.

Tina Turner's My Love Story

My Love Story by Tina Turner

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Have I read anything else from this author? Yes, I read I, Tina.

Was this book better than this author's other book? They're both pleasantly hopeful and inspiring. Tina is a mentally strong person who has overcome so much in her life. However, while I, Tina ended on a happy note with Tina reclaiming her life from her ex-husband Ike, this one ends on a sad note.

Was this book enjoyable? Very. Since my husband had a kidney transplant earlier this year and was on dialysis for five years, I found her chapters about her health struggles relatable. I was also glad she has such a rewarding relationship with her husband. He seems great.

Did I learn anything new from this book? I learned that Tina is still the lovely person we met in I, Tina. I also learned she struggled with undiagnosed dyslexia as a child; I don't recall that being mentioned in her previous book. Now I'm extra proud of her that she loves to read and returns to favorite books again and again.

Where did I get this book? I borrowed this ebook from my local library using the Libby app.

Do I recommend this book to other readers? Yes, I would recommend this book to anyone who's interested in celebrity memoirs. The one thing to be aware of is that Tina doesn't narrate the audiobook. It's read by a voice actress.

'Around the Way Girl' by Taraji P. Henson #Memoir #Autobiography

Around the Way Girl by Taraji P. Henson

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I loved Taraji P. Henson anyway (big Person of Interest fan here), but I love her 1000% more after reading how smart, witty, insightful, grounded, and hard-working she is. She's just a really neat person. Yes, she's friends with Mary J. Blige, but she's also really, really real.

This book isn't a literary masterpiece; it's a quick read, organized around several themes such as family and friends rather than a strict chronology. But it's a fun book about a genuinely good person.

I purchased this book with my own funds from Half Price Books (not an affiliate link) and was not obligated in any way to review it.

Jillian Keenan's Memoir 'Sex With Shakespeare'

Sex With Shakespeare: Here's Much to Do With Pain, But More With Love

I knew from the moment I laid eyes on the title of this book that I had to know more. When I spotted it on the autobiographies shelf at my local Barnes and Noble, I knew I had to buy a copy.

The author, Jillian Keenan, is a spanking fetishist. I am not. Despite the fact that I myself am not a part of the spanking sub-subculture of the BDSM subculture, I found that I felt a tremendous amount of sympathy with the author as she told her story.

This is, after all, a love story. All love stories are relatable, to some extent, to anyone who's ever been in love.

Each chapter is themed around a particular Shakespearean work. The first chapter centers on my favorite of the Bard's comedies, A Midsummer Night's Dream. Here Keenan addresses a topic also brought up by E.T. Malinowski in her romance novel A Midsummer Dream: Are Demetrius and Helena ever really in love?

Keenan thinks they are, as I do. But she adds an interesting new spin. She contends that when Helena says:

"I am your spaniel; and, Demetrius,
The more you beat me, I will fawn on you:
Use me but as your spaniel, spurn me, strike me,
Neglect me, lose me; only give me leave,
Unworthy as I am, to follow you.
What worser place can I beg in your love,--
And yet a place of high respect with me,--
Than to be used as you use your dog?"

...she is being literal. She wants Demetrius to treat her like his dog. In Helena, Keenan sees a kindred soul, a woman whose sexuality is incomplete, virtually nonexistent, without her submissive, masochistic side being expressed. Keenan sees Helena as a woman embracing her emerging kink, while Demetrius is still coming to terms with his Dominant/sadist tendencies. Genuinely afraid he will hurt Helena, Demetrius turns his attentions to the woman he perceives as the safe, vanilla choice: Hermia.

Kinky headcanon accepted. Since I can't seem to stop crushing on Christian Bale as Demetrius, I want the interpretation that puts Demetrius in the most sympathetic light.

http://thatwritererinoriordan.tumblr.com/post/151682499370/the-traditional-vanilla-interpretation-of

The second chapter deals with a character I find much less likeable: Caliban from The Tempest. Keenan has a special relationship with Caliban, but I can't get over the fact that he admits he tried to rape Miranda. Keenan doesn't excuse that, but she does remind us that Shakespeare was a humanist and even he, in the authorial voice, allows mercy for Caliban in the end.

There are a few plays mentioned in this memoir that I haven't seen or read yet: Twelfth Night, Cymbeline, Antony and Cleopatra, and As You Like It. By and large, though, all the characters with whom Keenan has a series of imagination conversations that help her find her way are all familiar, beloved characters to me.

Now, Keenan has a master's degree in literature that focused on Shakespeare and is recognized as an expert. Productions call her in when they have questions about interpretation of the text. I'm an amateur fan who fell in love with my fifth grade teacher cast me as Peter Quince. I don't know nearly as much about Shakespeare as Keenan does, but as a fellow fangirl, I can certainly appreciate her enthusiasm for the subject.

She writes with remarkable honesty and openness about matters both deeply personal and professional, and I felt privileged to accompany her on this inward journey. I may not share the specifics of her sexual orientation (and she does call spanking fetishism her orientation - in the more conventional sense of the term, she is bisexual, like me - and like Shakespeare, probably), but through this book, I have new insight into the experience.

One quibble: Keenan mentions that in Shakespeare's time, the liver and not the heart was considered to be the seat of love. However, it seems to me that I have seen references within Shakespeare's plays to the heart as the seat of love. Did she mean that the liver was considered to be the seat of lust?

Either way, I really, really enjoyed reading this memoir.

I purchased this book with my own funds and was not obligated in any way to review it.

'Unforgettable' by Scott Simon: Portrait of a Classy Lady

I wanted to read this nonfiction book, subtitled A Son, a Mother, and the Lessons of a Lifetime, because Scott Simon wrote one of my all-time favorite novels, Pretty Birds. Set in Sarajevo in the mid-1990s, it follows 17-year-old Bosniak Muslim high school student Irena Zaric as she goes from basketball all-star to sniper. Although the tale is fictional, Simon met women like Irena when he worked as a war correspondent in the former Yugoslavia.

Pretty Birds was a book that, to borrow a phrase from John Green, filled me with a weird evangelical zeal. I don't know whether or not I ever actually convinced anyone to read it, but oh lord, how I did try.

Pretty Birds made me cry. So did Simon's memoir of Patricia, his glamorous, ultra-thoughtful mother in her last days. Patricia had had a bout with lung cancer, which had cost her half of one lung. She was in remission, but then her husband (Simon's second stepfather) noticed she was losing weight without trying. 

She was hospitalized in her hometown of Chicago and put on a respirator. It turns out the therapy that had eliminated her cancer had also weakened her lung-and-a-half to the point that she could no longer breathe on her own. Her ability to breathe was rapidly running out, and there was nothing left for medical science to do. 

Simon, who lives in California, came to Chicago to stay with his mom. He slept in a camper's sleeping bag on her hospital room floor - although he didn't sleep much, because it's hard to sleep in an intensive care unit. Simon's wife and two daughters followed him to Chicago, and his wife was able to spend time with her mother-in-law, but children weren't allowed in the ICU. The girls had to say goodbye to their Grandmere (Simon's wife is from France) secondhand.

Unforgettable started out as a series of Twitter tweets Simon posted while Patricia was in the hospital - typos and all. He used those spur-of-the-moment written thoughts as a jumping off point to tell his mother's life story and also to capture a sense of what it was like to be with her as she knew her clock was running out.

She was a classy lady up to the very end. A single mom for most of Simon's life, she was from an Irish Catholic background. (Her parents were named Francis and Frances.) She married a Jewish comedian and gave up a nascent acting career when she became pregnant with Scott Simon's only sibling, a little girl who did not survive infancy. They divorced as a result of his alcoholism, and he died when Simon was 16. 

Simon is a good son. Death is hard for everyone, but he made an honest effort to really be present with his mother at the end of her life. I'm glad I read this, because I feel it was a privilege to get to know Patricia, even in a small way. She was an amazing person, and I'm certain Simon's daughters will grow up to be better women for having known her influence.

I received a copy of this book in exchange for this review, which represents my own honest opinion, through the Amazon Vine program.

'This Star Won't Go Out,' The Inspirational True Story of the Late Esther Earl In Her Own Words

This Star Won't Go Out: The Life and Words of Esther Grace Earl by Esther Earl

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Esther Grace Earl was only 16 years old when she lost her battle with thyroid cancer in 2010. She never wanted to be anything other than a writer, and she was one her way to being a great one. Her parents, Wayne and Lori Earl, along with Esther's four siblings, friends, and the medical team who worked with her, created this book to preserve Esther's one-of-a-kind writings and drawings. Esther's kindness, compassion, thoughtfulness, and love shine through the words and images she left behind.

Not only did she love her family and friends deeply, but she also cared about doing something good for the world and helping people she never met. She had a strong faith in God that helped her get through the worst of her chemotherapy and the breathing problems she had related to her cancer.

Esther loved Harry Potter, Dr. Who, her cats Blueberry and Pancake, and John and Hank Green's Vlog Brothers videos, and she never forgot to be awesome. She was an amazing person, so it's a wonderful thing that her voice is still able to be shared with the world. The media have an unfortunate tendency to dismiss and belittle things that are geared toward teens, and especially teenage girls, and it can be hard for a teen girl's genuine voice to be heard - all the more reason to listen to Esther in her own words.

John Green was already working on The Fault In Our Stars when he met Esther. She served as an inspiration for the fictional Hazel Grace Lancaster - note they share a middle name - but Green was very careful to see Esther as a person, a friend, and not some kind of research project. He's a good human being like that.

Sometimes this book made me want to cry, but that's okay. It's okay to miss someone's presence from the world when that presence so clearly made the world a better place. It's too bad that we'll never know the answer to the riddle Esther wrote into the fantasy story she started, but what she did leave behind was a legacy of awesome.

I do wish she would've been able to finish her romantic comedy story, though. It had some really nice elements, even in its raw state. Shades of The Devil Wears Prada, but with a clear romance bent.

Please, if you know of any other books like this one - memories of a kid who left the world too soon - recommend them to me. I think a book like this is an ideal tribute to a creative young person who is, sadly, no longer with us. Their spirits live on in the art they left behind and the way they made other people feel.

I've also started following http://tswgo.tumblr.com/. It's the Tumblr page of the organization founded in Esther's name that helps the families of children with cancer. Great organization. Check it out.

I purchased This Star Won't Go Out with my own funds at a brick-and-mortar Barnes and Noble. I was not obligated to write this review in any way.

View all my reviews on Goodreads

The Red Carnation Hotel Collection Introduces Beatrice Tollman's Memoir 'A Life in Food'

DELRAY BEACH, FL, Feb. 25, 2014 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) -- The Red Carnation Hotel Collection is proud to introduce A Life in Food, Beatrice Tollman's memoir, travelogue and recipe book. President and founder of The Red Carnation Hotel Collection, Tollman was also awarded as European Hotelier of the Year 2012, European Hospitality Awards.

The book is a celebration of life and travel, filled with recipes from the heart, many of which have been passed down through the family or discovered during far-flung adventures. Bea Tollman's kitchen expertise and experiences as a traveler, mother, and hotelier are showcased in a fascinating collection of personal reminiscences and favorite recipes.

The book also tells the story of how The Red Carnation Hotel Collection was established, and reveals the inspiration for some of the most popular dishes enjoyed at each of its hotels around the world. Many of the signature dishes, which guests come back for time and again, are those which Bea Tollman has collected, refined, and perfected - and that she personally teaches to each chef in every property.

These dishes include hearty traditional favorites such as Chicken Noodle Soup with Mini Chicken Pies, Shrimp Stroganoff, Lemon Chicken, and Pasta Primavera. Favorite dessert recipes featured include Bea's Rice Pudding, as well as the perennially popular Bea's Cheesecake, a Triple-Baked Delight with Creme Fraiche Topping, Strawberry Syrup and Fresh Strawberries. Each dish is presented with a fascinating story of how the recipe came into being.

Creative Commons image by user A R

It is thanks to Bea Tollman's passion and belief in unparalleled levels of service that makes The Red Carnation Hotel Collection one of the most renowned hotel companies in the world. "My driving passion is to make every stay memorable for every single guest, to offer great value for money, and to make them feel truly welcomed and special. I believe having this at the heart of everything we do is what has led to the success of the company," she says.

A Life in Food is available for sale at each of the Red Carnation Hotels, retailing at $39, as well as on www.amazon.co.uk. Note that the cost of the book is subject to monetary fluctuations. In the United States, all proceeds go to the Safe Harbor Sanctuary and Animal Hospital. In South Africa, all proceeds are donated to The Amy Biehl Foundation. In the UK, all proceeds go to the Starlight Children's Foundation and The Tick Tock Club (Great Ormond Street Hospital
Children's Charity).

About The Red Carnation Hotel Collection

The Red Carnation Hotel Collection is an award-winning collection of five- and four-star family-run boutique hotels in London, Dorset, Guernsey, Geneva, Palm Beach, South Africa and Ireland. Each property has its own individual character and unique location that reflects the local environment, culture, and cuisine. They all share the qualities that win Red Carnation so many prestigious awards - splendid luxury, generous hospitality, inventive and traditional cuisine, private art collections, passionate service, and loyal staff committed to creating richly rewarding experiences for all their guests.

Creative Commons image by user Rick Kimpel

For more information about The Red Carnation Hotel Collection, please call toll free from the USA/Canada at 1.877.955.1515 or from Europe, Australia and New Zealand at + 800.1698.8740. Visit us at www.redcarnationhotels.com or email book@rchmail.com.

About The TreadRight Foundation

The Red Carnation Hotel Collection is part of a joint initiative with The TreadRight Foundation, a not-for-profit foundation established by The Travel Corporation to encourage sustainable tourism within our own family of brands and in the places we visit. To date, TreadRight has donated more than US $2 million to sustainable tourism projects around the world. To find out more about our work with TreadRight, visit:
www.TreadRight.org.

www.betterworldbooks.com

www.lulu.com

Social Media, Writing, and Editing Services I Offer - Erin O'Riordan

DJ From Lady Gaga's Early Days Releases Memoir

In case you missed seashell-bikini-clad Lady Gaga's Video Music Awards performance on Sunday, August 25^th, don't worry: you'll hear her new hit single "Applause" everywhere you go soon enough. Mother Monster's lead-off single from her upcoming ARTPOP album currently sits at #3 on the iTunes Top Songs chart.

Although forced to cancel her Born This Way Ball tour in February 2013 due to a hip injury, Lady Gaga has hardly been out of the limelight leading up to the August 12^th release of the "Applause" single. Was she always destined for stardom?

Yes, says Brendan Jay Sullivan, the author of a book released this week. In Sullivan's memoir Rivington Was Ours: Lady Gaga, the Lower East Side and the Prime of Our Lives, the former DJ, bartender and aspiring novelist, then known as VH1, tells of the chaotic year he spent DJing for Gaga as she evolved from a go-go dancer to a magnetic on-stage presence. Even in 2006, he knew Stefani Germanotta – who already called herself Gaga – would make it as a pop star.

In an interview with Salon.com writer Eric R. Danton, Sullivan confesses he had no hesitation about writing the memoir exposing Gaga's early days. He actually wanted to set the record straight, to let mainstream music fans know the singer's New York City nightlife wasn't as "filthy" and debauched as is sometimes reported.

Club-kid Gaga, however, did learn her flair for outrageous fashion early, as "almost a survival skill" for gaining access, getting into clubs and parties, Sullivan writes.

Rivington Was Ours was published August 27, 2013 by !t Books, an imprint of HarperCollins. Find it at major book retailers including Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Books-A-Million and the Apple iBookstore.

Lady Gaga's legion of Little Monsters now have something to read while the await the November 11^th release of ARTPOP.

Sources

"iTunes Charts." Apple, Inc. n.d. http://www.apple.com/itunes/charts/ 

"Lady Gaga Cancels Tour Because of Hip Injury." James C. McKinley, Jr. Feb. 14, 2013. http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/02/14/lady-gaga-cancels-tour-because-of-hip-injury/?_r=0 

"Lady Gaga's Early Days: 'The Sexual Energy Was Palpable. You could smell it." Eric R. Danton, Aug. 27, 2013.

http://www.salon.com/2013/08/27/lady_gagas_early_days_the_sexual_energy_was_palpable_you_could_smell_it/ 

"Lady Gaga Releases 'Applause' Single: Listen." Jason Lipshutz, Aug. 12, 2013. http://www.billboard.com/articles/news/5646241/lady-gaga-releases-applause-single-listen  

"Lady Gaga's Versace Jumpsuit Is Pretty Versatile." Rebecca Adams, Aug. 27, 2013. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/27/lady-gaga-versace-jumpsuit_n_3821889.html 

Rivington Was Ours (home page). n.d. http://www.rivingtonwasours.com/

Rivington Was Ours: Lady Gaga, the Lower East Side and the Prime of Our Lives (product page). n.d. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0062125583?ref=st  

Book Club Friday: Reading 'In the Body of the World' (Memoir) by Eve Ensler

This Friday I'm reading In the Body of the World, the memoir by Eve Ensler, the activist and writer best known for The Vagina Monologues. I got an ARC of this book free from the Amazon Vine program - free book in exchange for my own honest opinion in a review. I'm about 80 pages into it right now, and it's about 217 pages long.

The Blurb From GoodReads: From the bestselling author of The Vagina Monologues and one of Newsweek’s150 Women Who Changed the World, a visionary memoir of separation and connection—to the body, the self, and the world.

Playwright, author, and activist Eve Ensler has devoted her life to the female body—how to talk about it, how to protect and value it. Yet she spent much of her life disassociated from her own body—a disconnection brought on by her father’s sexual abuse and her mother’s remoteness. “Because I did not, could not inhabit my body or the Earth,” she writes, “I could not feel or know their pain.”

But Ensler is shocked out of her distance. While working in the Congo, she is shattered to encounter the horrific rape and violence inflicted on the women there. Soon after, she is diagnosed with uterine cancer, and through months of harrowing treatment, she is forced to become first and foremost a body—pricked, punctured, cut, scanned. It is then that all distance is erased. As she connects her own illness to the devastation of the earth, her life force to the resilience of humanity, she is finally, fully—and gratefully—joined to the body of the world.

Unflinching, generous, and inspiring, Ensler calls on us all to embody our connection to and responsibility for the world.

I said this wasn't going to be an easy memoir to read, but it's not just a litany of true horror stories. Ensler is first and foremost a survivor, and you don't get to be a survivor unless you're able to rise above the worst you've been through with some resilience and good humor. There's some tough stuff in the Monologues, too, but at the same time, it's very funny and real, and you come away not with the sense that the world is hopeless and all is lost, but that the secret to existing as a human on this planet is, and always has been, embedded in the female spirit.

That's what makes this book not only bearable to read, but actually enjoyable. It's not that you're enjoying cancer, abuse and torture, it's that you're enjoying the ability of women to survive, thrive, and look toward the future with hope.

The title, I think, refers to the fact that we all have to live within one finite, very limited, fragile human body, yet that one body has the ability and the power to make an enormous impact on the world. She's constantly linking events in her own life and in her own body with events on a global scale. The infection raging through her body reminds her of the Gulf of Mexico oil spill as she's watching the tragedy unfold on TV. These are some of the most powerful passages. This was the one that really got me:

"Afterward I meet with my oncology team, who seem utterly distracted....They send me to another distracted, testy, arrogant doctor dude who makes me feel that my questions are childish and wasting his time....

"Then he says the mantra of the end of the world. 'WE LIKE TO THROW EVERYTHING AT IT. That's all we know how to do.' And I say, 'The only problem is that IT is attached to ME.' And I swear, he doesn't flinch. Me is irrelevant. Me is personal and specific. Me is what has to be passed through to get where he is going. Me is what can be sacrificed to get better information. And I suddenly know what the bride in Pakistan felt when the drones bombed her wedding and her fiance splintered into pieces and her mother was only fragments of a dress. They were throwing everything at al-Qaeda. And I suddenly love my infection and my protective scar tissue, which are saving me from everything they want to throw at me."

That made me angry. That made me think, "How dare you!" How does anyone, ever, dare think it might be okay to drop a bomb on someone's wedding?!? Why might you think it would be okay to kill people by remote control at all? How could compassionate people who supposedly care about something other than themselves - including President Obama - not ban drones for anything other than surveillance? Why haven't the American people protested against this disgusting practice until drone strikes were banned? Because look at who the bad guys is here - it's not those awful Congolese militia members who are torturing the women - it's Americans (and Canadians and the British, to a much lesser extent). It's US.

Which I'm sure is the point of this book. It's supposed to make us upset, but in a constructive way. It's supposed to take that classic second wave feminist expression, "The personal is political," and flip it inside out to where we'll see that the political is also personal.

I still contend that everyone should either read or see a performance of The Vagina Monologues. I don't know yet if I could make the same endorsement of In the Body of the World, but I still think a lot of people will derive a lot of value from reading it.

Have you read this? What did you think?




(I am an Amazon affiliate, and if you buy this book or anything through this link, I earn a small percentage.)

Intriguing New Memoir From Bettie Young's Books

Diary Of A Beverly Hills Matchmaker, by Marla Martenson (Bettie Youngs Books, April 2010) - guest post

Beverly Hills: just the name conjures up a town chock full of aspiring actresses, wannabees, gold diggers, poseurs and opportunists on the hunt for Daddy Warbucks, and dreaming that their fabulous fannies will be seated in nothing less than a Rolls Royce, Lamborghini, or Ferrari. Then there are the Goldman Sachs size male egos on the hunt for a bevy of beauties, but only if they look like Heidi Klum or, as the author calls them in the book she's penned Diary of a Beverly Hills Matchmaker, a size 0 waif who literally looks like "tits on a stick." The groups, you might contend, deserve each other.

It's no wonder that these types of introduction services are cropping up faster than hair plugs at the Men’s Club. So is everyone looking for the perfect 10? Well, pretty much yes, says the author. Since men are visual their main concern is that the women are in great shape and beautiful, with personality and intelligence coming in second and third on their list, and women are looking for security and an easy, breezy, lifestyle, which translates to, “I would like a man who makes at least a million a year” and on occasion Martenson would receive demands such as, “I will only date a man who has a private jet; I just refuse to fly commercial!”

Says the author, "The American dream is “to have it all,” “hold out for the best” and “don’t settle.” After all, it’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man, right? But just how long are singles willing to wait for the perfect specimen with whom to hook? It’s fine and dandy when a woman is in her twenties and looking like a million bucks, but when she has reached the forty mark and higher, things start to crinkle and sag, eggs dry up and dreams are dashed. The competition is the new arrivals with taut young bodies and stars in their eyes and the over forty male is often considered “distinguished” rather than the over forty woman who is just considered “old.”

No wonder online dating and matchmaking services are no longer taboo. One is not considered “desperate” to reach out for some help in finding love. But with that convenience and technology comes the expectation of “putting in an order” for the perfect mate. Martenson writes about the mentality of many male clients and the attitude, “I’ve paid you thousands of dollars to match me, so find me exactly what I want even if that means specific hair color, eye color, height, weight, and nipple preference. Yes, nipple preference. Martenson tells a story of a member who broke up with a woman because her areolas were “too big.”

Another concern of her male clients is the size of their match’s derriere. Here is an email to Martenson after a first date:

Dear Marla, I really found Sandy to be attractive, fun, intelligent, and cultured. We had a great time. The only thing is, I am wondering if she has a big butt. She was wearing one of those puffy dresses. She says that she does all kinds of activities like dance classes, working out at the gym, and hiking, but I just can’t be sure how big her butt is. Is there any way you can let me know if it’s big or if the dress she was wearing just gave that illusion?

Joseph

And did Martenson find her fairy tale ending with her perfect ten, or did she settle for second best in a heartless city in the knowledge that her clock had all but stopped ticking? A hopeless romantic, she is certain that it was kismet meeting the woman late one Friday night at a Rite Aid store on Sunset Blvd. who would introduce her to her husband a month later.

Ten years ago, Marla Martenson never dreamed that she would launch into a new career as a Beverly Hills Matchmaker, working tirelessly to find her financially upscale male clients the perfect ten to walk down the aisle with. But when a friend of her husband’s offered her a job at a video dating service, the course of her life was changed for good. After a year and a half at the dating service, she accepted a position at an exclusive Beverly Hills introduction agency as the head matchmaker.

After years toiling in the trenches unearthing the most exquisite gems to match to her well-heeled gentlemen, Martenson felt moved to write her third book, a memoir, Diary Of A Beverly Hills Matchmaker. For a woman who had given up on finding her soul mate and accepted her fate of remaining single, living in a studio apartment in Hollywood with her dog, having an open heart and mind has proven to be golden.

Marla Martenson
www.marlamartenson.com

K.C. Lauer's 'Bad Girl Gone Mom' is not your average recovery memoir

K.C. Lauer opens Bad Girl Gone Mom, her memoir of drug and alcohol addiction and recovery, with an author's note referencing James Frey's A Million Little Pieces. Lauer's harrowing and ultimately hopeful depiction of her earlier life may remind some of Frey's memoir, though Lauer attests she's done her best to fact-check where possible. Given the obstacles she's had to overcome, Lauer's memoir could be no one else's but her own.

Lauer was born with a cleft palate, a condition that wasn't discovered until after her parents left the hospital with her. Somehow her doctors wouldn't notice until Lauer's teen years that she was also born with vaginal agenesis, an underdeveloped vaginal canal. In Lauer's case, she had no vaginal opening. One had to be surgically created. Lauer writes poignantly of her sense of being a sexless being turned into an artificial woman, created expressly for the purpose of male pleasure. By the time she had her surgery at age 15, Lauer no longer considered herself a virgin; she and a boyfriend had been having interstitial intercourse without knowing any better. Still, she felt violated and offended at the thought of having to use a set of plastic vaginal dilators (dildos, essentially) until, as her doctors liked to put it, she got married.

She had already turned to drugs and alcohol to ease the pain of being different. After Lauer's surgery, she added promiscuity to her list of self-destructive behaviors. I don't mean that to sound negative toward teenage sexuality in general. Some teens have sex because they enjoy it or because they fall in love, but Lauer wasn't one of them. She seemed to be out to prove to the world that she was a "real" woman in the only way she could figure out how to. This led her into destructive relationships, two bad marriages, sexual abuse and generally being used.

As one can guess from the title, Lauer got pregnant and had a daughter, despite the uterine complications that are sometimes associated with vaginal agenesis. Her transformation was slow and, at times, painful, but eventually she transitioned from recovering addict to responsible parent.

Lauer suggests this book be shared with teens who might be headed down the same self-destructive path. It's not what would typically be considered a "young adult" book. It contains explicit depictions of sexual acts, including acts in the context of a Dominant-submissive relationship. However, mature teens who struggle with drug use, alcohol addiction or abusive relationships may relate to Lauer and learn from her experience.

The best pull-out quote from Bad Girl Gone Mom is this one: "I already knew that I loved words, but I discovered that I loved words about sex even more."

Disclosure: I received a free copy of this e-book from the author in exchange for this review. I was not otherwise compensated.

https://amzn.to/3Uzusnd

"Journaling For Caregivers" by Zoe FitzGerald Carter

Research shows putting pen to paper cuts stress

By Zoe FitzGerald Carter

Taking care of a sick or elderly loved one can be emotionally gratifying but it can also be exhausting and stressful. This is especially true for those of us in the so-called “sandwich generation” who are taking care of children while simultaneously taking care of elderly parents. Working long hours, living far away from our parents, and worrying about their wellbeing also adds to our stress.

One excellent way to take care of ourselves during the times when we feel especially stretched thin is to put pen to paper. Researchers such as James W. Pennebaker, professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, have shown that writing reduces both physical and mental stress. It accomplishes this by giving us a place to release our worries, to regain our sense of stability, and to feel heard and acknowledged.

Keeping a journal, even if it means writing only 10 minutes a day, can help us deal with feelings of frustration that can arise when we are taking care of sick or aging loved ones. It can also help to give us insight into ourselves. Even if you have never considered yourself a writer, you can benefit from spending a few minutes “letting go” on the page. This can mean writing down your thoughts and frustrations – as well as your hopes and dreams. But whether you are venting about how difficult it is to get your mother’s doctor on the phone, or describing the dream vacation you’d like to take with your girlfriends, “journaling” can provide a mini-break from your daily demands and give you some much-needed perspective on your life.

Just remember, the purpose is to release your thoughts freely onto the page. Don’t edit yourself or expend energy worrying about whether your writing is “good.” Journaling is about the process of writing -- of putting your thoughts into words -- not trying to write a novel. The payoff is feeling happier and more relaxed.

To get started, buy yourself a notebook or journal that catches your eye and find a favorite pen. If you prefer to write on a computer that is fine although many people find that it is easier to access a more creative, personal mindset away from electronics. Then, find a quite place to write where you won’t be disturbed. Some people like to write first thing in the morning, others last thing at night. But whether you are writing in your bedroom, at the local Starbucks, or parked in your car on your lunch break, the important thing is that you find a few minutes everyday to write.

It is helpful to spend a minute or two relaxing before you begin. Close your eyes and take a few long breaths. Imagine that every time you exhale, you are letting go of your stress and frustration. Every time you inhale, imagine that you are flooding your body with calming, peaceful energy.

Once you feel relaxed, it is time to write! Don’t waste your energy thinking about what you should write, just do it. If you are happy or excited about something, describe it. If you are upset or angry, describe that. Caretaking can bring up conflicting feelings of love and resentment and that’s okay. Don’t let guilt about these difficult emotions stop you. This is your private space to speak your truth. If you need a prompt, try answering some open-ended questions. “What I am most worried about is….” “What I miss most these days is…” “In five years, I see myself as…”

Getting into the habit of taking time out of your day to communicate deeply with yourself and to write it down may take awhile. But if you stick with it, not only will it help to create a sense of space and calm in the midst of the overwhelming demands of daily life, it will make you better able to meet those demands. You may even find that you are more patient and able to listen as you go about your caretaking duties. And who knows, you just may discover that you have a novel or book of essays inside of you after all.

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About the Author: Zoe FitzGerald Carter is a graduate of Columbia Journalism School and has written for numerous publications including The New York Times, The San Francisco Chronicle, Salon and Vogue. Imperfect Endings is her first memoir and it’s available in paperback March 2011. It was excerpted in O magazine, was chosen as a finalist for the National MS Society's Books for a Better Life Awards in the "Inspirational Memoir" category, and is a Barnes & Noble Discover Great New Writer's pick. Zoe lives in Northern California with her husband and two daughters and is currently at work on a novel. Learn more at http://imperfectendings.com.