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Thursday, March 22, 2018

'Quidditch Through the Ages' Audiobook Read by Andrew Lincoln

Slight spoilers below if you haven't already listened to this audiobook. Nothing major - no Cursed Child-type surprises. 

When I first read Quidditch Through the Ages by "Kennilworthy Whisp," one of the schoolbooks Harry Potter and his cohort are said to have read and studied at Hogwarts, I wasn't too impressed. Quidditch was never one of my favorite aspects of the Harry Potter books, although I do have quite the fondness for some of the lady quidditch players, especially Ginny Weasley and Angelina Johnson. But the history of the sport didn't interest me, so I only gave it three stars on Goodreads.

Still, it sounded like fun to listen to the new audiobook version read by Andrew Lincoln, available through Pottermore. It has sound effects and bonus material, namely new writing by J.K. Rowling. It consists of 21 tracks, of which the first 12 are the actual text of the book.

Andrew Lincoln has a lovely reading voice. I can imagine it's the voice Edgar Linton used to read bedtime stories to baby Judith Cathy Linton before he remarried Michonne and lived happily ever after sadly passed away. Somehow his natural English accent sounds nothing at all like Rick Grime's Georgia accent. Actors are amazing.

The audiobook's bonus tracks also feature the voice of Imogen Church as Ginny Weasley-Potter (reading bulletins she wrote for the Daily Prophet as a Quidditch World Cup correspondent) and Annette Badland as Rita Skeeter (gossiping at the World Cup finals).

https://whompingwillowy.tumblr.com/post/170186950554/i-woke-up-to-such-news-my-fandoms-collide

A portion of the proceeds from sales of this audiobook go to charity, so I didn't feel bad at all about paying the $16 to Pottermore. One charity is the Lumos Foundation, which helps support families who might otherwise give their children up for adoption, since it's normally in a child's best interest to stay with their birth family whenever possible. Its goal is to reduce the number of children who live in the world's orphanages. The other charity is Comic Relief UK, which supports poverty alleviation projects.

Introduction

The first track of this book is an introduction by Albus Dumbledore. Dumbledore describes the process of borrowing the Hogwarts library's copy of Quidditch Through the Ages from librarian Madame Pince, who was not keen on letting the book be released into the muggle world. Lincoln reads this chapter in the voice of elderly Dumbledore. It's amusing, but I'm glad he doesn't have to use this voice for the entire book.

Chapter Three

This chapter relays the recollections of early quidditch play recorded by Gertie Kettle at Queerditch Marsh. Andrew Lincoln's Gertie Kettle voice is one of the funniest parts of this book.


Chapter Ten

Lincoln pronounces "patent" with a long A. It's the most British thing I've ever heard, aside from perhaps Benedict Cumberbatch's guest appearance on The Simpsons.


...which is, of course, a parody of Love Actually, in which Andrew Lincoln plays would-be wife-stealer Mark.

Afterward 

In the 12th track, Lincoln reads the biography of Kennilworthy Whisp and the book's "reviews" from in-world celebrities such as Rita Skeeter. The best of these reviews, in Lincoln's reading, is from Gilderoy Lockhart. He might have been brilliant at playing Lockhart, had he been given the chance. (No offence to Sir Kenneth Branagh.)

History of the Quidditch World Cup

In this bonus material, track 13, Lincoln does Viktor Krum's Bulgarian accent, and this is very cute. You'll be happy to know that Viktor is still playing competitive quidditch at the age of 38.

Quidditch World Cup 2014 - First Round Matches (Track 15)

The match between Chad and Lichtenstein seems like it will never even, and Imogen Church's Ginny sounds sufficiently exasperated at the seemingly-endless play. Church's real accomplishment, though, is pronouncing the many multi-ethnic names required of her here. In this bonus chapter we learn that Viktor Krum has come out of retirement to play again at the age of 38 and that he's the oldest player in the tournament.

Quidditch World Cup 2014 - Rita Skeeter's Gossip Column (Track 18)

Skeeter is a notoriously unreliable narrator, and she's clearly jealous of Ginny. Should we believe her when she reports that Harry, age 34, has some streaks of gray in his black hair?

Rita Skeeter is certainly a character one loves to hate; I'd have some words for her over her snark about Hermione's hair or her speculation about why Charlie Weasley is still unmarried. (He's probably just asexual.)

I hope she's correct in her assessment that Bill and Fleur's daughter Victoire and Harry's godson Teddy Lupin are taking every available opportunity to sneak off to a dark corner and snog.

Quidditch World Cup Final 2014 - Live Match Commentary (Track 20)

Rita Skeeter and Ginny Potter perform the live match commentary together (with a brief introduction narrated by Andrew Lincoln). It's the most highly-enhanced track as far as sound effects. Harry, James Sirius, and Lily Luna are rooting for Viktor's Bulgarian team in the finals, but Albus Severus is rooting for Brazil. They're sitting with Neville Longbottom.

Skeeter also gives us a vivid description of Luna Lovegood's wedding dress when she married Rolf Scamander (grandson of Newt Scamander and Tina Goldstein): "Rainbows, spangles, and a tiara of silver unicorn horns." It sounds awesome.

Will Viktor Krum finally walk away with a Quidditch World Cup trophy on his third attempt? If he does, will Ron still be jealous of Hermione's teenage crush on Viktor? Will Ginny jinx Rita to get her to shut up? You'll have to listen to find out.

And the 21st and Final Track...

...is only the credits and a little spiel about Pottermore, read by Andrew Lincoln.

Summary

If you're not the biggest fan of sports/quidditch, you won't find this the most interesting of J.K. Rowling's books. It certainly relies much less on traditional mythologies than, say, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. The voice actors' performances are enjoyable, but not so amazing that they can hold your attention if you're simply not interested in the material. But if you're like me and you feel compelled to read all of J.K. Rowling's books, you're going to listen to this anyway. And you should, because the proceeds are going to a really good cause.

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

'The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue' by Mackenzi Lee

The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue (Guide, #1)The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I am SO MAD at this book -- HOW DAre it just end THERE?!?!

Seriously, though, this is well-crafted piece of historical fiction about three young adults on their Grand Tour of Europe in the early 18th century. Their adventures are over-the-top and ludicrous, and that's part of the book's charm.

The real "alchemical heart" of the book is the friendship between our heroes, Henry "Monty" Montague and his BFF Percy. As a clever(ish) social media quote goes, "A good romance starts with friendship. A bad romance starts with Rah rah ah-ah-ah! Ro mah ro-mah-mah..." Monty and Percy are friends, but Monty is desperately in love.


The question of whether Percy considers Monty as anything more than a dear friend is resolved at the very end, which is why I need there to be...more book. Overall, it's a charming adventure story, quite briskly paced in parts, with a throbbing emotional heart.

I purchased my copy at Forever Books with my own funds and was not obligated in any way to review it.

This is an affiliate link:

You Say Witch Like It's a Bad Thing: Thea by George Saoulidis. $2.99 from Smashwords.com
When a teenage witch goes to a new school, she finds herself in an unfamiliar place with no friends. But will she manage to befriend some of the girls in class, when she’s anxious about revealing herself to others, when she’s still coughing up water from the last time she trusted people and when her new friends want to try her magick on a tennis match?

Monday, March 12, 2018

'La Belle Sauvage' (The Book of Dust, #1) by Philip Pullman

La Belle Sauvage (The Book of Dust, #1)La Belle Sauvage by Philip Pullman

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I'm a big fan of the series. I wish everyone would read the His Dark Materials trilogy because I want everyone to know what Philip Pullman knows about love, as explained through the third book, The Amber Spyglass.

I read La Belle Sauvage in February and I quite enjoyed it. As often happens when I read a book that blows my mind, it takes me a while to be able to articulate why I loved it like I did.

Malcolm is a good boy, and I love his reverence for baby Lyra. The little scene of Lord Asriel being parental with Lyra was heartwarming, the fairy tale scenes felt very magical to me, and Malcolm's first inklings of coming of age and perhaps starting to fall in love made me want to keep reading about him.

Overall, I thought this was a wonderful addition to the His Dark Materials universe.

I purchased this book with a gift card my parents gave me for Christmas at my local brick-and-mortar Barnes and Noble. I was not obligated in any way to review it.

Friday, March 9, 2018

The Book Adaptation Tag

I borrowed this tag from Ronnie at Paradise Found.

1. What is the last book adaptation movie you saw?


2. What movie are you most excited for?


3. Which upcoming movie will you definitely NOT see?

I have zero interest in Red Sparrow. It's just not my kind of thing.

4. Which book movie would you NEVER watch again?

Maybe Where the Wild Things Are. I felt like the movie sucked all the fun out of the book and made it preachy and sad.

5. Is there a movie you saw that made you want to read the book if you hadn't/haven't yet?

More than once, yes. The Vampire Academy movie made me read the whole series.  Beautiful Creatures made me read the first two books. I wanted to finish the series but I never have.

6. Conversely, is there a movie that made you never want to read the book?

I hardly ever think to myself that I absolutely never want to read a book, because my interests change all the time. I can't think of one I never want to read, but I probably won't read, for example, Kathryn Stockett's The Help, even though I liked the movie. I already know the plot now and I usually don't enjoy reading racist characters, even if they do get their comeuppance.

Maybe Cloud Atlas because that movie left me both sad and confused.

7. Name an adaptation that has almost nothing to do with the book it is supposedly based on.

Howl's Moving Castle, but I love both the book and the very-different movie.

8. Have you ever left the theatre during a movie adaptation because it was so bad?

Nope. The only movie I ever walked out of Saving Private Ryan because my best friend got grossed out by the gory violence.

9. Do you prefer to watch the movie or read the book first?

I prefer to read the book first, but I don't always do it. There are a lot of book adaptations I like but still haven't read the book they were based on. Coraline by Neil Gaiman is one.


10. How do you feel about movie adaptations that age characters up? (ex. characters that are in middle-school, but in the movies they are 18)

I don't really have any feelings on this one. I can't think of an example.

11. Do you get angry when the actors don't look like you thought the characters looked?

Sometimes, a little. I usually end up liking the movie version anyway, but occasionally I like my fictional image better than the movie image.

12. Is there a movie you liked better than its book?

I like the 2002 adaptation of The Count of Monte Cristo a little better than the book, but bear in mind that I really, really love the book too. I just like the movie ending better.

13. Name a book that you'd like to see as a movie.


If you'd like to answer these questions, here's the question set.

1. What is the last book adaptation movie you saw?
2. What movie are you most excited for?
3. Which upcoming movie will you definitely NOT see?
4. Which book movie would you NEVER watch again?
5. Is there a movie you saw that made you want to read the book if you hadn't/haven't yet?
6. Conversely, is there a movie that made you never want to read the book?
7. Name an adaptation that has almost nothing to do with the book it is supposedly based on.
8. Have you ever left the theatre during a movie adaptation because it was so bad?
9. Do you prefer to watch the movie or read the book first?
10. How do you feel about movie adaptations that age characters up? (ex. characters that are in middle-school, but in the movies they are 18)
11. Do you get angry when the actors don't look like you thought the characters looked?
12. Is there a movie you liked better than its book?
13. Name a book that you'd like to see as a movie.

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

#Free E-Books for Read an E-Book Week 2018


For Read an E-Book Week 2018, March 4th through March 10th, I'm giving away five free e-books on Smashwords:

The Erotica Anthology - free with coupon
Josephine Baker in Berlin - free with coupon
Oliver’s Good Night Kiss - free with coupon
Beltane - free with coupon

You can also get the two crime novels I wrote with Tit Elingtin for a discounted price during Read an E-Book Week. 
Eminent Domain - $1 with coupon
Cut - $1.50 with coupon
Check them out and enjoy!
Happy reading!