The Pepa Potts Project

Did you ever wake up from a dream that felt like your brain put so much effort into it, dreaming it gave you almost the same feeling of accomplishment as writing something (or whatever your artistic endeavor of choice may be)? Frankly, I still haven't quite stopped thinking about this.

I wish I could. But I can't.

Then, the other day when I couldn't decide what to watch on Netflix, I "accidentally" watched The Avengers for at least the fifth or sixth time. That only made it worse. Now I can't stop thinking about Tony Stark and Pepper Potts as a couple. I know I'm a crazy multi-shipper, but on this viewing, I really shipped Pepperony hard.

Combined with my love of '90s music and hip hop by female artists, I was inspired to create The Pepa Potts Project. This combines screen captures of Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Pots with the lyrics of Salt N Pepa.

The lyrics are, of course, from "Shoop," which we discussed in the Go, Mutants! post.

These lyrics are snagged from the immortal "Let's Talk About Sex."

...And these are from "Gitty Up."

"Gitty Up" was never one of my favorite S+P songs, but I do remember the video, somewhat, because of its cowboy dancing.

These lyrics are from an older song, "Beauty and the Beat."

This is from "None of Your Business," a song we already heard in "A Musical Flashback to 1993." 

The last piece of the Pepa Potts Project - so far - takes its lyrics from "Do You Want Me?"

As I searched Tumblr for appropriate images to use for the project, I found out that some people ship Pepperony together with Loki. If you have this OT3, you're a Froz3nPizza shipper. (Whereas if you're not into threesomes and you exclude Pepper, you're a FrostIron shipper.)

I haven't read any Froz3nPizza fanfics, but I sincerely hope that in them, Pepper uses some serious contraception when she's with Loki. Otherwise she'll end up with some kind of monster child. One must always take special precautions with gods, since god-human pairings typically result in demigod offspring. Frankly, I think Pepper should only have Pepperony babies - assuming she trusts Tony enough to let him father a child with her.

On another note, if you want to read a great Avengers-themed blog with actually helpful posts about the business of writing young adult fiction, you must follow YAvengers. It is great.

Maybe I've got all the Avengers stuff out of my system now. Or maybe I rented Thor: The Dark World from the library and plan to watch it over the weekend, possibly reigniting a forest fire of Loki feels.

                                                 Amazon Music: Six Months of Disney+

                                                           This is an affiliate link.

Erin's Dream Diary: The Beltane Fertility Dream

The wheel of the year turns to Beltane, the cross-quarter holiday halfway between the Spring Equinox and the Summer Solstice. Symbolically, this is the time of union and consummation between the God and Goddess, representing renewal of the fertility of the Earth.

Bright blessings to you and yours if you're celebrating Beltane or May Day as a Neopagan, Wiccan, or witch.

Maypole dance. Public domain image by KenL

But this is going to be a personal post. I went to sleep on Beltane Eve, and this is what I dreamed:

I was a high school kid. I had a rare blood condition (probably nothing that exists in real life), so every day after school I had to go to the nurse's station in the school basement to get an injection. Oddly enough, there was another kid at the same school who had the same condition. He was Robert Downey Jr., high school kid version. We were friends.

RDJ: representing masculine energy/the God in my subconscious. Possibly because during the day I'd seen a commercial with Blythe Danner, mother of Gwyneth Paltrow who plays Pepper Pots in the Iron Man movies. I had briefly entertained fantasies of Danner appearing in a future film as Tony Stark's mother-in-law. Hence, the image of Downey as Stark had crossed my mind.

In addition to the nurse's station, the school basement contained the cafeteria, some art classrooms, and a staircase that led up to the gym (much like in the high school I actually went to). After our treatment one day, RDJ and I wandered around the mostly-unoccupied basement. He was joking about wanting to have sex with me.

We found an unguarded stash of snacks bound for the cafeteria and snagged a bag of Cheetos. Then we sat on the gym steps, eating our ill-gotten gains, and I joked that I was sexually aroused by Cheetos.

Cheetos. Public domain image by SCEhardt

Well, playful banter and junk food - one thing leads to another, resulting in actual sex. Then, actual sex again on a second occasion.

We were careful and used condoms both times, but not careful enough, because I became pregnant. Nine months later, we had a beautiful baby girl. Miraculously, she didn't even have our weird blood thing.

At first, he was a pretty cool dad. But then…well, let me back up. I was part of a church group that, on very cold days, would give rides to homeless people and give them warm places to stay temporarily. One cold day when the baby was still only a few months old, I was hanging out with a homeless woman who, if I had been awake, I would have said was my dad's late aunt Marcella. We'll just call her Marcella.

Marcella wanted me to go buy her a bottle of liquor. I said no, because A. I was still only 18 years old, not legal to buy alcohol in the United States, and B. I had to take care of the baby. But I did have access to an airplane-size bottle of some kind of alcoholic beverage, which I gave her.

Creative Commons image by Fernando Carrizo

Marcella complained that she did not like the taste. I gave her a can of Pepsi to mix it with. She didn't care for that either, so I gave her an airplane-size bottle of coconut rum instead. Marcella continued to complain and became increasingly disruptive until I asked her to step outside. We tussled. I had to put her in a bear hug so she didn't beat me up.

At this point, RDJ became very, "Oh, fuck this," and had some of his friends come pick him up. They went out and partied. He stayed out partying with his friends for weeks on end, forgoing his familial responsibilities. I figured I was abandoned and a single parent. Depressing, but I had to keep it together for the kiddo.

But as I was about to graduate from high school and planning to go to an art school, he came back. The party-boy phase was over, and he was ready to settle down. RDJ and I got married - and he turned out to be really good at parenting.

Happily ever after. Because those are the kinds of dreams a romance writer has.

Previous Dream Diary Entries:

A Wonderful Vampire Dream
The Adam Levine Dream
The Boy
The Inspirational Zombie Dream
Window Into the Mind of an Erotica Author
Yugoslavia!

The Hanukkah Hotness, Night 4: Kat Dennings

Happy 4th night of Hanukkah! Tonight's Hebrew hottie is Kat Dennings.



(Sometimes I go boy-girl-boy-girl, but this year it's alphabetical by first name).



I won't lie - I love her wisecracking Max on Two Broke Girls. (It's too bad CBS's Two Broke Girls and Fox's Sleepy Hollow compete in the same time slot, because I love both. Fortunately, Fox also reruns Sleepy Hollow on Fridays.)



The first thing I saw her in was Charlie Bartlett, playing Robert Downey Jr.'s daughter, but I didn't pay her much attention until I became a fan of Max's sass. You may remember her from such films as Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist (based on the book by Rachel Cohn and David Levitan) and Thor.



Before Charlie Bartlett, Dennings was cast in the pilot for a TV series - unfortunately, never picked up - based on Practical Magic. Dennings' website is called Kat Dennings is Fabulous, and she writes diary entries on there. Which is awesome.



She has a sidebar with some of her favorite books, which include The Phantom Tollbooth, Lolita, Kate Mansfield's short stories, and The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.



On Twitter, she is @OfficialKat, and she says things like this:

Goddamn it, snow peas, I don't want you #wontonsoup
— Kat Dennings (@OfficialKat) October 25, 2013

Her parents, Gerald and Ellen Judith Litwack, are a molecular pharmacology professor and a poet respectively.



On TV, her best friend is played by Beth Behrs (is Beth Behrs Jewish? That I don't know. Her last name sounds German-ish, and German-sounding names sometimes indicate Yiddish-speaking ancestors, but by all means not always), and in real life, one of her best friends is Nikki Reed, the Jewish-American actress best known for playing the gorgeous Rosalie Hale in the Twilight movie adaptations.

The Hanukkah Hotness, Night 1: Anton Yelchin

Happy first night of Hanukkah! Let's get directly to our first Hanukkah Hottie of 2013: Anton Yelchin.

public domain image

How do I love Anton Yelchin, an American actor of Russian-Jewish descent? Let me count the ways:

1. He's Charlie Bartlett in Charlie Bartlett, an underrated gem of a film. As a bonus, it has two other beautiful Jews: Robert Downey Jr. and Kat Dennings. (More on Kat Dennings to come.)



2. He's Kyle Reese in Terminator Salvation. (See post from earlier today.) It's the one with Christian Bale - not Jewish, as one might guess from his Christian name, but still hot - so double nom.



3. Fright Night. With Colin Farrell as a sexy-ass (but evil) vampire. Double nom again.



By the way, this movie has two pretty cool songs on its soundtrack:

"Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People

"99 Problems" by Hugo

4. Star Trek. I'm not the big Trekkie of the house - that would be Tit Elingtin. My favorite Trek franchise is actually Voyager, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy the latest reboot of the films. It's full of man candy: melted-chocolate-eyed Zachary Quinto, Chris Pine, Karl Urban (love me some Eomer), nerd king Simon Pegg, John Cho's fine ass...but Pavel Andreievich Chekov steals every scene he's in with that accent and Yelchin's curly-headed adorableness.



Yelchin's actually 24 now, but he still looks 18.





This is my favorite one of him. It's a scientific fact that men are hotter when they have books in their hands.



It's a good thing we're The People of the Book. Middle Eastern cultures are some of the oldest literate societies in the world (along with China). The Jewish culture's lengthy history with books totally explains James Franco - but more on that later.

Happy Hanukkah!

https://amzn.to/43Wpbru - this is an affiliate link

Oh How Pinteresting Wednesday: Back to School Tips

Since my nieces Eira and Lydia are headed back to school today, starting the fourth and second grades respectively (just like Bart and Lisa Simpson!), today's Oh How Pinteresting! will be on a Back to School theme.

Start each day with a wholesome breakfast.



It's important to have high-quality school supplies, and preferably, ones that won't get confused with anyone else's.





The right accessories will really help you get in the school spirit.



Reading isn't just for school hours! Read for pleasure at least 20 minutes every day.



Be sure to pack a nutritious lunch.



Remember that math does, in fact, have many real-life applications.



Find the perfect spot to get a little homework done.



Finally, keep in mind that if you don't apply yourself...

https://amzn.to/42KrbC8 - this is an affiliate link

SOC Sunday: It is really, really hard to love someone with an addiction

Stopping by from Reading-Romances.com's Romancing the Valentine Giveaway Hop? Please find the giveaway post HERE.

The Vampires for Valentines giveaway post is HERE.

Today’s (Optional) Writing Prompt: Celebrities and drugs – do you judge harshly, have mercy, or fit somewhere in between?

If you blogged this writing prompt, please link up at AllThingsFadra.

Let me begin by saying that one of hte matriarchs of my family had multiple drug and alcohol addictions. When I was a child, she was largely in recovery, and this was not apparent to me. I was aware of it, but it didn't affect me until she got older. After a bout with cancer, she began drinking heavily again and starting using codeine.

I know it's possible to love, truly love, a person with an addiction. It's also necessary to put up very strict - loving, but firm - boundaries around that person. Addicts are very manipulative. They'll do anything to keep using. It's not only destructive to themselves, it's destructive to everyone and everything around them. It's not wrong to protect ourselves and those we value from their downward spiral. It's not cruel or unloving. Enabling is far more cruel, even though it may seem like the kinder option at times.

My family member died of an unrelated accident just as she was beginning to enter recovery - very sad. I do not judge people harshly for using addictive drugs, although I do mourn the circumstances that may have led them to that decision.

However, I am optimistic about the possibility of recovery. Case in point: Robert Downey, Jr. In the '90s, he seemed certain to be doomed to a life of prison and early death. Now he's freaking IRON MAN. It's such a joy that this beautiful and talented actor lived to see his own success. It's wonderful that his kids got their father back.



I was a bit surprised this morning to learn of Whitney Houston's death at the age of 48. I don't judge her harshly. I do choose to remember her for her beautiful music.

It took me longer than 5 minutes to write that. I cheated, but only because it was a topic I felt passionate about. 

The Hanukkah Hotness, Night 1: Robert Downey Jr.

Happy first night of Hanukkah! I love how the Festival of Lights falls around the Winter Solstice this year. This is my Hanukkah gift to you, my readers: eight crazy nights of Hanukkah Hebrew hotties. First up is a guy I mentioned in my Howl post the other day as one of David Strathairn's co-stars in Good Night, and Good Luck: Robert Downey Jr. (originally, Robert Elias.)

I have a confession to make: for years, I thought Robert Downey, Jr. was bisexual. I don't know where I got such information (probably from National Enquirer, which Yiddish grandma used to read with regularity, then pass on to me), but it doesn't seem to be true. All his significant relationships have been with women, including the red-hot Yiddish mama Sarah Jessica Parker. I won't hold being a straight guy against him, but it does ruin my vision of RDJ ascending into GLBT heaven, where he would sit at the right hand of James Dean. Amen.

(In actual spiritual practice, RDJ does not believe in heaven. He's a combination of Jewish, Buddhist and Hare Krishna.)

He is in a particularly awesome Elton John video. I love that this is one continuous take, no cuts.



RDJ is best known as Iron Man and Sherlock Holmes these days, but he got his start acting in Less Than Zero, the film adaptation of possibly the second-best Bret Easton Ellis novel, after American Psycho. This landed him in a Bangles video, the Simon & Garfunkel cover from the soundtrack. (As an added bonus, Bangles lead singer Susanna Hoffs is also Jewish!)



He's also a Shakespearean actor: he was in Richard III with Sir Ian McKellan and Dominic West. (West played Lysander in the 1999 A Midsummer Night's Dream - with David Strathairn.)

Photo by Alan Light

Join me HERE on December 28th for a special Hanukkah post and giveaway.

Howl, and One Lovely Blog Award from Shah Wharton

Everyone over the age of 16 should see the movie Howl, starring James Franco as American poet Allen Ginsberg. It's a brilliant film about a seminal American book. Every word of dialogue comes from Ginsberg's poetry and writings or the transcript of the obscenity trial to which the book's publisher was subjected. (The publisher won.)

James Franco is a fine actor, and I like him in this, but I don't quite buy the illusion of him as Allen Ginsberg. He doesn't quite have the right spirit. Maybe that's just because I so admire Ginsberg and his poetry. When he died in 1997, losing his cancer battle at only 71, I grieved for his loss as if I knew him. I didn't know him, except through his words, but that's what good poetry does to you. When the poet dies, a little part of the reader dies, too.

The movie also has David Strathairn, as the prosecutor in the obscenity trial. Why do I love David Strathairn? For playing the regal Theseus in A Midsummer Night's Dream. (The Hippolyta opposite him isn't very Amazonian, but it's too late to go back and fix that now.) He's kind of big in literature-based films. If you're a huge fan of children's books and their screen adaptations, you may know him as Arthur Spiderwick in The Spiderwick Chronicles. If you're a fan of Stephen King adaptations, you might known him as Dolores Claiborne's asshole husband. However, his best-known role may be as Edward R. Murrow in Good Night, and Good Luck, an intriguing historical drama with the hotness factor of George Clooney + Robert Downey, Jr. (That one was not based on a book; Clooney wrote it with Grant Heslov.)

(This is Titania and Bottom, not Theseus and Hippolyta, but we do know from the play that Theseus and Titania had been lovers.)

I wrote a derivative poem once, based on "Footnote to Howl." I call it "Moist Howlette."

"Sacred! Sacred! Sacred! My poet, my prophet, my Jewish saint and guru declares that all is sacred!

The world is divine! The soul is divine! The skin is sacred! The vulva is sacred! The tongue and cock and hand and asshole sacred!

Everybody’s sacred! Everywhere’s sacred! Every thing is sacred! Every day is an eternity! Every man and woman is an angel!

The sacred whore’s as holy as the seraphim! The sex worker is holy as you my soul are holy! The clitoral orgasm’s as sacred as the vaginal orgasm!

The keyboard is sacred the poem is sacred the voice is sacred the hearers and readers are sacred the ecstasy is sacred!

Holy Erin holy Allen holy Purrrrrrrrr holy Kathryn E holy Walt Whitman holy Joan Jett holy fuckers holy every human angel!

Sacred the vibrators! Sacred, the cock and the cock ring and the clit and the clit ring!

Sacred the groaning saxophone! Sacred the orgasm apocalypse! Sacred the womb scrotum balls peace and junk and drums!

Sacred the solitudes of men’s rooms and elevators! Sacred the strip clubs filled with the millions! Sacred the mysterious rivers of cum and pussy juice and blood and sweat and tears under the sheets!

Sacred the lesbian and the gay man! Sacred the bisexual! Sacred the straight feminist and sexual shepherds of rebellion!

Sacred forgiveness! Mercy! Charity! Faith! Love! Affection! Touch! Sacred! Ours! Bodies! Pain and pleasure! Magnanimity!

Sacred the supernatural extra brilliant intelligent kindness of Allen Ginsberg’s dear departed soul!"

And now for something completely different.

This award comes from Shah Wharton, writer extraordinaire and proprietress of Words in Sync. As an award recipient, I'm supposed to pass the award along to 15 other bloggers.

These are 15 of the most fabulous-est blogs, in alphabetical order:

Catch the Rush
DAT's So Cute
Dorothy Surrenders
For the Love of Blogs
Gee/K/Ink
Gene's Rattle Bag
Jeffrey Beesler's World of the Scribe
Little Luck Tree
Mom's Bookshelf and More
Poetry and Zombies
The Best of Everything
The Demon Stole My Pencil
The Gypsy Art Show
Where Fantasy and Love Take Flight
Word Up, Nerd Up

Quite an eclectic collection, is it not?

If your blog is on the list, this post serves as your notification that you've been awarded. Thanks again, Shah!

James Franco image: Charlotte Badalucco, Creative Commons license