Friday, December 7, 2012

Guest Post - Do You Prefer Reading About Sex to Having It?

Erotica gives men a lot to live up to. Sex in erotic fiction books is always hot, steamy and exciting, which is a far cry from the real world, where many women find that it can often be a letdown. The disparity between the quality of fictional sex and real sex has become so great that some fans of erotica even report preferring reading about flesh-on-flesh action to actually participating in it. In fact according to the New York Daily News, a recent poll conducted in Britain concluded that forty-four percent of women who took part would rather snuggle up in bed with an erotica book than engage in sex with their partner. Four hundred women aged between twenty-five and forty took part in the survey that led to these results and an impressive ninety-one percent stated that they had read at least one erotica book, meaning that these women were talking from experience as opposed to merely hypothesizing. What is it that makes fictional sex preferable to actual sex in some people’s eyes? Could it be that their partners simply don’t cut the mustard?

Fictional Men Do It Better

The male characters in erotic fiction are always prepared for sex. They never find themselves having to desperately search for a condom at the last minute or finding that they have ran out of Viagra and can’t get it up. You wouldn’t find the men in erotica having to rush to a twenty-four-hour supermarket for a packet of Durex or moaning that they didn’t buy blue pill supplies and are unable to get hard. It is perhaps little wonder that some men don’t like their partners reading this genre, although they should try and get used to it because the New York Daily News claims that sales of erotica now account for fourteen percent of books sold via retail website, making it one of the most popular literary genres.

Ideal Lovers

Perhaps one of the reasons that some women prefer erotica to sex is that enables them to let their imaginations run wild. They can visualise the characters in the books as looking however they want them to look and imagine them to possess characteristics that are hard to come by in the real world. It is also a damn sight easier to paint a picture of the perfect man in a book than it is to shack up with the perfect man in real life, meaning that by picking up an erotic fiction title, women can read about somebody that they perceive to be their ideal lover as opposed to somebody who is human and possesses imperfections.

Erotica Makes for Easier Orgasms

It isn’t all bad news for men though, as clinical psychologist and sex therapist Dr Janet Hall claims that erotica can make women more receptive to sex even if they do prefer reading about it. She says that it can help to get women in the mood and often ensure that they are turned on to the point where they are able to orgasm. The problem is that this means that whilst a woman is having sex with her partner, there will be a strong likelihood that she will be thinking about a sex scene from an erotic novel. Whilst not many men are likely to complain about this if it means that they are in for a better quality of lovemaking, it still means that real life sex will always play second fiddle to book sex even when it results in the woman reaching the perfect climax. This is bound to be damaging to the male ego even if it does mean that they will be able to sleep with their partners more often than they would have been able to do if the erotic fiction genre had never come into being.

Final Thoughts

Ultimately men will never be able to compare to the characters depicted in erotica in the same way that women will never be able to compare to the fantasy figures that are created in men’s heads. Luckily most people are grounded in reality and realise that nobody outside of the domain of fiction is perfect and grow to love their partners’ imperfections. Is sex in erotica as good as the real thing? No because it lacks a genuine human connection and the emotional response that comes with it.

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