That Much Closer to Eternity

So as I'm reading From Here to Eternity, one of the few remaining actors therein, Ernest Borgnine, decided to die. I'm not happy about this. I haven't even gotten to the part of the book that contains his character, Sgt. "Fatso" Judson. I don't even know if he's a good guy, a bad guy, or a chopped salad of mixed good and evil bits (which is what most James Jones characters actually seem to be). Now when I finish the book and reward myself by watching the movie, I'll have to watch it thinking, "Oh, Ernest Borgnine's poor family and friends - they must miss him terribly." Stupid reality! Stop intruding on my enjoyment of fictional characters.

The principle actors - Montgomery Clift as Prew, Donna Reed as Lorene, Deborah Kerr as Karen Holmes and Burt Lancaster as Milt Warden - are all dead. Long dead, in the case of Montgomery Clift. He had multiple addiction issues and died young, in his 40s.

But look at him: he's so beautiful.



There's something else about this cool Nebraska guy - according to Patricia Bosworth, who wrote a biography of Clift, he was one of my people, the bisexuals. Maybe not the best example of a happy, well-adjusted bi, but still - I shall now picture him ascended to bisexual heaven, where he shall sit at the right hand of James Dean, amen.



The quote that accompanied this photo, when I found it on Pinterest, was, "I don't want to be labeled as either a pansy or a heterosexual. Labeling is so self-limiting. We are what we do, not what we say we are."

...and with that quote (which may or may not be accurate - don't trust the Internet), I am completely in love with him.

Well, I'd better go to bed now. Montgomery Clift, please get in my dreams.

Hooker Please ~ Prostitutes in Literature

On account of reading and writing so much about prostitution lately, I threatened HERE to write this blog post, and now I did. I don't judge people for non-monogamy or for having jobs in sex work, but just for the record, I categorically oppose human trafficking, forced prostitution of any kind and the sexual exploitation of minors.

The two former prostitutes I've known in my life were both recovering drug users, and their sex work was directly related to their addictions. This doesn't apply to any of the five characters you'll read about below - obviously, for artistic purposes, there's a bit of a disconnect between reality and fiction.

I warn you, a spoiler is coming up for Mockingjay, so don't continue unless you've finished the entire Hunger Games trilogy.

Prostitutes in Literature I've Read Recently

1. A Hu-Li, The Sacred Book of the Werewolf by Victor Pelevin. A Hu-Li is a supernatural kitsune, a fox shape-shifter. Owing to her supernatural ability to influence human minds, she never actually has to physically touch her clients. Until she starts falling in love, A Hu-Li is, paradoxically, a virgin prostitute, at least in the sense that she’s never had intercourse in her unnaturally long life.

2. Lorene (Alma Schmidt), From Here to Eternity by James Jones (currently reading). Lorene is Alma Schmidt’s “house name” at the Honolulu brothel The New Congress Hotel. She’s a native of Oregon who told her mother she was going to Hawaii for a few years to work as a secretary. Alma has a legitimate reason for wanting to earn her own money: she doesn’t want to have to depend on a man. The first night Robert E. Lee Prewitt meets her, he’s in love. She won’t marry him because, in order to preserve her reputation to the extent that no one would ever believe she’d been a prostitute, she intends to marry a high-status husband.

3. Finnick Odair, Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins. Mockingjay is a war novel, and many outrages happen therein, but few upset me as much as Finnick’s fate as a 17-year-old Hunger Games victor. In Catching Fire, Finnick’s flirtatious nature made him seem like he was overly confident, cocky and proud. In Mockingjay, we learn his sexualized way of relating to other people is the result of exploitation from the Capitol – he was literally pimped out to wealthy male and female clients. Unlike Alma, Finnick gets to marry his true love, Annie, who is pregnant when Finnick is killed in battle.

Sidebar: What do Katniss Everdeen and Robert E. Lee Prewitt have in common? They look somewhat similar - tall and slim, with an olive complexion. They both come from a coal mining area, and both had coal miner fathers. Prew drinks like Haymitch, though.

4. Sophie-Anne Leclerq, Definitely Dead by Charlaine Harris. 1,100-year-old French teen Sophie-Anne Leclerq is a recurring character in Harris' Southern Vampire Mysteries series, until her true death. Definitely Dead is the book in which the heroine Sookie Stackhouse hears Sophie-Anne’s tale. As a mortal human, Sophie-Anne was the sole survivor of a wave of plague that destroyed her village. When she met up with other human beings again, they exploited her and put her to work as a prostitute. Her callous treatment by other humans is some of the reason why the vampire queen of Louisiana is so cold and calculating, a terrifying and powerful woman.

5. Myrtle,The Seven Descents of Myrtle(also known as Kingdom of Earth) by Tennessee Williams. I didn't actually read this one; via Kala's (TheDorkMistress') Tumblr, I heard this recording of the short story/dramatic monologue being read by Tom Hiddleston. Tom Hiddleston is one of the stars of Tumblr, beloved by fangirls everywhere for his portrayal of the comic book villain/Norse god Loki in the movies Thor and The Avengers. Hiddleston narrates the story as "Chicken," the character who steals his half-brother Lot's new wife, Myrtle.

(This is an odd image of Loki, but it resonates with the "seven descents" in the title - Dance of the Seven Veils, get it? But then again, in Norse mythology, Loki is sometimes female. He/she gives birth - the wolf-monster Fenrir, who may or may not appear as a character in The Sacred Book of the Werewolf, is one of the offspring of which Loki is the mother.*)

Myrtle and Chicken have a long, philosophical talk in which she describes being sexually harassed and then raped by her boss as a young teen. Despite the violence of her experience, she learned that she liked the sexual act itself* and became a prostitute as well as a showgirl before marrying Lot. Lot, afflicted with tuberculosis,is a pathetic figure; Myrtle married him largely out of pity. Lot calls Myrtle’s name all night while she’s up in the attic making love to Chicken, and in the morning the two come down to find Lot dead.

Prostitutes in Literature I Haven't Read

For this, I've enlisted the aid of the trusty New York Public Library Literature Companion. I feel as if there should be some character who comes immediately to mind when I think of literary prostitutes, and I’m having a brain cramp and just not thinking of him or her. Help me out here, blogosphere – who else belongs on this list?

-- Moll Flanders, The Fortunes and Misfortunes of the Famous Moll Flanders by Daniel Defoe. Being a prostitute is counted among Moll Flanders’ misfortunes. Later in her life, she becomes rich, repents, and dies an honest woman. Stupid Flanders. 

-- Lulu, Pandora’s Box by Frank Wedekind. Lulu is the classic literary femme fatale – she literally causes the deaths of those around her. Like Moll Flanders, she grew up on the streets. In her declining years, Lulu is reduced to prostitution, and her final client is Jack the Ripper. Louise Brooks played Lulu in a 1929 silent film.

-- Maureen Wendall,Them by Joyce Carol Oates. Maureen is the daughter of Howard and Loretta Wendall, a working-class couple. Howard, a police officer, is once busted for taking money from prostitutes. After his death, Loretta relies too heavily on her young daughter to take care of her, and Maureen works as a prostitute to build an escape fund. Her stepfather finds out and beats her, resulting in a nervous breakdown. Maureen’s older half-brother, Jules, sexually abuses and pimps out a woman. So, typical Joyce Carol Oates: heavy, depressing dysfunction all around.

I do not volunteer to read any of these things. 'Specially not J.C.O. I'm still traumatized by "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been."

*Corrected here: http://erinoriordan.blogspot.com/2012/07/the-loki-in-lughnasa.html

Guest Post: by Sean Jameson ~ 5 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life

I don't like to be the bearer of bad news, but that initial spark in your relationship will almost always eventually fade. If you are just starting a new relationship with someone, you may think that the excitement you both feel about getting sexual with each will never go away. The truth is that it will unfortunately always slowly go away :(

Thankfully, these 5 different sex tips and ideas will show you what to do to prevent that spark of excitement dying.

1. Learn Some New Sex Positions As your relationship progresses, you will start to discover which sex positions you both enjoy most. This is great! The only problem with though is that many couples find themselves only using between 3 and 7 different sex positions. These are usually missionary, cowgirl and doggystyle or a variation of it. Now there's nothing wrong with this. It's just that when sex becomes a routine, you will eventually become bored of it. Instead I strongly advise people to experiment and learn as many new sex positions as possible to try with their partner. And I'm not talking about crazy, 'you-need-to-be-super-flexible' positions either. There are literally hundreds of easy to perform positions that you can try out with your man. I have even created a whole section devoted to this on the Bad Girl's Bible.

2. Roleplaying Roleplaying with your partner is a wonderful way open up more sexual avenues in your relationship. The fabulous thing about roleplaying is that it's a safe way to explore your fantasies with your significant other. Hopefully this list of potential fantasies to try out with your man gives you some ideas on the possibilities.

 - School girl/boy and headmaster/headmistress who has to deliver some discipline
 - Doctor and patient
 - Nurse and patient
 - Prison officer and prisoner
 - Secretary and boss
 - Master & Slave who needs punishment
 - Becoming a swashbuckling pirate
 - Rich independent woman and penniless man (don't forget to switch roles too!)

There are hundreds of roleplays that you can try out, these are just a few of the more popular ones to give you an idea of the possibilities.



3. Get Outside! The bedroom is the default location for sex for most people. But some more adventurous people like to have sex all around the house, whether it's in the kitchen or in the bathroom or even on the stairs. But if you want to take it to the next level, then I highly recommend that you try having sex outside in the open. When I say outside, I don't actually mean 'outside where you can get caught'. While many find the thought of getting caught by someone else while having sex to be thrilling, it's not something that I advise. So avoid places where you are both likely to get caught (i.e. anywhere in a city, public parks, etc.) When I say have sex outside, I mean that you should try it in places where it's just the 2 of you, alone, with almost no chance of either of you being caught or seen by others, but in a location that is beautiful. This could be by a lake early in the morning, on a beach under the stars or deep inside a forest where you can moan and groan as loud as you like without fear of being caught.

4. Don't Forget About Handjobs Whenever I get questions about sex, it usually boils down to just one of 3 things: "Teach me some new sex positions!", "How can I give a great blowjob?" or "How do I talk dirty?" One question that I rarely get, but that guys love their partner to do is giving them a handjob. Giving a great handjob is thankfully quite easy as described here. But for those who want the quick start guide, these 4 steps will get you started in the right direction:

 - Start by grabbing him around the base of his shaft. Rub it up and down for between 10 seconds and a minute.
 - Then move your hand towards the head of his penis (that's the purple part). Start stroking this part of his penis upwards and downwards, making sure that that he can feel each finger move upwards and downwards over the ridge of skin where the head joins the shaft (it's called the Corona). This will give him a lot of pleasurable stimulation.
 - Alternate between the first 2 handjob techniques, then every once in a while, lower your hand(s) to his testicles and grab them softly, then start massaging them. Remember that your man is really sensitive down here, so be careful not to accidentally hurt him by being too rough.
 - While using a combination of the 3 techniques above, you should also vary the speed at which you give your man a handjob. Start off slowly, then speed up, slow down, speed up again until he reaches orgasm and then as he starts cumming slow down again.

5. What To Do When You're Not Around If you want to keep your sex life exciting even when you are not with your partner, then there are a few really cool things that you can do. - Send each other dirty texts a few times during the week. Make sure to do it randomly so they are unexpected and out of the blue. It could be a saucy statement like, "Was thinking about your ass during work and it's making me hard (or wet)!" or "I can't wait to fuck you later." Or it could be a question like, "Would you prefer me to go down on you later or would you like a nice long massage?" - The same goes for when you are on the phone. Just let your significant other know what you are thinking of. You could say something that's not too dirty like, "I wish you were here right now." or "You are making me so hard/wet just listening to your voice." My name is Sean Jameson and you can learn more about me on my website.

Song in the Wrong Key ~ Simon Lipson Guest Post

Thank you for asking me to contribute a post.

Let’s be clear. I’m a man. A British man. British men don’t talk about sex, even when we’re doing it.  It’s awkward, embarrassing, unseemly, so much so that we go red just thinking about it. Unless we’re hopelessly drunk, in the pub, with our equally pissed drinking buddies and spinning stories about our conquests. ‘I laid that girl from the 99p Shop.’ Bald facts; no details. We omit the tender stuff and focus on the bawdy boasts. It’s about how ‘fit’ she was, how many times you did it, how ‘dirty’ she was. And, in this desperate attempt to impress, the lying gets out of hand. If put to the test, none of it would…ahem…stand up. British men are comfortable with the cheeky seaside postcard version of sex, the double entendres, not the reality. So, against this background of buttoned-up British maleness, I had to steel myself when the subject of sex…ahem again…came up in my book.

In Song In The Wrong Key, the protagonist, Mike Kenton, is married to the beautiful Lisa, but their sex life has long since stagnated. It only raises its head when Lisa comes home from work stressed and prickly and in need of some release. Like a lot of men in long relationships, Mike has learned to treat sex with a take-it-or-leave-it attitude. Nice when it happens, but not essential. More important to him are his family unit, his comfy middle class existence, a good supply of chocolate and watching the football on TV. When writing the sex scenes, I avoided the graphic detail. I do understand that many readers enjoy the titillating detail; maybe some of them get off on it. And I certainly dealt with sex in a more graphic fashion in my first book, Losing It. But that was a dark psychological thriller and the tone somehow allowed for it. Song In The Wrong Key is a piece of contemporary humorous romantic fiction and, while I mention various sexual encounters, I’m more interested in describing the mood surrounding them rather than erect nipples, loaded testicles and sexual secretions. To be honest, it was less a case of feeling embarrassed about writing it (even knowing my teenage daughters would read it) than feeling that it didn’t fit with the tenor of the book. How could I slip into a serious description of intercourse against a backdrop of sarcasm and comic riffing?

When Mike is made redundant and finds himself sitting at home on his own with very little motivation, his increasingly fruitless internet search for a new job soon becomes demoralising and it’s only a few clicks from a recruitment website to www.analpleasures.com. He’s a man, and what follows is natural. But I think I’ve described it with typical British reserve and an eye for the silliness and embarrassment that comes with middle aged self-pleasuring. It’s a guilty secret. Again, there are no graphic details, merely the fact of his recurrent visits to sites with which he becomes all too familiar.

I hope Song In The Wrong Key will make you laugh, cry and root for the hero. It’s about real life, real people and real situations. If you’re after romance, it’s all there. If erotica’s your thing…well, I still hope you’ll enjoy it. You just might need to look elsewhere for your kicks!

Song In The Wrong Key Blurb

Michael Kenton is a middle-aged man living in middle-class comfort with wife Lisa and daughters Millie and Katia. Drifting complacently towards retirement, Mike's world is turned upside-down when he is thrown unexpectedly onto the career scrapheap. 

While Lisa's career sky-rockets, Mike slobs around in his track suit playing guitar, rekindling his teenage love affair with pop music. Knowing Lisa wouldn't approve, he plots a secret 'comeback' at a grimy Crouch End bistro where music executive Ben, desperate and out of time, asks if he can enter one of Mike's songs into the Eurovision Song Contest. With nothing to lose, Mike focuses on Eurovision but quickly finds himself staring down the barrel of low level fame. His crumbling marriage now page five news, he must choose between his musical dream and mending his broken family, a task complicated by the re-appearance of ex-love of his life Faye. 

A laugh-out-loud comedy about love, family, friendship and Euro- tack by acclaimed stand-up and comedy writer Simon Lipson. 

Simon Lipson Bio

Simon Lipson was born in London and took a law degree at the LSE. After a spell as a lawyer, he co-founded legal recruitment company Lipson Lloyd-Jones in 1987. In 1993, Simon took his first tentative steps onto the comedy circuit and has since become an in-demand stand-up and impressionist across the UK, as well as a regular TV and radio performer/writer. His broadcasting credits include Week Ending, Dead Ringers, Loose Ends and Fordham & Lipson (co-wrote and performed own 4 part sketch series) on Radio 4; Interesting...Very Interesting and Simon Lipson's Xmas Box on Radio 5 and And This Is Them on Radio 2. He is also an experienced voice artiste who has voiced hundreds of advertisements as well as cartoons and documentaries. His first novel, Losing It, a thriller, was published by Matador in 2008. Simon is a columnist for Gridlock Magazine (www.gridlockmagazine.com).His next novel, Standing Up, will be published by Lane & Hart in Autumn 2012. 

www.songinthewrongkey.com

www.simonlipson.com

http://www.facebook.com/simon.lipson.3 

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Song-In-The-Wrong-Key-Simon-Lipson/140280092721031; 

Twitter: @SimonLipson

www.simonlipson.blogspot.co.uk

Buy links – paperback and Kindle:

Amazon.co.uk: http://amzn.to/xaosKp

Amazon.com: http://amzn.to/yo7bpY

My show, The Accidental Impressionist, is on at the Camden Fringe 20 – 23 August @ 8pm. Everyone welcome! Details and tickets here: http://j.mp/JDPBnu  

WIP Wednesday ~ Status Updates, and Donna Reed is a Hooker

Authors needed - all genres! Are you an author who'd like to share a 100- to 200-word blurb about a current work in progress on a future WIP Wednesday? If so, please send an e-mail to Erin O'Riordan (erinoriordan AT sbcglobal DOT net).




Happy Wednesday/U.S. Independence Day! Today I'll be at the movies, watching Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.   I really liked the book by Seth Grahame-Smith - sometimes I would forget I was reading fiction and think I was reading history. Although I was severely disappointed with Grahame-Smith's screenplay for Dark Shadows, Vamchoir gave ALVH a good review. 

Here's where last week's works in progress stand:

"Sheep Shifter:" Final edits turned in. I have a release date for Breathless Press' Ravaged anthology: August 3, 2012. 

"Going Native:" Still in editing. I've got the existing material editing, but I still have to add a second sex scene. 

St. James' Day: Editing continues. We haven't written any new scenes in the past week, but we'll have to get back to it soon.

"Gold Lipstick at the End of the Rainbow" (my tribute to a now-defunct GLBTQ bar): Written, edited and sent off to my editor at SexIs. Next, I'm planning an article about the difference between bisexual and pansexual. 

Billy's Color Palette: I haven't touched it this week; I think Ken Charles is working on his next chapter. We're alternating. 

Untitled short story: I haven't done anything else with that one over the week. Between Valerie Alexander's story in Suite Encounters, working on "Going Native," doing some preliminary writing on the untitled short and reading From Here to Eternity, it seems I've been heavily into prostitutes-in-literature. I'm planning to write a blog post devoted entirely to that. I'm going to call it "Hooker Please!" in honor of Lafayette on True Blood.

300 or so pages into From Here to Eternity (weighing in at a total of 861 pages), Robert E. Lee Prewitt has fallen in love with Lorene, who is a prostitute. He only met her once before he decided he was in love - the way she held his hand convinced him he was special to her. Then she actually kissed him! Then he gambled away his entire paycheck trying to earn enough to spend another night with her! I've never seen the movie - I'll finish the book first - but I am a bit surprised that Lorene is played by Donna Reed. Donna Reed's name is virtually synonymous with wholesome family entertainment, yet here she is as a hooker.

Lorene's a good person. I like her; she's a much more sympathetic female character than Karen Holmes. Milt Warden thinks he's falling in love with Karen, but I don't know. I still say their affair is just both of them trying to get back at Karen's husband, Dana "Dynamite" Holmes. Lorene has sex for money, but Karen is just a ho. 

In her defense, though, Karen's marriage is lousy, she's been treated poorly (it's not explicitly spelled out, but she has a scar apparently from some kind of surgery she had to have after her husband gave her an STD. We know from Prew's experience with his New York society girl that antibiotics were a fairly recent development at the time. The pre-antibiotics treatment sounded fairly medieval) and she's using her sexuality as a weapon and a self-defense mechanism. 

I can't believe she slept with Maylon Stark, though. Stark, the mess sergeant from Texas, is antiSemitic (there are all kinds of perfectly legitimate reasons to hate Bloom. Bloom is a dick, but it's not because he's Jewish) and homophobic. I sincerely hope that Maylon Stark doesn't go on to become the wealthy war industrialist who fathers Tony Stark, a.k.a. Iron Man. 

(This is how you girl it up Iron Man-style.) 

An interesting (pleasantly bizarre) crossover would be if Lorene turned out to be the same woman/immortal as Bill Compton's maker Lorena. Envision a graphic novel titled Pearl Harbor Vampire Brothel. Aw yeah.

Vagina, Vagina, Vagina

Yesterday I mentioned the Michigan lawmaker who banned a female colleague, Rep. Lisa Brown, from speaking because she used the word "vagina" during debate over an abortion bill.



The subject has been quite eloquently addressed by bloggers including Shah Wharton and Guerrilla Mom. Shah suggests you experience Eve Ensler's The Vagina Monologues in book form or in performance, and I wholeheartedly agree.

This post is all about vaginal pride.



This post is about not fearing the word "vagina," or the body part it represents. This post is about letting women be women. (This is from Shah's post.)



Sometimes vaginas get angry. (This is from Guerrilla Mom's post.) Think of "fear" here in the old-fashioned sense of "respect, awe," as in the expression "fear of the Lord." That's the proper attitude for approaching the subject of the sacred yoni.



Sometimes vaginas can be sweet, too. And sexy. Very sexy.



You know what vaginas shouldn't be? Silenced, in the Michigan state legislature or anywhere else. "Vagina" is anatomically correct, like clitoris, elbow, patella, penis, coccyx, vulva, larynx. If "vagina" is too formal and stuffy for you, use "pussy" or "cunt." Use them lovingly, adoringly, respectfully.



Use them loudly.

Tomorrow is U.S. Independence Day, but to paraphrase Bill Pullman in the movie Independence Day, this could be our vaginas' independence day.

Red, White and Blue Monday, Independence Edition

On Mondays I hook up with Pinning! at A Night Owl Blog/Baxtron{Life}. On Wednesday, it's Oh, How Pinteresting! at The Vintage Apple.  

Need something red, white, blue and sexy to read this Independence Day week? Try "Bomb Pop." It's only $1.50 for your e-reader. 

Now, continuing with our Memorial Day theme, I bring you the U.S. Independence Day pin-ups. Using a Bomb Pop as a fashion accessory is Ms. Kate Upton. Her uncle Fred is a lawmaker from Michigan, but not the one who can't stand to hear the word "vagina." 



Speaking of suggestively phallic-shaped objects...



If it's not too hot where you live, this could be your perfect July 4th outfit.

Or this.

Ms. Emma Stone, whom I loved in The Help and Easy A ('cause I'm always up for a riff on The Scarlet Letter, and if it works in some Huck Finn, so much the better!), knows how to rock a 4th of July ensemble. 

Maybe I just think this because my hubby, Tit Elingtin, was in the Navy back in the day, but guys can also rock the hot sailor look.

Of course, the ladies can do it pretty decently, too.

I love the curves on this Army pin-up girl. Her old-school stockings are way cute, too. 

Happy Independence Day! What are YOU pinning?