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Sunday, July 15, 2012

Summer Tastes and Smells Like Lake Michigan in My Hair

Stream of Consciousness (SOC) Sunday has migrated from AllThingsFadra (which you should still follow by e-mail, because it's a great blog) to Jana's Thinking Place. Find the prompt there, blog your 5-minute stream of consciousness, then link up! Today's prompt is, "What does summer smell or taste like to you, and why?"

Summer smells like Lake Michigan in my hair. I just got back from an anniversary trip to Silver Beach (St. Joseph, Michigan) with my husband, Tit Elingtin. We've been married ten years now. I wanted to try paddleboarding, and there's a sporting goods shop on the beach that rents paddleboards. They're also called sups, short for stand-ups.

You know what the worst thing about paddleboarding is? That, at some point, you have to stop paddleboarding. Otherwise, it's pretty awesome. They're wider than a standard surfboard, pretty stable, and the paddle helps you keep your balance when you're standing up. I only wiped out once. Well, I fell off twice, but the first time was on purpose. I got too close to the swim buoys and couldn't turn myself around fast enough. Fast turns will take a little more practice.

Now I'm a surfer wannabe, and I wish I could be a beach bum and just paddleboard, lay on the beach and read books the rest of the summer. If I can stand up on a sup, I can totally stand up on an actual longboard, right? I think I could.

I'd like to go to Hawaii and find out. Of course, since I'm obsessed with From Here to Eternity right now, I wanted to go to Hawaii anyway. Y'know, more than I usually want to go to Hawaii, which is already a lot.
__________________________

On another note, for the next few hours, I am caught up on watching Season 5 of True Blood. Last night I tweeted:
...and Pam answered me:

Gawd, I love Twitter. Y'all know I stalk the living shit out of TheDorkMistress on Tumblr, and this morning the fabulous Kala L. (via EyesOfWitt, another chick whose fictional boyfriend is Pvt. Bob Witt) reblogged this gem:

Jim Caviezel does an impression of Homer Simpson...and I die. As if I didn't already have a ridiculous Catholic schoolgirl crush on him. (Jim Caviezel surfs, but then, he was born on the West Coast and not near a Great Lake that makes a rather poor excuse for an ocean. Whatever. I love being Midwestern.) 

[2024 Update: The video is no longer available on YouTube.]

I wonder if he knows about the episode wherein Homer dresses as Jesus and gets struck by lightning? 


Wednesday, July 11, 2012

WIP Wednesday ~ An Exciting Day for Shah Wharton

Today is an exciting day for my fellow author/blogger Shah Wharton; today she reveals the cover of her first novel, Finding Esta! Shah will be my guest next WIP Wednesday, but in the meantime, you can see her book cover here. Go show my girl Shah some love.

This week I've been working on adding a few more sex scenes to the third novel in the Pagan Spirits series, St. James' Day. But I haven't done a ton of writing this week. What are YOU working on? 

Obviously, I've been reading - lots of From Here to Eternity, and still have 300 pages to go. Then I started Deborah Harkness' Shadow of Night, the sequel to A Discovery of Witches, because I have it from the library for a limited time. Yep, I'm cheating on Robert E. Lee Prewitt with Matthew Clairmont. But it doesn't mean I don't love you, Prew, despite all your faults.


I can't wait to see the From Here to Eternity movie, after I finish the book. I'm stupidly excited that the Internet told me Montgomery Clift was bisexual. I really don't care about people's sexual orientation - just be yourself - yet tell me that somebody famous and hot is bi, and all of the sudden I'm like, "Victory!"

'Sup with that?

Monty Clift, you will be my second future baby daddy once time travel is perfected. After George Gershwin. We'll go in chronological order.

I'm also stupidly excited that someone found this blog by searching "famous Jewish lesbians." I'm happy to be the curator of Jewish lesbian knowledge, although I can't really tell you that much. A little bit about The Dyke and Dybbuk, yes. I can tell you a little more about bisexual Jewish women: Peaches, for example, and Susan Sontag and Rachel Kramer Bussel. I feel compelled to post about Gertrude Stein now.

Or Phranc. Phranc comes up in She's A Rebel by Gillian G. Gaar:


"As virtually the only self-proclaimed 'all-American Jewish lesbian folksinger,' Phranc, with her snappy flattop hairstyle, was a category unto herself, but she was quick to point out it was a category with universal appeal. 'My songs speak to everybody,' she says. 'I have some songs that deal with the issue of lesbians, and there's an identification of me being a lesbian, but my sexuality is not the biggest part of me-it's part of me like my haircut and my shoes; it's not the biggest part of me and it's not the smallest part. But when I was growing up, there were so few examples of people that were out as lesbians, I felt like I was the only one! I'm not the only one. Young people need to know that they're not the only one. They should have the right to grow up and be whoever they are. That's the point I'm making.'


"Born Susie Gottlieb and raised in Los Angeles, Phranc began playing music at age five, progressing from piano to violin to guitar by age ten..."


As I'm writing this, I'm watching For Colored Girls, the film based on Ntozake Shange's play-in-poetry  For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf. I've never read Shange, but her words are gorgeous. The movie was adapted and produced by Tyler Perry; the previews at the beginning of the DVD included I Can Do Bad All By Myself, a Tyler Perry project that stars Taraji P. Henson.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

With Apologies to Amy Winehouse...

Nobody stands in between me and American literature
It's me and Mr. James Jones
(Me and Mr. Jones)



What kind of fuckery is this?
You make me miss that Borgnine kid
Before I hadn't read you, now I did
Can't believe you wrote as well as that

No, you ain't worth censorship
So a few guys had guys they wanted to kiss -
At least you were honest to yourself in this
Can't believe you wrote as well as this



Holmes is one thing, but come Warden
Nobody stands in between me and my man
'Cause it's me and Mr. James Jones
(Me and Mr. Jones)

What kind of fuckery are we?
Nowadays, you mean three books to me
I might read Some Came Running some day
Who's it about, anyway?

What kind of fuckery is Prew?
'Side from Bloom, he never fought a Jew
I would have sworn he was a dick
But he had a lot of good parts, too



Mr. Eternity, 19 and 77
Nobody stands in between me and my books
'Cause it's me and Mr. James Jones
Yeah
(Me and Mr. Jones)


(Sorry, Amy. I think I've got it out of my system now.)

Monday, July 9, 2012

What I'm Pinning: Tearable Literary Puns



Given my unrelenting enthusiasm for Christian Bale, it should come as no surprise I'll be excited to see The Dark Knight Rises.



Given that I'm an unrelenting book nerd, I can't get this imaginary mash-up out of my brain: Everything the Dark Knight Rises Must Converge, a film by Christopher Nolan and Flannery O'Connor. An embittered Bruce Wayne with delusions of moral superiority must confront his own inadequacies when his butler Alfred suffers a fatal stroke after a confrontation with a Catwoman, who takes his condescending gesture of friendliness amiss. (Summary written with the help of The New York Public Library Literature Companion.) 

Of course I've read Flannery O'Connor; if you go to Catholic school long enough, you'll be forced to do so at nunpoint. 



On a recent episode of The Simpsons, Bart's fourth grade class was about to read Death in Venice. I looked it up - Thomas Mann's 1912 novella (Der Tod in Venedig in the original German) about a middle-aged man's infatuation with a physically beautiful teenage Italian boy is so not appropriate for a classroom of fourth graders.



I'm about to spoil the ending for you now, so look away if you'd like to read Thomas Mann and be surprised. (But, um, the title is kind of a give-away anyway.)

I thought of another mash-up: Lover Reborn in Venice by J.R. Ward and Thomas Mann. At the end of the novel, Blay and Qhuinn make meaningful eye contact. Qhuinn rises from his chair to make his way over to Blay, then drops dead.

James Jones' delicious literary pun in From Here to Eternity is to name the brothel The New Congress Hotel, a wicked play on the word "Congress." Not the kind of Congress that contained Paul Tsongas. (Yep, that's another Simpsons reference.)

I stayed at the Congress Plaza hotel in downtown Chicago, and I don't remember seeing any hookers there. Great brunch buffet, though.



But I'm not the only one with a penchant for literary puns, as evidenced by these pins.



The Hunger Games seems to lend itself to quite a few of these. If I were to do a Peeta meme, mine would say, "You call her the girl on fire? I call her the Girl on Top."



This one cracks me up.






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Sunday, July 8, 2012

That Much Closer to Eternity

So as I'm reading From Here to Eternity, one of the few remaining actors therein, Ernest Borgnine, decided to die. I'm not happy about this. I haven't even gotten to the part of the book that contains his character, Sgt. "Fatso" Judson. I don't even know if he's a good guy, a bad guy, or a chopped salad of mixed good and evil bits (which is what most James Jones characters actually seem to be). Now when I finish the book and reward myself by watching the movie, I'll have to watch it thinking, "Oh, Ernest Borgnine's poor family and friends - they must miss him terribly." Stupid reality! Stop intruding on my enjoyment of fictional characters.

The principle actors - Montgomery Clift as Prew, Donna Reed as Lorene, Deborah Kerr as Karen Holmes and Burt Lancaster as Milt Warden - are all dead. Long dead, in the case of Montgomery Clift. He had multiple addiction issues and died young, in his 40s.

But look at him: he's so beautiful.



There's something else about this cool Nebraska guy - according to Patricia Bosworth, who wrote a biography of Clift, he was one of my people, the bisexuals. Maybe not the best example of a happy, well-adjusted bi, but still - I shall now picture him ascended to bisexual heaven, where he shall sit at the right hand of James Dean, amen.



The quote that accompanied this photo, when I found it on Pinterest, was, "I don't want to be labeled as either a pansy or a heterosexual. Labeling is so self-limiting. We are what we do, not what we say we are."

...and with that quote (which may or may not be accurate - don't trust the Internet), I am completely in love with him.

Well, I'd better go to bed now. Montgomery Clift, please get in my dreams.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Hooker Please ~ Prostitutes in Literature

On account of reading and writing so much about prostitution lately, I threatened HERE to write this blog post, and now I did. I don't judge people for non-monogamy or for having jobs in sex work, but just for the record, I categorically oppose human trafficking, forced prostitution of any kind and the sexual exploitation of minors.

The two former prostitutes I've known in my life were both recovering drug users, and their sex work was directly related to their addictions. This doesn't apply to any of the five characters you'll read about below - obviously, for artistic purposes, there's a bit of a disconnect between reality and fiction.


I warn you, a spoiler is coming up for Mockingjay, so don't continue unless you've finished the entire Hunger Games trilogy.

Prostitutes in Literature I've Read Recently

1. A Hu-Li, The Sacred Book of the Werewolf by Victor Pelevin. A Hu-Li is a supernatural kitsune, a fox shape-shifter. Owing to her supernatural ability to influence human minds, she never actually has to physically touch her clients. Until she starts falling in love, A Hu-Li is, paradoxically, a virgin prostitute, at least in the sense that she’s never had intercourse in her unnaturally long life.

2. Lorene (Alma Schmidt), From Here to Eternity by James Jones (currently reading). Lorene is Alma Schmidt’s “house name” at the Honolulu brothel The New Congress Hotel. She’s a native of Oregon who told her mother she was going to Hawaii for a few years to work as a secretary. Alma has a legitimate reason for wanting to earn her own money: she doesn’t want to have to depend on a man. The first night Robert E. Lee Prewitt meets her, he’s in love. She won’t marry him because, in order to preserve her reputation to the extent that no one would ever believe she’d been a prostitute, she intends to marry a high-status husband.

3. Finnick Odair, Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins. Mockingjay is a war novel, and many outrages happen therein, but few upset me as much as Finnick’s fate as a 17-year-old Hunger Games victor. In Catching Fire, Finnick’s flirtatious nature made him seem like he was overly confident, cocky and proud. In Mockingjay, we learn his sexualized way of relating to other people is the result of exploitation from the Capitol – he was literally pimped out to wealthy male and female clients. Unlike Alma, Finnick gets to marry his true love, Annie, who is pregnant when Finnick is killed in battle.

https://amzn.to/4cBthfu


Sidebar: What do Katniss Everdeen and Robert E. Lee Prewitt have in common? They look somewhat similar - tall and slim, with an olive complexion. They both come from a coal mining area, and both had coal miner fathers. Prew drinks like Haymitch, though.

4. Sophie-Anne Leclerq, Definitely Dead by Charlaine Harris. 1,100-year-old French teen Sophie-Anne Leclerq is a recurring character in Harris' Southern Vampire Mysteries series, until her true death. Definitely Dead is the book in which the heroine Sookie Stackhouse hears Sophie-Anne’s tale. As a mortal human, Sophie-Anne was the sole survivor of a wave of plague that destroyed her village. When she met up with other human beings again, they exploited her and put her to work as a prostitute. Her callous treatment by other humans is some of the reason why the vampire queen of Louisiana is so cold and calculating, a terrifying and powerful woman.

5. Myrtle,The Seven Descents of Myrtle(also known as Kingdom of Earth) by Tennessee Williams. I didn't actually read this one; via Kala's (TheDorkMistress') Tumblr, I heard this recording of the short story/dramatic monologue being read by Tom Hiddleston. Tom Hiddleston is one of the stars of Tumblr, beloved by fangirls everywhere for his portrayal of the comic book villain/Norse god Loki in the movies Thor and The Avengers. Hiddleston narrates the story as "Chicken," the character who steals his half-brother Lot's new wife, Myrtle.

(This is an odd image of Loki, but it resonates with the "seven descents" in the title - Dance of the Seven Veils, get it? But then again, in Norse mythology, Loki is sometimes female. He/she gives birth - the wolf-monster Fenrir, who may or may not appear as a character in The Sacred Book of the Werewolf, is one of the offspring of which Loki is the mother.*)

Myrtle and Chicken have a long, philosophical talk in which she describes being sexually harassed and then raped by her boss as a young teen. Despite the violence of her experience, she learned that she liked the sexual act itself* and became a prostitute as well as a showgirl before marrying Lot. Lot, afflicted with tuberculosis,is a pathetic figure; Myrtle married him largely out of pity. Lot calls Myrtle’s name all night while she’s up in the attic making love to Chicken, and in the morning the two come down to find Lot dead.

Prostitutes in Literature I Haven't Read

For this, I've enlisted the aid of the trusty New York Public Library Literature Companion. I feel as if there should be some character who comes immediately to mind when I think of literary prostitutes, and I’m having a brain cramp and just not thinking of him or her. Help me out here, blogosphere – who else belongs on this list?

-- Moll Flanders, The Fortunes and Misfortunes of the Famous Moll Flanders by Daniel Defoe. Being a prostitute is counted among Moll Flanders’ misfortunes. Later in her life, she becomes rich, repents, and dies an honest woman. Stupid Flanders. 

-- Lulu, Pandora’s Box by Frank Wedekind. Lulu is the classic literary femme fatale – she literally causes the deaths of those around her. Like Moll Flanders, she grew up on the streets. In her declining years, Lulu is reduced to prostitution, and her final client is Jack the Ripper. Louise Brooks played Lulu in a 1929 silent film.

-- Maureen Wendall, Them by Joyce Carol Oates. Maureen is the daughter of Howard and Loretta Wendall, a working-class couple. Howard, a police officer, is once busted for taking money from prostitutes. After his death, Loretta relies too heavily on her young daughter to take care of her, and Maureen works as a prostitute to build an escape fund. Her stepfather finds out and beats her, resulting in a nervous breakdown. Maureen’s older half-brother, Jules, sexually abuses and pimps out a woman. So, typical Joyce Carol Oates: heavy, depressing dysfunction all around.

I do not volunteer to read any of these things. 'Specially not J.C.O. I'm still traumatized by "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been."

Friday, July 6, 2012

Guest Post: by Sean Jameson ~ 5 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life

I don't like to be the bearer of bad news, but that initial spark in your relationship will almost always eventually fade. If you are just starting a new relationship with someone, you may think that the excitement you both feel about getting sexual with each will never go away. The truth is that it will unfortunately always slowly go away :(

Thankfully, these 5 different sex tips and ideas will show you what to do to prevent that spark of excitement dying.

1. Learn Some New Sex Positions As your relationship progresses, you will start to discover which sex positions you both enjoy most. This is great! The only problem with though is that many couples find themselves only using between 3 and 7 different sex positions. These are usually missionary, cowgirl and doggystyle or a variation of it. Now there's nothing wrong with this. It's just that when sex becomes a routine, you will eventually become bored of it. Instead I strongly advise people to experiment and learn as many new sex positions as possible to try with their partner. And I'm not talking about crazy, 'you-need-to-be-super-flexible' positions either. There are literally hundreds of easy to perform positions that you can try out with your man. I have even created a whole section devoted to this on the Bad Girl's Bible.



2. Roleplaying Roleplaying with your partner is a wonderful way open up more sexual avenues in your relationship. The fabulous thing about roleplaying is that it's a safe way to explore your fantasies with your significant other. Hopefully this list of potential fantasies to try out with your man gives you some ideas on the possibilities.

 - School girl/boy and headmaster/headmistress who has to deliver some discipline
 - Doctor and patient
 - Nurse and patient
 - Prison officer and prisoner
 - Secretary and boss
 - Master & Slave who needs punishment
 - Becoming a swashbuckling pirate
 - Rich independent woman and penniless man (don't forget to switch roles too!)

There are hundreds of roleplays that you can try out, these are just a few of the more popular ones to give you an idea of the possibilities.



3. Get Outside! The bedroom is the default location for sex for most people. But some more adventurous people like to have sex all around the house, whether it's in the kitchen or in the bathroom or even on the stairs. But if you want to take it to the next level, then I highly recommend that you try having sex outside in the open. When I say outside, I don't actually mean 'outside where you can get caught'. While many find the thought of getting caught by someone else while having sex to be thrilling, it's not something that I advise. So avoid places where you are both likely to get caught (i.e. anywhere in a city, public parks, etc.) When I say have sex outside, I mean that you should try it in places where it's just the 2 of you, alone, with almost no chance of either of you being caught or seen by others, but in a location that is beautiful. This could be by a lake early in the morning, on a beach under the stars or deep inside a forest where you can moan and groan as loud as you like without fear of being caught.



4. Don't Forget About Handjobs Whenever I get questions about sex, it usually boils down to just one of 3 things: "Teach me some new sex positions!", "How can I give a great blowjob?" or "How do I talk dirty?" One question that I rarely get, but that guys love their partner to do is giving them a handjob. Giving a great handjob is thankfully quite easy as described here. But for those who want the quick start guide, these 4 steps will get you started in the right direction:

 - Start by grabbing him around the base of his shaft. Rub it up and down for between 10 seconds and a minute.
 - Then move your hand towards the head of his penis (that's the purple part). Start stroking this part of his penis upwards and downwards, making sure that that he can feel each finger move upwards and downwards over the ridge of skin where the head joins the shaft (it's called the Corona). This will give him a lot of pleasurable stimulation.
 - Alternate between the first 2 handjob techniques, then every once in a while, lower your hand(s) to his testicles and grab them softly, then start massaging them. Remember that your man is really sensitive down here, so be careful not to accidentally hurt him by being too rough.
 - While using a combination of the 3 techniques above, you should also vary the speed at which you give your man a handjob. Start off slowly, then speed up, slow down, speed up again until he reaches orgasm and then as he starts cumming slow down again.

5. What To Do When You're Not Around If you want to keep your sex life exciting even when you are not with your partner, then there are a few really cool things that you can do. - Send each other dirty texts a few times during the week. Make sure to do it randomly so they are unexpected and out of the blue. It could be a saucy statement like, "Was thinking about your ass during work and it's making me hard (or wet)!" or "I can't wait to fuck you later." Or it could be a question like, "Would you prefer me to go down on you later or would you like a nice long massage?" - The same goes for when you are on the phone. Just let your significant other know what you are thinking of. You could say something that's not too dirty like, "I wish you were here right now." or "You are making me so hard/wet just listening to your voice." My name is Sean Jameson and you can learn more about me on my website.


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