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Showing posts with label Mitzi Szereto. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mitzi Szereto. Show all posts

Friday, June 1, 2018

When Bedtime Reading Enters My Dreams

I had another one of those dreams last night, a dream I was caught in the middle of the zombie apocalypse. When this happened before, I turned the dream into the short story "The Wild Ones," which you can read in Love, Lust, and Zombies, edited by Mitzi Szereto.


I always love a good zombie story, and I still have crushes on SEVERAL cast members from The Walking Dead, but the specific reason for this zombie dream had to do with my choice of reading material before bed. It was TVTropes.org, which I have mentioned several times previously as a favorite resource.

Like Wikipedia, it's also a good place to follow a proverbial rabbit trail. As one writer on Tumblr once said, "Does anyone else go on Wikipedia to look something up and then click on a bunch of random links and then half an hour later you’re 10 articles deep into the inner workings of Vietnamese politics?"

I do; I suppose that's part of the life of the writer. The day I found Wikipedia's pseudohistory category was a pretty clear example of that.

My search into TVTropes last night began with Rihanna. I'd heard her song "What Now" on Spotify the other day. I hadn't seen the video in a while, but I remembered that I contained images of the singer doing some moves that involve contortions and other non-dance moves that may remind viewers of either a person with a mental illness or film depictions of a person who is possessed (by evil spirits, perhaps).

This is the official video from Rihanna's VEVO page on YouTube. It's not available for embedding as of this writing.

This screencap captures Rihanna as she begins to fall backward.

I wondered if anyone had commented about this on TVTropes. Music videos are written of and discussed on the site, and I wondered if anyone had added "demonic possession" or anything similar as a trope in the "What Now" video. Well, there isn't even a page for the "What Now" video. The single and its accompanying video are barely mentioned on TVTropes at all.

This caused me to wonder a very specific thing: When I imagine the trope of what "demonic possession" looks like visually, what am I actually thinking of?

A related question I'd been interested in the past month or so had to do with the origin of the zombie myth in pop culture. Wikipedia actually does a really good job of answering that one. When I think of a zombie, I'm largely thinking of the visual language created by George Romero in his Night of the Living Dead, which I watched as a child and have seen several times since. It premiered in 1968, before I was born.

A fascinating audio book I heard recently (having borrowed it from the library via the Libby app) was Rabid: A Cultural History of the World's Most Diabolical Virus by Bill Wasik and Dr. Monica Murphy. In it, the authors mention that George Romero's film was inspired by Richard Matheson's 1954 novel I Am Legend. Even though Matheson calls his infected, murderous undead "vampires," the book essentially inspired the modern myth of the zombie apocalypse.


In turn, the bloodthirsty, relentless vampires in the book and its subsequent adaptations resemble animals with rabies. The human fear of zombies is closely related to the human fears of disease transmission and the kind of loss of control associated with neurological diseases like rabies. (Note that in real life, rabies isn't transmittable from one human being to another - not easily, anyway.)

And all of that was interesting to me, but if you visit the page on demonic possession on Wikipedia, you get more of a religious and historical discussion than a pop culture one. So to dig a little deeper into the cultural history of film depictions of demonic possession, I visited the TVTropes page on The Exorcist. (You may remember this post about the ongoing cultural relevance of Pazuzu.)

But then somehow, from there, I ended up on the page for Jesus Christ Superstar, the 1970 rock opera by Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber. I've never seen the whole thing, only bits of it as a student in various Catholic schools. (I wanted to watch the TV version that aired earlier this year, but I missed it.)

If you go to TVTropes' Your Mileage May Vary (YMMV, i.e. opinions) page, you see there are versions of this musical in which Judas and Jesus are depicted with varying amounts of sexual tension between them. Now, when you say "Judas" to me, the first thing I think of is the Lady Gaga video. That is also unavailable for embedding, but it can be found here. Here's a little screencap:

Actor Rick Gonzalez (left) portrays Jesus, with Gaga as Mary Magdalene
That Judas? He's Norman Reedus, one of my Walking Dead crushes. I've been into him ever since my first viewing of Boondock Saints. And Judas x Jesus is the reason I had a dream about zombies last night.

It wasn't even a particularly scary dream; it mostly involved avoiding the darkness I Am Legend-style.

So if you're down to do a little wiki editing, someone could add some pop culture references to Wikipedia's demonic possession page and fill in some more of Rihanna's video tropes on TVTropes.org.

By the way, if you're really trying to give yourself nightmares, a good TV trope to explore is fold spindle mutilation. Read the real-life examples if you have a taste for gruesome reading, especially the Byford Dolphin diving bell accident story. It's both tragic and gross, if you're into that sort of thing. (And what human being doesn't have at least a little streak of morbid curiosity?)

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

'Phantom: The Immortal:' A Writing Collaboration from Bestselling Authors Mitzi Szereto and Ashley Lister


Release date: Spring 2016
Now available in e-book; coming soon in trade paperback
Price: USD $5.99 (digital edition); USD $9.99 (trade paperback edition)
Digital edition: 174 pages; trade paper edition: 202 pages
Genres: Erotic Romance, Gothic Romance, Paranormal Erotic Romance, Romantic Suspense

Sexual desire and soul-searing need fuel this contemporary erotic sequel that relocates the original character from Gaston Leroux’s classic novel The Phantom of the Opera to present-day Paris…


While attending an auction of music memorabilia, young soprano Christine Delacroix bids on some letters written by another young soprano, Christine DaaĆ©, who lived during the 19th century. Here she meets the handsome Compte Rezso Esterhazy, who immediately sets out to court her. Despite his attentions, Christine becomes obsessed with the DaaĆ© letters and her namesake’s mysterious “Angel of Music”—a masked man who lived beneath the Paris Opera House.

Seemingly immortal and frozen in time, the Phantom is condemned to life below the opera house and in the shadows…until Christine Delacroix auditions for a minor role in Faust. Convinced the Christine from his past has been returned to him, he sets out for her to have the lead female role. He visits her in her dressing room to give her singing lessons, all the while remaining hidden from view. Insanely jealous over Christine’s budding romance with the Compte, the Phantom abducts her and takes her to his underground lair, where the singing lessons continue. Only this time they are far more depraved and sexual in nature.


Visit the book’s website at: http://mitziszereto.com/phantomtheimmortal

About the authors:

Mitzi Szereto (mitziszereto.com) is an author and anthology editor of multi-genre fiction and non-fiction. She has her own blog of humorous essays at Errant Ramblings: Mitzi Szereto’s Weblog (mitziszereto.com/blog), and a web TV channel Mitzi TV (mitziszereto.com/tv), which covers the quirky side of London, England.

Her books include Rotten Peaches (The Thelonious T. Bear Chronicles) and Normal for Norfolk (The Thelonious T. Bear Chronicles)—the cozy mystery/satire series co-authored with her sidekick bear Teddy Tedaloo; The Wilde Passions of Dorian Gray; Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts; Darker Edge of Desire: Gothic Tales of Romance; Love, Lust and Zombies; Thrones of Desire: Erotic Tales of Swords, Mist and Fire; Red Velvet and Absinthe: Paranormal Erotic Romance; Getting Even: Revenge Stories; and Dying For It: Tales of Sex and Death.


Mitzi has pioneered erotic writing workshops in the UK and mainland Europe, teaching from the Cheltenham Festival of Literature to the Greek islands, as well as lecturing in creative writing at several British universities. Her anthology Erotic Travel Tales 2 is the first anthology of erotica to feature a Fellow of the Royal Society of Literature.

Ashley Lister (ashleylister.co.uk) is a prolific writer, having written more than two dozen full-length novels and over a hundred short stories. His most recent titles include the Sweet Temptation series from HarperCollins and the horror novel Raven and Skull, due to be released mid-2016.


Aside from regularly blogging about writing, Ashley is also an occasional performance poet and teaches creative writing. He has hosted creative writing workshops at Eroticon, the annual conference for sex bloggers and erotica writers, and is the editor of Coming Together in Verse, a charity anthology of erotic poetry. Ashley is currently studying for a PhD in creative writing, focusing on short fiction. He lives in Lancashire in the UK. Visit his blog at ashleylisterauthor.blogspot.co.uk.

http://www.amazon.com/Phantom-Immortal-Mitzi-Szereto-ebook/dp/B01BN4G0RI/

Friday, January 31, 2014

The Wilde Passions of Dorian Gray: #BookReview

Wilde Passions of Dorian Gray: A NovelWilde Passions of Dorian Gray: A Novel by Mitzi Szereto

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

One caveat: I never read The Picture of Dorian Gray. I knew the basic plot, perhaps because I did a unit on Oscar Wilde in middle school and read one of his shorter works - I don't remember exactly. Before I started reading this book, I thought it was going to be a mash-up of the original with some of Szereto's original thoughts added in, like her Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts. At first I was a little disappointed, since I really enjoyed that Austen parody. However, as I read on, I was glad to discover it was a wholly original tale crafted from the "what if" of Dorian becoming an immortal - or at least very long-lived - being.

Because I didn't read the original, I don't know how true Szereto wrote Dorian Gray to the way Wilde wrote the character, but that didn't matter as I read this. Szereto's Gray gets into some very imaginative scenarios, starting with a run-in with some very famous expatriate American writers in Paris. This chapter is fun. The tale becomes quick a bit darker in the next setting, and the darkness continues as Gray spirals downward into total depravity.

Dorian is a bastard, but it's a fantastically well-told story. Still, even Dorian Gray has some hope for redemption, and the ending of this novel is very fitting.

In the past I've enjoyed Szereto's signature blend of erotica and humor, so this novel is a definite change of pace from what I'm used to from this author. I like it. It confirms once and for all that Szereto is a well-rounded and talented novelist.

View all my reviews on Goodreads

Click here to listen to an audio interview with Szereto about this book.

About Szereto's Other Books on This Blog:

Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts - interview with Mitzi Szereto
In Sleeping Beauty's Bed - book review

Disclosure: I received a free copy of this book, unsolicited, from the publisher. I was offered no other compensation for this review, which represents my own honest opinion.

***

This is an affiliate link:

All In: 25 Erotic Stories by Emily Cantore. $4.99 from Smashwords.com
25 erotic short stories from the hot and bothered mind of Emily Cantore! To buy individually would cost a bundle! More than 130,000 words of first-time lesbians, threesomes, girls experimenting, sex toys and much more. Guaranteed to warm you up and get your mind racing!

Friday, August 16, 2013

Love, Lust and Zombies (New Work To Look Forward To)

Way back in March 2012, I watched Person of Interest, went to bed and had a dream about zombies. I wrote about it here.

Then I turned the dream into a short story.

It was originally intended for Coming Together: Hungry For Love. It did not make the final cut, although editor Sommer Marsden wrote, "Yours was a hard one for me because I enjoyed the story and I liked your writing, but the zombies, if you read very carefully, are really backdrop to the tale you tell." That particular anthology, she wrote, needed more "in your face" zombie characters.

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Then I submitted that short story to the Cleis Press anthology Love, Lust and Zombies, being edited by Mitzi Szereto. You may remember Mitzi Szereto from such books as Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts and In Sleeping Beauty's Bed.

I just found out yesterday that Mitzi accepted my story, titled "Wild Ones." Yay!

This is my second short story to land in a Cleis Press title. I wrote "Soaked" (based on a true story) in Best Lesbian Romance 2010.


Now, on an unrelated note, today is also Madonna's 55th birthday, so I made a playlist of some of my favorite Madonna songs.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

I Need Another Book Like I Need A Hole in the Head, But...

I wasn't going to buy any more books for a while. In May, the Amazon Vine program is changing; currently, you have to write reviews of 80% of the items you've ordered to get another two items, but in May it'll be 100%. That means by the third Thursday in May, I'll have to have read three books:

Hemingway's Girl by Erika Robuck - I'm currently on page 25, and I've got to say the heroine, Mariella, is pretty hard not to love.


The Difference a Day Makes (Perfect, Indiana: Book Two) by Barbara Longley, the sequel to Far From Perfect

The Watcher in the Shadows by Chris Moriarty, the sequel to The Inquisitor's Apprentice

...so I'll be busy reading these, and also Covet by J.R. Ward. This is the second time I've tried to read her non-Black Dagger Brotherhood series, and I just couldn't get into it. It's actually pretty good - the main character, Jim Heron, seems to be a building contractor but actually has secret assassin skills gained from covert military ops. He's like Mr. Reese on Person of Interest, but instead of a reclusive billionaire boss he's now working for mysterious supernatural beings. His first "number" is Vin diPietro, a real estate mogul who, against his wishes, is also a medium who gets flashes of when people are going to die. In seven books, Jim will battle the seven deadly sins, starting with attempting to save Vin from greed.

Covet will also hold me over until I get my hands on the book I really want, Ward's Lover at Last. I'm gonna need Qhuinn and Blaylock to get their HEA - finally. (Sidenote: Thanks to this vampire/goddess article on SecretSun.blogspot.com, I remembered that the bisexual vampire played by Catherine Deneuve in The Hunger was named Miriam Blaylock. Did J.R. Ward name her gay vampire character after Miriam?)

So my reading dance card was quite booked already when I read "The Smuttiest Fanfiction Stories Starring Highbrow Literary Characters" by Emily Temple. #8 on the list is Mitzi Szereto's Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts. #6 was the one that really got my attention, though:


"An Erotic Novel of the Count of Monte Cristo." Apparently it takes place after the end of the Dumas novel, and is about the Count and Mercedes - not the Count and Haydee. What happens to Haydee? I hope she doesn't make good on her statement that she'll die if the Count leaves her. I don't think it would be possible to exaggerate how badly I need to know what happens in this book - so I ordered it from Better World Books.

I read The Count of Monte Cristo in January. I desperately wanted the book to be longer. I read an abridged version, but even so, the ending left too many questions unanswered. Burning with questions, I read the modern sequel The Sultan of Monte Cristo by "Holy Ghost Writer." It was poorly written and unsatisfying for a huge number of reasons.

So please, Colette Gale, do not disappoint me.

Colette Gale sounds like a false name to me. Not just because Colette is a beautiful pen name in reference to the wonderful hell-raising 20th century French writer Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette who was known professionally only by her last name. (I learned the cooking term aspic from one of her short stories - but I digress.) Also because "Henry Gale" is the false name that Ben Linus initially gives the survivors on Lost - the name of Dorothy Gale's Kansas-bound uncle to go along with his Ozian tale of arriving on the island via hot air balloon. If the name "Colette Gale" is in tribute to both a beloved, prolific French author and the beloved, prolific U.S. author L. Frank Baum, then I expect a high quality of very imaginative and sensual work.

Oh, and as a nod to the title of this post, I now present for your amusement (I hope) "Call Me a Hole," a musical mash-up of the vocals from Nine Inch Nails' "Head Like a Hole" and the melody of Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe."

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Review ~ Lustfully Ever After: Fairy Tale Erotic Romance


Stopping by from the Shameless Summer Giveaway Hop? Please visit Friday's post HERE for a chance to win free books!

Lustfully Ever After: Fairy Tale Erotic RomanceLustfully Ever After: Fairy Tale Erotic Romance by Kristina Wright
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

My introduction to fairy tales written specifically for adults was Barbara G. Walker's Feminist Fairy Tales, which I read while in college and still adore 10+ years later. From that foundation, when I discovered Mitzi Szereto's In Sleeping Beauty's Bed: Erotic Fairy Tales in September 2009 - my introduction to Cleis Press titles - I was very pleasantly surprised. Szereto is the mistress of combining the cleverness of the classic fairy tale with fun, naughty adult sensibilities. Since then, I've continually been impressed with the quality of erotic short stories in Cleis Press' anthologies.

An especially talented editor of these anthologies is Kristina Wright. See, for example, Steamlust: Steampunk Erotic Romance and Dream Lover: Paranormal Tales of Erotic Romance. Since I really enjoyed 2010's Fairy Tale Lust: Erotic Fantasies for Women, I was sure I would find something enjoyable about 'Lustfully Ever After.' I was not disappointed.

The simple fact is, there is no bad story in this anthology. I have some favorites. Anna Meadows never writes an erotic short story in which I DON'T wish I were the heroine(s), so naturally, I loved "Matches." Emerald's "The Beast Within" was a magnificent beauty-and-beast tale, one sure to be a favorite of those who enjoyed Fifty Shades of Grey. Charlotte Stein's "You" is sublime and speaks directly to the witch in me. Evan Mora's "Real Boy," a transgender take on Pinocchio, has wonderful heart and soul, hot sex and a great message. Wright's contribution, "A Sea Change," is exactly the way The Awakening should have ended - less sink, more swim. Less shame, more joy.

I could go on and on, but if I were forced to choose a favorite under pain of torture, I would have to say "Steadfast" by Andrea Dale. Maybe it's just because I've got a little bit of a military fetish thing going on right now (me and Mr. James Jones - we got a thing going on), but DAMN. WOW. When I write in all caps like that, that means it was a hella powerful story, emotionally, sexually and psychologically. I tip my hat to you, Ms. Andrea Dale.

I just can't think of anything I didn't like about this book, which is why I have to give it five stars.

Disclosure: I received an uncorrected proof of this book from the publisher, unsolicited, at no cost. I was under no obligation to write this review, which represents my own honest opinion.


View all my reviews on Goodreads

Previous Cleis Press titles (fiction), reviewed on Pagan Spirits book blog:

Fairy Tale Lust
Dream Lover
Women in Lust
Steamlust: Steampunk Erotic Romance

Carnal Machines: Steampunk Erotica

Non-fiction Cleis Press titles:
Seal It With a Kiss
The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio
The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

An Interview with Mitzi Szereto!

Erin: Were you a fan of Jane Austen before you started writing Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts?

Mitzi: Yes, most definitely. And I have to credit the BBC TV adaptation of the novel for inspiring my interest in all things Austen. The series was perfection and the actors really brought to life the characters in a way that I believe will never again be achieved. What particularly appeals to me about Jane Austen is her wit and sense of satire. She points out with great cleverness the hypocrisy and ridiculousness of “society.” I bet a lot of people would love to hear what she’d have to say about our modern times!

Erin: Did you find it was easy to add erotic tension to Pride and Prejudice? Do you feel as if some of it was present in the original?

Mitzi: Yes, I did find it relatively easy. However, I should add that I wanted to keep the characters in, shall we say, character, and for their sexual hijinks to be exactly the kind of thing we’d expect them to get up to. As for erotic tension in the original, it was most definitely there, particularly between Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. Those two were buzzing with sexual tension! Lydia Bennet was also a highly sexualized character, and Austen was giving us a lot of not-so-veiled hints about her promiscuity; I just ratcheted it up to the next level. Well, several levels, actually.


Erin: Are you currently planning to bring your blend of humor and erotica to any other public domain works?

Mitzi: It’s quite possible, yes. I really enjoyed writing Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts and I hope readers enjoyed reading it, too. There has been a lot of controversy about my version, but frankly, I think these people need to get a sense of humor. The book is just a bit of good harmless fun, and in today’s world, I think we can all use some of that. As for combining humor and the erotic, I love it! People need to get a sense of humor about sex as well. Seems like everyone takes it too seriously. I say lighten up and have a laugh!

Erin: As a transplant from the U.S. to the U.K., do you feel more American or English?

Mitzi: I definitely feel more English. I never felt American, even when I lived in America. Maybe it’s the English eccentric thing that fits me, I don’t know. I definitely have more of a kinship with the English sense of humor as well. I wonder if when I grow old I’ll turn into a female version of Victor Meldrew?



Erin: You have a quirky sense of humor. Where does that come from? Other than your own writing, what do you find funny?

Mitzi: I’ve always been quirky. It’s part of my personality and has been ever since childhood, so naturally it translates into my sense of humor. I have no idea where it comes from. To be honest, I’ve never really sought anyone’s approval for what I do, so perhaps that gives me more freedom to just be myself. ­As for what I find funny, it’s quite wide-ranging, though I will say that I do not find the majority of contemporary American humor remotely funny. Just the opposite, in fact. Unfortunately, a lot of contemporary English humor is following suit, particularly with regard to television, in that they are trying to parrot the unfunny American sitcoms and crude comedians that are repeatedly shoved down our throats. I quite liked the earlier season of the League of Gentleman BBC series, but for the most part I’m a bit of a dinosaur in my tastes. I love the older English comedy series such as One Foot in the Grave and Keeping Up Appearances.

My taste in American humor goes even farther back to The Marx Brothers and those madcap comedy films from Hollywood’s Golden Era. Give me Cary Grant any day! I also enjoy Jackie Mason. Classic stuff!

Erin: Your next project, editing Red Velvet and Absinthe, an anthology of paranormal erotica, took a completely different tone. What caused you to switch gears?

Mitzi: I love switching gears. I think it would be boring to keep doing the same thing over and over. I actually had Red Velvet and Absinthe on the back burner for a number of years. I’ve always been a huge fan of Gothic fiction, and I’m surprised that I didn’t go this route a lot earlier in my writing career, though, without giving too much away, I will say that the Gothic is going to make another appearance in a future work. It was just down to luck and timing that RV&A got off that back burner and finally came to fruition. I’m really pleased with how it’s turned out. The quality of work is extremely high and each story has something different to offer. It was a pleasure working with so many talented writers.


Erin: Other than the BBC production of Pride and Prejudice, what's your favorite Colin Firth movie?

Mitzi: I have to say P&P is the absolute pinnacle of Colin Firth for me. I know he’s said that he doesn’t want to be forever known only as Mr. Darcy, but I think it’s a testament to his talent as an actor to have brought that character to life in the way he had. I’m not really keen on his comedy roles. Not that he isn’t good in them; it’s just that I prefer his more brooding side. It’s very sexy.

Links:

Author website: http://mitziszereto.com
Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts website: http://mitziszereto.com/prideandprejudicehiddenlusts/
Red Velvet and Absinthe website: http://mitziszereto.com/redvelvetandabsinthe/
Errant Ramblings: Mitzi Szereto's Weblog: http://mitziszereto.com/blog
Facebook Author Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Mitzi-Szereto/24537936152
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/mitziszereto
Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/72445.Mitzi_Szereto
Mitzi TV: http://mitziszereto.com/tv
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/mitzi_szereto

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Hidden Lusts! Compare and Contrast!

Let's look at the same passage, first in Jane Austen's original Pride and Prejudice, then in two of the mash-ups based on it. This is Jane's take on a pivotal scene between Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy:

"...While settling this point, she was suddenly roused by the sound of the door bell; and her spirits were a little fluttered by the idea of its being Colonel Fitzwilliam himself, who had once before called late in the evening, and might now come to enquire particularly after her. But this idea was soon banished, and her spirits were very differently affected, when, to her utter amazement, she saw Mr. Darcy walk into the room. In a hurried manner he immediately began an enquiry after her health, imputing his visit to a wish of hearing that she were better. She answered him with cold civility. He sat down for a few moments, and then getting up walked about the room. Elizabeth was surprised, but said not a word. After a silence of several minutes, he came towards her in an agitated manner, and thus began:--

"'In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.'

"Elizabeth's astonishment was beyond expression. She stared, coloured, doubted, and was silent. This he considered sufficient encouragement, and the avowal of all that he felt and had long felt for her immediately followed. He spoke well, but there were feelings besides those of the heart to be detailed, and he was not more eloquent on the subject of tenderness than of pride. His sense of her inferiority, of its being a degradation, of the family obstacles which judgment had always opposed to inclination, were dwelt on with a warmth which seemed due to the consequence he was wounding, but was very unlikely to recommend his suit.

"In spite of her deeply-rooted dislike, she could not be insensible to the compliment of such a man's affection, and though her intentions did not vary for an instant, she was at first very sorry for the pain he was to receive; till, roused to resentment by his subsequent language, she lost all compassion in anger. She tried, however, to compose herself to answer him with patience, when he should have done. He concluded with representing to her the strength of that attachment which, in spite of all his endeavors, he had found impossible to conquer; and with expressing his hope that it would now be rewarded by her acceptance of his hand. As he said this, she could easily see that he had no doubt of a favourable answer. He spoke of apprehension and anxiety, but his countenance expressed real security. Such a circumstance could only exasperate farther; and when he ceased, the colour rose into her cheeks, and she said,--

"'In such cases as this, it is, I believe, the established mode to express a sense of obligation for the sentiments avowed, however unequally they may be returned. It is natural that obligation should be felt, and if I could feel gratitude, I would now thank you. But I cannot--I have never desired your good opinion, and you have certainly bestowed it most unwillingly. I am sorry to have occasioned pain to any one. It has been most unconsciously done, however, and I hope will be of short duration. The feelings which you tell me have long prevented the acknowledgement of your regard can have little difficulty in overcoming it after this explanation.'

"Mr. Darcy, who was leaning on the mantel-piece with his eyes fixed on her face, seemed to catch her words with no less resentment than surprise..."

Then, in 2009, Quirk Books came out with Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, with improvements by Seth Grahame-Smith. Grahame-Smith's Elizabeth is a martial artist:

"...While settling this point, she was suddenly roused by the sound of the door bell; and her spirits were a little fluttered by the idea of its being Colonel Fitzwilliam himself, who had once before called late in the evening, and might now come to enquire particularly after her. But this idea was soon banished, and her spirits were very differently affected, when, to her utter amazement, she saw Mr. Darcy walk into the room. In a hurried manner he immediately began an enquiry after her health, imputing his visit to a wish of hearing that she were better. She answered him with cold civility, scarcely able to believe her luck at his happening by so soon, and waiting for the opportunity to excuse herself and retrieve her Katana. He sat down for a few moments, and then getting up walked about the room. Elizabeth was surprised, but said not a word. After a silence of several minutes, he came towards her in an agitated manner, and thus began:

"'In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.'

"Elizabeth's astonishment was beyond expression. She stared, coloured, doubted, and was silent. This he considered sufficient encouragement, and the avowal of all that he felt and had long felt for her immediately followed. He spoke well, but there were feelings besides those of the heart to be detailed, and he was not more eloquent on the subject of tenderness than of pride. His sense of her inferiority, of its being a degradation, of the family obstacles which judgment had always opposed to inclination, were dwelt on with a warmth which seemed due to the consequence he was wounding, but was very unlikely to recommend his suit.

"In spite of her deeply-rooted bloodlust, she could not be insensible to the compliment of such a man's affection, and though her intention of killing him did not vary for an instant, she was at first very sorry for the pain he was to receive; till, roused to resentment by his subsequent language, she lost all compassion in anger. She tried, however, to compose herself to answer him with patience, when he should have done. He concluded with representing to her the strength of that attachment which, in spite of all his endeavors, he had found impossible to conquer; and with expressing his hope that it would now be rewarded by her acceptance of his hand. As he said this, she could easily see that he had no doubt of a favourable answer. He spoke of apprehension and anxiety, but his countenance expressed real security. Such a circumstance could only exasperate farther; and when he ceased, the colour rose into her cheeks, and she said,--

"'In such cases as this, it is, I believe, the established mode to express a sense of obligation for the sentiments avowed, however unequally they may be returned. It is natural that obligation should be felt, and if I could feel gratitude, I would now thank you. But I cannot--I have never desired your good opinion, and you have certainly bestowed it most unwillingly. I am sorry to have occasioned you pain, but only sorry because it has been most unconsciously done. Before you walked through that door, I had resolved to strike you down, sir. My honor--nay, the honor of my family, demands no lesser satisfaction.'

"Elizabeth presently lifted her dress above her ankles and struck a basic crane pose, which she thought well-suited for the cramped quarters. Mr. Darcy, who was leaning on the mantel-piece with his eyes fixed on her face, seemed to catch her words with no less resentment than surprise..."

As I alluded to in a previous post, the latest mash-up is Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts. It's published by Cleis Press and improved by Mitzi Szereto, "With heartfelt appreciation to Miss Jane Austen for her kind patronage (with some additional encouragement courtesy of Mr. Colin Firth).":

"...Elizabeth was suddenly roused by the sound of the door bell; and her spirits were a little anxious that it might be Colonel Fitzwilliam. Perhaps by having compromised herself in his company, he had concluded that she was a woman of reckless morals and had come to take from her what he felt was his due. After the events of the afternoon, that he should behave in so ungentlemanly a manner would not have surprised her at all. As she readied herself to fend off his advances, to her utter amazement Mr. Darcy walked into the room.

"In a hurried manner he immediately began an enquiry after her health, imputing his visit to a wish of hearing that she were better. When Elizabeth acknowledged that she was, Darcy sat down for a few moments and then, getting up, walked about the room. His demeanor was most agitated as he came toward her and said,'In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.'

"Elizabeth's astonishment was beyond expression, and for some time she could not speak. Her silence Darcy seemed to take as encouragement, and he went on to speak eloquently of his warmth and ardor for her, though there were feelings besides those of the heart to be detailed as well. He chronicled his sense of her inferiority and that of her family, concluding his speech by representing to her the strength of that attachment which, in spite of all his endeavors, he had found impossible to conquer. In expressing to her his hope that it would be rewarded by her acceptance of his hand, he reached toward the flap of his breeches and began to unbutton it.

"Till now Elizabeth had been in such a state of disbelief at his declaration, followed by anger at his review of her circumstances, that she had not taken note of his condition. Before she could put forth a reply, Darcy released his manhood from the confines of his breeches, displaying it fully to her. As she watched, he proceeded to stroke it, his fingers moving with practiced fondness along the sleek surface, traveling from tip to base, and then back again. His member was of considerable length and girth, making it a worthy rival to that which belonged to the chorister, if indeed, not its superior, and Elizabeth very much suspected that it far surpassed even Wickham's impressive specimen. The nest of curls at the place from which it sprang were darker than those on Darcy's head and looked nearly as silken, and for a moment she imagined herself passing some very pleasant moments twining them around her fingers.

"Since Elizabeth had never before been offered a proposal of marriage, she was uncertain if this manner of courtship was at all customary. Her friend Charlotte had never spoken of Mr. Collins' application to herself; therefore she had little basis for comparison, though she could most assuredly comprehend the practical nature of a gentleman's wish to make known his every asset to a young lady on whom he had set his sights. Darcy squeezed and pulled at the length of himself with his fingers, as if compelling it to grow still larger in what appeared to be a heartfelt attempt to impress her, paying particular attention to the roll of flesh near the tip, drawing it repeatedly down to reveal to her what lay beneath. Elizabeth detected a tiny bead of moisture that had gathered there like a drop of dew on a rose petal, and she fought a curious desire to lick it away with her tongue. The image of her doing so set off such a powerful reaction in the place of her womanhood that she was required to bite down on her lip as distraction lest she took a hand to herself--or worse still, her tongue to Darcy.

"In spite of her deeply rooted dislike, Elizabeth could not be insensible to the compliment of such a man's affection, nor to the appeal of what promised to be a most excellent representative of manly pleasure-giving, though her intentions did not vary for an instant. 'In such cases as this, it is, I believe, the established mode to express a sense of obligation for the sentiments avowed, however unequally they may be returned,' she began. 'It is natural that obligation should be felt, and if I could feel gratitude, I would now thank you. But I cannot--I have never desired your good opinion, and you have certainly bestowed it most unwillingly. I am sorry to have occasioned pain to anyone.'"

I'm reading this last version right now and very much enjoying it! In some places, I miss Miss Austen's somewhat archaic prose. I also keep expecting Lady Catherine de Bourgh's ninjas. Can somebody write a mash-up of the mash-ups with both the lust and the zombies?

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Pride and Prejudice and Mitzi Szereto


Talented erotica writer Mitzi Szereto, author of In Sleeping Beauty's Bed, has a new book called Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts. It's due to be released by Cleis Press in July. Adding sex to literary classics is the newest mash-up trend, following hot on the heels of the classics + monsters trend. (And the Pride and Prejudice and Zombies movie isn't even out yet!)

Steve Hockensmith, who wrote the PPZ prequel Dawn of the Dreadfuls, says, "Thank God for Mitzi Szereto! Now the literary purists have someone new to go after with their pitchforks. Adding zombies to Pride and Prejudice was one thing, but SEX SEX SEX? It’s sacrilege! Raunchy, hilarious, subversive sacrilege…which is the best kind, of course.”

I'm looking forward to this one, but even more so, I'm looking forward to reading the sexed-up version of one of my very favorites, Wuthering Heights. Annabella Bloom assists Emily Bronte in creating Wuthering Heights: The Wild and Wanton Edition. It's been out since January, but I haven't picked up a copy yet.

My TBR list is long. The next book I'll read from Cleis Press is likely to be Carnal Machines, a collection of steampunk erotica edited by D. L. King.

Everand (Scribd): https://www.everand.com/audiobook/1039689816/The-Sisters-Bronte

Kobo, Walmart: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/audiobook/sisters-bronte-the?sId=6a01a41a-6954-46e2-92b7-715ecb984101&ssId=rkt46HsVt7MIaCMsbQc2V&cPos=1

Monday, July 5, 2010

Fairy Tale Lust, a collection of short stories from Cleis Press

We see the words "fairy tale," and we automatically think of a frivolous, fluffy piece of fantasy. Scratch the surface, however, and we learn the fairy tale contains all the stuff our dreams and nightmares are made of, all the stuff of life: birth, death, love, lust, starvation, humiliation, triumph, victory, and defeat. Like our cherished religious mythologies, fairy tales tell us who we are at our very centers and what we might need...or secretly desire. It's only appropriate, then, that fairy tales grow up with us, and make the transition to our adult bedtime stories.


Cleis Press seems to be particularly talented in this field. First Cleis brought us Mitzi Szereto's In Sleeping Beauty's Bed, a fun collection of naughty fairy tales set in a faraway land of a long time ago. Fairy Tale Lust is something different. Yes, some of the tales are set in a faraway land of long, long ago, but there are also contemporary tales so realistically told they might be happening next door, right now.

It's nearly impossible to pick a favorite from among this seductive collection of folkloric fantasies. "How the Little Mermaid Got Her Tail Back" is as beguiling as a siren. "Three Times" is breathtaking. "The Return" is a special kind of verbal enchantment, as is editor Kristina Wright's "In the Dark Woods," a modern-day morality play that plays out on a mattress. Cute comes into this fairy tale collection: see, for example, Jeremy Edwards' twist on Goldilocks and the Three Bears. More often than not, though, cute is merely an enticing cover for the hidden well of deep, dark human fantasy.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

In Sleeping Beauty's Bed: Bawdy Fairy Tales by Mitzi Szereto

Pure, naughty fun: Mitzi Szereto's multicultural fractured fairy tales (Cleis Press, 2009) aren't for kids, but they are the kind you could read out loud in a pub to amuse your friends. In that, they resemble the oral versions of classic tales told around campfires in ages past. (Along with the tales, the author also includes a brief introduction giving some information about the story's origin.) Like the ale-soaked storytellers of old, Srezeto injects a good dose of humor into each bawdy yarn. She retells European fairy tales, including "Little Red Riding Hood" and "Rapunzel," but also ventures into Middle Eastern and Asian fairy tales, giving each a unique, humorous twist undreamt-of by the original tellers. This book will sit comfortably on my personal bookshelf in between Feminist Fairy Tales and The Virago Book of Erotic Myths and Legends.

One note: very sensitive readers may wish to bypass "Michel Michelkleiner's Good Luck," as it contains scenes of violence some may find offensive.