K.C. Lauer's 'Bad Girl Gone Mom' is not your average recovery memoir

K.C. Lauer opens Bad Girl Gone Mom, her memoir of drug and alcohol addiction and recovery, with an author's note referencing James Frey's A Million Little Pieces. Lauer's harrowing and ultimately hopeful depiction of her earlier life may remind some of Frey's memoir, though Lauer attests she's done her best to fact-check where possible. Given the obstacles she's had to overcome, Lauer's memoir could be no one else's but her own.

Lauer was born with a cleft palate, a condition that wasn't discovered until after her parents left the hospital with her. Somehow her doctors wouldn't notice until Lauer's teen years that she was also born with vaginal agenesis, an underdeveloped vaginal canal. In Lauer's case, she had no vaginal opening. One had to be surgically created. Lauer writes poignantly of her sense of being a sexless being turned into an artificial woman, created expressly for the purpose of male pleasure. By the time she had her surgery at age 15, Lauer no longer considered herself a virgin; she and a boyfriend had been having interstitial intercourse without knowing any better. Still, she felt violated and offended at the thought of having to use a set of plastic vaginal dilators (dildos, essentially) until, as her doctors liked to put it, she got married.

She had already turned to drugs and alcohol to ease the pain of being different. After Lauer's surgery, she added promiscuity to her list of self-destructive behaviors. I don't mean that to sound negative toward teenage sexuality in general. Some teens have sex because they enjoy it or because they fall in love, but Lauer wasn't one of them. She seemed to be out to prove to the world that she was a "real" woman in the only way she could figure out how to. This led her into destructive relationships, two bad marriages, sexual abuse and generally being used.

As one can guess from the title, Lauer got pregnant and had a daughter, despite the uterine complications that are sometimes associated with vaginal agenesis. Her transformation was slow and, at times, painful, but eventually she transitioned from recovering addict to responsible parent.

Lauer suggests this book be shared with teens who might be headed down the same self-destructive path. It's not what would typically be considered a "young adult" book. It contains explicit depictions of sexual acts, including acts in the context of a Dominant-submissive relationship. However, mature teens who struggle with drug use, alcohol addiction or abusive relationships may relate to Lauer and learn from her experience.

The best pull-out quote from Bad Girl Gone Mom is this one: "I already knew that I loved words, but I discovered that I loved words about sex even more."

Disclosure: I received a free copy of this e-book from the author in exchange for this review. I was not otherwise compensated.

https://amzn.to/3Uzusnd

Art, Caramel Corn and Murder with Jodi Webb (guest post)

“I bet you could kill somebody with that wooden oar.”

My teenage daughter, accustomed to my murderous musing, practiced the “I’m not with her--I don’t even know who she is” tactic by silently moving away from me and staring off into the distance as we stood in line for the most delicious caramel popcorn at the beach. But the man in front of us in line was not ready for murder questions as he waited for his snack. He casually glanced back at me, eyeing me from my flip flops to my sunglasses, perhaps checking for dangerous weapons. All I had was a plastic caramel corn bucket, ready for refilling. I smiled, hopefully in a non-crazy and non-threatening manner. Maybe not. He hustled his wife closer to the group in front of them in the long, slow moving line.

I’m writing a murder mystery. It all hinges on the history of some very interesting characters and an unusual piece of art. The murder itself is standard stuff…the church deacon is bonked over the head with a heavy wooden picture frame. As I’ve been editing this story it occurred to me that next time it would be fun to have a really outrageous murder. So lately I’ve been seeing murder everywhere and testing out the possible scenarios on my family. Verbally, of course.

Finally it’s our turn out the caramel corn window. I shove our container at the frantic looking college kid and, instead of moving on to the pick-up window, pause.
“Can I ask you a favor?” I can see my daughter’s eye roll heavenward.

The college kid stops, holding my container. “What?” Favors are not something he’s used to dealing with on the job.

“I’ve been writing a murder mystery.”

“Oooo-Kaaaay.”

“And it just occurred to me that those oars would make a perfect murder weapon.” I point toward the three sweaty college kids behind him stirring gigantic vats of caramel and popcorn. He turns and looks. For what feels like a long time. Or maybe he’s just too freaked out to look back at me.

“So is it okay if I take a couple of photos of the place?”

“Huh?” He turns back. I’m waving my camera at him. He steps into a corner, leaving me a clear view. “Go for it.” So I do. Click, click, click. I can picture the metal shelving lining the walls tumbling noisily to the floor. A puddle of melted caramel slowly making its way across the tiled floor. A murderer sneaking out the only door in the place.

So tell me, when you read a murder mystery do you prefer a complicated backstory leading to an uninspired method of murder or a wild and crazy murder with a predictable motive?

Jodi Webb is still working on her murder mystery, when she isn’t organizing WOW Blog Tours at www.wow-womenonwriting.com. You can read about her writing adventures as well as her reviews and giveaways of books at Words by Webb. This week she’s giving away FM for Murder by Patricia Rockwell and Twice A Spy by Keith Thompson.

A Post Blogged by an Idiot, Full of Sound and Fury, Signifying Nothing

Melange Books has released The Smell of Gas, an erotic, pulp-style crime thriller by your humble author and her husband Tit Elingtin. It's available now in print and e-book formats. I don't want to blog about it here, though. I already blogged about it today on Breaking In Before Breaking Down. I would rather blog about...breakfast.

It was a fine, sunny morning in my home town this morning, so Tit Elingtin walked over to our usual breakfast spot, then went on a 3-mile walk along the river. I had the pancake special, chocolate chip pancakes. Delicious. Along with the chunks of candy in my breakfast, I was also treated to a hunk of eye candy, a guy at a table across from us who looked just like Sam Worthington. (I wish I had a Hunk du Jour photo to link to, but somehow HdJ has managed to miss the Aussie stunner.) Well, almost just like - this guy's hair was a little redder.

Many of you will remember Sam Worthington from Avatar. I like to remember him from Terminator: Salvation, because, well, I just like to think about Christian Bale.

I also like to remember Sam Worthington's interpretation of MacBeth. Those who love Claire and Leo in the contemporary telling of Romeo + Juliet (may Pete Postlethwaite rest in peace - best Friar Laurence ever!) will enjoy the 2006 version of MacBeth starring Worthington. I like the sexy, redheaded Scottish witches. They're like a trio of soothsaying Shirley Mansons.



This weekend I have rented, but have not yet watched, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead. Should be a good one, though. It has Hamlet, vampires and a score by Sean Lennon. So far, the best film take I've seen on the Hamlet story remains Royal Deceit, with Gabriel Byrne, Kate Beckinsale and Christian Bale. Not just Christian Bale, but a NAKED TEENAGE Christian Bale. Best Shakespearean version? I like Ethan Hawke's attempt. Julia Stiles is a particularly charming Ophelia.

Do not get me started on the Mel Gibson version of Hamlet. I will no longer watch films with that anti-Semitic, misogynistic douchebag. Except maybe Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome; Mel is canceled out by Tina Turner, feminist icon supreme and possible reincarnation of ancient Egyptian woman-pharaoh Hatshepsut.

Sooooo anyway, Sam Worthington's redder-haired doppelganger sat in the restaurant, eating sausages off a fork in a way that would make an erotica writer with an active imagination think impure thoughts. In stepped a cute woman with a ponytail, approximately Sam 2's age, and I thought they would make a good couple. They would have adorable babies. Because, you know, babies are what you're supposed to be thinking about when it's a warm spring day, you're surrounded by egg and bunny decorations and everybody's getting ready to celebrate Ostara.

I would like to have some brilliant post connecting the Pagan celebration of Ostara with Jewish Passover and Christian Easter, since Passover was this week and it is Easter weekend. I don't. I have this, a post blogged by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. (I promise you a worthy Beltane post on May 1.) Buy a copy of The Smell of Gas!

https://amzn.to/49Sd9SB

'Spirit of the Horse: The New Myths of Equus' reviewed by Carol Upton

Forgive me for being a total 8-year-old girl for a moment, but is this not the most beautiful book cover you've seen all day? I'm a little biased, though. I wasn't raised around horses myself, being a city gal, but my grandfather's brother is a rancher. My father is a horseman, and though he lives in the city too he volunteers every week at Reins of Life, the nonprofit therapeutic horseback riding organization. He was once quoted in a magazine article as saying, "I love that place; horses are my own personal therapy. I learn something new every day and I'm challenged. Horses are so smart. They can even figure out how to open gates." ~Erin

Spirit of the Horse
The New Myths of Equus
Carole Devereux
Windhorse Press
Soft Cover, 2010, $24.00 U.S.
ISBN: 978-1-884422-24-9
Available at Amazon

Reviewed by Carol M. Upton: www.dreamsaloud.ca

Animals have the capacity and the power to expand their minds into extraordinary states of consciousness.  My horses have often shown their otherworldly journeys into The Dreamtime to me.  Buddy once told me that he can "feel" the hoof beats of his species running all over the Earth. ~ Carole Devereux

This graceful and timely book takes us on a transformational journey like no other, to the mystic world where the spirit of the horse resides. Carole Devereux introduces a rich language for concepts we may have felt while working with horses, but have been unable to articulate.

Animal-lovers know they can communicate, to one degree or another, with their animals, and there have been many books written on this subject. Devereux guides us beyond that familiar landscape, advancing our understanding of equine perspective and unlocking the endless possibilities present when we truly listen to what horses are saying.

Spirit of the Horse examines the early life of horses, from Eohippus through the Stone Age, and the ancient relationships horses had with human beings. Devereux reminds us that historically, we depended on communion with animals in order to live, much of that wisdom forgotten as we began to exploit resources and work within a paradigm known as “dominion over the earth”. Today, we are moving back to the lessons of nature, and animals, particularly horses, are here to help.

These lessons are evident in the hidden treasures of equus mythology as narrated by Devereux’s horses Buddy and Ellie. Through the myths, we begin to feel the emotional and spiritual impact of horses on our lives. Now, a series of guided visualizations gently assists us to explore our own stories of connection, truth, and healing.

One of the most revealing chapters covers the Yogic system of India, discussing how Yogic practices can help both horse and rider unite body and mind in their work together. We may already know that horses are experts at reading energy, but how do we use this knowledge in our riding? The answers are here.

Spirit of the Horse demonstrates that horses can tell us much more than we have dreamed and can lead us along paths of continuous spiritual growth. Reading it stirs us emotionally, significantly uplifts our souls, and leaves us hungry for more.

Carole Devereux is an internationally known Animal Communicator, spiritual life coach and teacher. She has more than fifteen years experience counseling thousands of people and their animals across North America and Europe. Visit Carole at www.animalinsights.com and learn more about Spirit of the Horse at: www.spirit-of-the-horse.com.

'The Smell of Gas' Virtual Book Tour

On April 23, 2011, Melange Books (formerly Midnight Showcase) will release the erotic crime thriller The Smell of Gas, co-written by Erin O'Riordan and Tit Elingtin. We launched the first sneak peek at Chris Redding's blog on March 28. On April 26, the Smell of Gas Virtual Book Tour kicks into high gear. The Virtual Book Tour is still adding dates, so look for updates soon. The tour schedule so far:

Tuesday, April 26 - De's Stories

Friday, April 29 - Jen Wylie's Blog

Friday, April 29 through Sunday, May 1 - Words in Sync

Saturday, April 30 - Nights of Passion (with other Melange authors!)

Thurs. May 5 - Silver and Grace (for a change of pace, a Mother's Day post)

Saturday, May 7 - Jenny Hilborne's blog

Tuesday, May 31 - Tour wrap-up at AO Bibliosphere

Date TBD:
An Author's Tale
My Hot Sex Storys

An interview with author Judith Marshall

Judith, do you have pleasant memories of living in Napa Valley? My parents moved from St. Helena to Concord, CA, before I was two so I don’t remember being born there. But I only live an hour away and I love visiting as often as possible. I love driving by the old house and wondering what my life would have been like had we stayed. It’s such a beautiful little town.

What has been the most significant book you've read (or listened to, if you were a small child) in your life? I loved The Other Side of Midnight by Sidney Sheldon. I’ve probably re-read it ten times over the years.

How did it feel to win the Jack London Prize? I remember walking into the conference and seeing my name listed as the winner of the fiction category at the registration desk. I had to cover my mouth to keep from squealing with joy. I’d always known I had a good story to tell, but having a panel of expert judges agree was amazing. I hardly remember anything about the rest of the day.

Please tell us about the moment you found out your book had been optioned as a movie. About four months after the book was released, I received an email with a subject of “Your Book.” The message read, “I am on the board of the Palm Springs Women in Film board and received an email press release about your book. I am also a producer and would love to read your book, I will be ordering it from Amazon.” I immediately replied that I would be happy to send a complimentary copy. The producer, who is a woman, took the book on vacation in February and when she returned, she emailed me saying, "I love the book and think that it could make a very interesting screenplay. Kind of like The Big Chill meets It’s Complicated."

The actual offer came through on April 1, 2010. Thank goodness it wasn’t an April Fool’s joke!

When can we expect to see Staying Afloat come out? The book is finished and I’ve written several drafts of a query letter, but I’m still deep in promoting my first novel, so haven’t had time to start the querying process. I may even decide to independently publish. We’ll see.

Have you decided what you're going to write as a third novel? I’ve just begun Bitter Acres, the story of four women in the 60’s who live on the same suburban street and are best friends. I’m only on chapter two, so I don’t know where the story is going yet. That’s the fun of writing fiction. I love seeing where the characters will take the story.

What's the #1 piece of advice you give other writers? To be a successful writer you must have passion, persistence, and patience. You also must be willing to market and promote once your book is published. Just as a parent’s responsibilities don’t end with giving birth, an author’s responsibilities don’t end with publication. The child must be raised and a book must be marketed.

Do you read for pleasure? If so, what kind of books do you like to read? I read a variety of fiction. Right now, I’m reading Up From the Blue by Susan Henderson, which I’m finding hard to put down, and I just finished Midnight Champagne by A. Manette Ansay, which I loved -- quirky, dark and beautifully written. For me, it’s important to keep reading. It makes me a better writer.

What are your views on chocolate? If it's something you like, do you prefer milk, dark or white chocolate? I LOVE chocolate! I have a piece of dark chocolate almost every night after dinner, preferably with a little red wine. I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like chocolate.

Erin O'Riordan and Pagan Spirits would like to thank Judith Marshall, author of HUSBANDS MAY COME AND GO BUT FRIENDS ARE FOREVER, for taking time out for this interview.

"Exploring the Animal/Autism Connection" by Sandra J. Gerencher

Children with disabilities are my inspiration. It's real life. It's what goes on every day. The people in my life inspire me such as my adopted son with autism and my special education students at school. I was once told my son, Terry, would never speak in full sentences. Yet he speaks to our dog, Chance, as if he can understand him.

We don't know what's going on inside an autistic child's brain, but there's something different in my son’s thought processes when he’s talking to the dog. When I stand outside his room, I hear him asking the dog, “Are you hungry? Do you want to play?” It helps him cope with some of the issues he's dealing with.

I think animals can sense the good in people. He is more animated with the dog. They play together constantly. When Terry misbehaves I tell him, ”Chance is sad.” Then I ask, "What would Chance want you to do?" He always wants to make Chance happy. When I put it in terms of the dog, he responds right away.

My goal is to make children aware that there are kids with special needs. Kids nowadays aren't exposed to people with disabilities. Being naturally inquisitive, they need to be taught why others are different. As an educator and mother, if I've accomplished that goal with one child, then that more than satisfies me.

***



Sandra J. Gerencher is the author of the children’s book Second Chance: How Adoption Saved a Boy with Autism & His Shelter Dog. (Read an excerpt here. A PBS Kids Recommended title.)

Gerencher is a special education teacher in Pennsylvania's Bangor Area public school system. Over the past 20 years she has worked with children and adults with special needs in such areas as counseling, Behavior Specialist Consultation, behavioral research, crisis intervention and abuse therapy. Sandra graduated from Lehigh University with a M.Ed. in Special Education (2004) and from Chestnut Hill College in Philadelphia with an M.S. in Counseling Psychology (1999).