The Hanukkah Hotness, Night 1: Anton Yelchin

Happy first night of Hanukkah! Let's get directly to our first Hanukkah Hottie of 2013: Anton Yelchin.

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How do I love Anton Yelchin, an American actor of Russian-Jewish descent? Let me count the ways:

1. He's Charlie Bartlett in Charlie Bartlett, an underrated gem of a film. As a bonus, it has two other beautiful Jews: Robert Downey Jr. and Kat Dennings. (More on Kat Dennings to come.)



2. He's Kyle Reese in Terminator Salvation. (See post from earlier today.) It's the one with Christian Bale - not Jewish, as one might guess from his Christian name, but still hot - so double nom.



3. Fright Night. With Colin Farrell as a sexy-ass (but evil) vampire. Double nom again.



By the way, this movie has two pretty cool songs on its soundtrack:

"Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People

"99 Problems" by Hugo

4. Star Trek. I'm not the big Trekkie of the house - that would be Tit Elingtin. My favorite Trek franchise is actually Voyager, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy the latest reboot of the films. It's full of man candy: melted-chocolate-eyed Zachary Quinto, Chris Pine, Karl Urban (love me some Eomer), nerd king Simon Pegg, John Cho's fine ass...but Pavel Andreievich Chekov steals every scene he's in with that accent and Yelchin's curly-headed adorableness.



Yelchin's actually 24 now, but he still looks 18.





This is my favorite one of him. It's a scientific fact that men are hotter when they have books in their hands.



It's a good thing we're The People of the Book. Middle Eastern cultures are some of the oldest literate societies in the world (along with China). The Jewish culture's lengthy history with books totally explains James Franco - but more on that later.

Happy Hanukkah!

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Getting a Rise From the Machines: 'Terminator' As Erotica

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A Post Blogged by an Idiot, Full of Sound and Fury, Signifying Nothing

Melange Books has released The Smell of Gas, an erotic, pulp-style crime thriller by your humble author and her husband Tit Elingtin. It's available now in print and e-book formats. I don't want to blog about it here, though. I already blogged about it today on Breaking In Before Breaking Down. I would rather blog about...breakfast.

It was a fine, sunny morning in my home town this morning, so Tit Elingtin walked over to our usual breakfast spot, then went on a 3-mile walk along the river. I had the pancake special, chocolate chip pancakes. Delicious. Along with the chunks of candy in my breakfast, I was also treated to a hunk of eye candy, a guy at a table across from us who looked just like Sam Worthington. (I wish I had a Hunk du Jour photo to link to, but somehow HdJ has managed to miss the Aussie stunner.) Well, almost just like - this guy's hair was a little redder.

Many of you will remember Sam Worthington from Avatar. I like to remember him from Terminator: Salvation, because, well, I just like to think about Christian Bale.

I also like to remember Sam Worthington's interpretation of MacBeth. Those who love Claire and Leo in the contemporary telling of Romeo + Juliet (may Pete Postlethwaite rest in peace - best Friar Laurence ever!) will enjoy the 2006 version of MacBeth starring Worthington. I like the sexy, redheaded Scottish witches. They're like a trio of soothsaying Shirley Mansons.



This weekend I have rented, but have not yet watched, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead. Should be a good one, though. It has Hamlet, vampires and a score by Sean Lennon. So far, the best film take I've seen on the Hamlet story remains Royal Deceit, with Gabriel Byrne, Kate Beckinsale and Christian Bale. Not just Christian Bale, but a NAKED TEENAGE Christian Bale. Best Shakespearean version? I like Ethan Hawke's attempt. Julia Stiles is a particularly charming Ophelia.

Do not get me started on the Mel Gibson version of Hamlet. I will no longer watch films with that anti-Semitic, misogynistic douchebag. Except maybe Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome; Mel is canceled out by Tina Turner, feminist icon supreme and possible reincarnation of ancient Egyptian woman-pharaoh Hatshepsut.

Sooooo anyway, Sam Worthington's redder-haired doppelganger sat in the restaurant, eating sausages off a fork in a way that would make an erotica writer with an active imagination think impure thoughts. In stepped a cute woman with a ponytail, approximately Sam 2's age, and I thought they would make a good couple. They would have adorable babies. Because, you know, babies are what you're supposed to be thinking about when it's a warm spring day, you're surrounded by egg and bunny decorations and everybody's getting ready to celebrate Ostara.

I would like to have some brilliant post connecting the Pagan celebration of Ostara with Jewish Passover and Christian Easter, since Passover was this week and it is Easter weekend. I don't. I have this, a post blogged by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. (I promise you a worthy Beltane post on May 1.) Buy a copy of The Smell of Gas!

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Amber Chen's Hottest Sci-Fi Couples

Today's post is a commentary on a Gather.com [defunct] post titled "The Hottest Sci-Fi Couples on Film" by Amber Chen. I love this list so much, I just have to share.

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Princess Leia and Han Solo (Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford)

Amber says: "Sure, it was only a PG relationship, but there was plenty of playfully sarcastic banter and escalating sexual tension between the princess and her hero. One of their best moments is in The Empire Strikes Back, in the Millennium Falcon engine room, when Han starts rubbing Leia's injured fingers. When Leia feebly protests that her hands are dirty, Han leans in and purrs, 'My hands are dirty, too; what are you afraid of?' The whole exchange is hotter than hot, even if he is a scoundrel--well, because he's a scoundrel."

Erin says: Han Solo was my first crush when I was a little girl. Then I got a little older and used to dream about Han and Leia both. Okay, sometimes I still do. I think it's sexy that Matthew Davis, who plays Alaric Saltzman on The Vampire Diaries, looks like a Han Solo-era Harrison Ford.

Sarah Conner and Kyle Reese (Linda Hamilton and Michael Biehn)

Amber says: "Sarah and Kyle had a passion born out of adrenaline, of Sarah depending on Kyle for her very survival, and Kyle depending on Sarah for survival of the species. You can't get any more intense than that. It doesn't hurt that Sarah and Kyle are both blond beauties, and Kyle makes his entrance to the world of the past completely naked. Then there's the love scene, all passionate kissing with an undercurrent of reverential tenderness. What makes it even hotter? The handsome Kyle has been lonely in his apocalyptic future world, and is most likely a virgin."

Erin says: I've also found the Terminator franchise surprisingly sexy, an opinion I shared in "Getting A Rise From the Machines: Terminator as Erotica." The sex under James Cameron’s direction isn’t explicit, but the loving close-up of their intertwined fingers tells the viewer everything she needs to know about John Connor’s conception. And with the release of Terminator: Salvation, it becomes clear John Connor grows up to resemble Christian Bale, the mere sight of whom moistens panties the world over. Adult John Connor also has a hot wife, played by Ms. Bryce Dallas Howard.

Richard B. Riddick and Carolyn Fry (Vin Diesel and Radha Mitchell)

Amber says: "Sure, they weren't exactly a couple, but you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. A really scary, sharp knife, the kind Riddick likes. It starts as merely pervy innuendo on Riddick's side, but his interest in Fry increases when she proves she's just as tough as he is."

Erin says: Yeah, I don't have an opinion on this one. I saw Pitch Black but don't list it among my favorite films.

Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker (Ewan McGregor and Hayden Christensen)

Amber says: "Call it a bromance, or revel in the homoerotic subtext, but you have to admit these two had more chemistry than Anakin and Padme. Obi-Wan was all handsome nobility and valor, trying to mold his gorgeous young and passionate student into the perfect Jedi. That's hot."

Erin says: I would've picked Obi-Wan Kenobi and his mentor, Qui-Gon Jinn, played by Liam Neeson. For years after The Phantom Menace came out, I entertained fantasies of Ewan and Liam realizing their on-set attraction was real. Ewan, in my fancy, knew he was bisexual all along. Liam realized he was a deeply closeted gay man and, after much soul-searching, managed an amicable split from Natasha Richardson. (Rest in peace, Natasha.)

Now, enjoy a cheesy fan video.

A Modern Day Witch Hunt by Kiki Howell (review)

Kamillia, the heroine of Kiki Howell’s A Modern Day Witch Hunt (eXcessica Publishing, 2009), is like a female version of Harry Potter, mixed with Sookie Stackhouse and Sarah Connor.

Kamillia, as far as she knows, is a fantasy writer. Like Harry Potter, she has no idea of her true powers. She’s a witch, just as her parents were. Like Harry, Kamillia lost her parents to an evil group of dark wizards. Like Charlaine Harris’s Sookie Stackhouse, Kamillia can read minds, an ability that has made it difficult for her to fit in with others. Like Sookie, the orphaned Kamillia was raised by a fiercely honest, deeply beloved grandmother.

Luca, a Watcher who appears to be eternally twenty-five years old, was sent to protect her. This part of the story reminds me of Kyle Reese and Sarah Connor in the original Terminator movie. Like Kyle and Sarah, Luca and Kamillia are headed down an inevitable path of attraction. Unlike Kyle, Luca sees colorful auras swirling around human beings. He’s acutely sensitive to emotions, and the way human emotions affect the world around them.

The sex? Scorching, yet still achingly romantic and mystical. The sadness? Just as overwhelming. Although Luca and Kamillia feel an inexorable attraction to one another, his job as a Watcher, watching over the river of life, means he will inevitable have to leave her. When Kamillia and Luca must travel to Florence, Italy, they learn their lives have been linked for centuries. Are they destined to be star-crossed lovers for eternity, or will the universe finally let them be together? It will take a powerful kind of magic to right the wrongs that have been done to them, but Luca just might know a way.

A Modern Day Witch Hunt on Amazon