Grey: Fifty Shades of Grey as Told by Christian

I finally finished listening to the audio book version of Grey: Fifty Shades of Grey as Told by Christian by E.L. James. I must say, I genuinely enjoyed it, in no small part to the voice acting talent of Zachary Webber.

Many of my thoughts about this audio book are captured in my status updates over the two months it took me to "read" this book on my commute. (Click on the image or zoom to make it more readable.)

I enjoyed this as a lengthy and complicated piece of Twilight fan fiction, and I find that I genuinely care about these fictional characters. I want Ana and Christian to succeed as a couple. Of course we know they do - they finish as a nice married couple with two children - but they're actually broken up at the end of the first novel of the trilogy. It's a downer ending, made somewhat more hopeful in this version.

I really do get a kick out of the way Kate irks Christian.

But I still don't want to see the movie. Jamie Dornan is quite attractive, and being a person of Northern Irish descent myself I quite like him, but I like my imaginary Christian Grey better. He doesn't resemble any living person that I know of, although from here on out he may sound like Zachary Webber in my imagination.

I do think Kristen Stewart would have made an amazing Ana, though. That's not a slight against Dakota Johnson. I find her beautiful and charming.

Dakota Johnson. Creative Commons image by GabboT

I feel especially compelled to protect and defend the young Ms. Johnson, and I suppose it's because I've long felt compelled to protect her mother, Melanie Griffith. Do you all remember The Bust Guide to the New Girl Order?

It was first published in 1999, and it's very, very '90s. It represents some of the early work featured in the women's magazine, which started out as a small feminist/girl culture zine, itself a very 1990s concept. I mention the anthology because it contains an essay called "Bring Me the Head of Melanie Banderas" by Sarah Feldman writing as Dixie LaRue. It's much meaner and snarkier than what Bust publishes today, and it's all about what a terrible actress and human being Melanie Griffith (married to Antonio Banderas at the time) is.

Like a Judge-y Judy, Dixie LaRue recounts Griffith's crimes against womankind, including getting multiple tattoos (!) and having breast implants. Body shaming much? She takes Griffith to task for starring in sexist movies but doesn't question why the movie-going public lets filmmakers get away with pernicious gender stereotyping and sexist slander. It's very old school, and it makes me want to wrap Griffith in a nice warm blanket, hand her a latte, and assure her she's worthy of love and respect.

So, with absolutely no offense meant to Jamie Dornan or Dakota Johnson, I'll just watch the "movie" inside my head and fan-cast it with the Twilight cast members.

"Lelliot" hates jellyfish.

If I were summing up this book in one sentence, it would be, "A brave woman explores the limits of her sexuality; a recovering abuse victim explores the limits of his emotional vulnerability." And I liked it.

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#CurrentlyReading (and Dreaming of) 'Andy Warhol Was a Hoarder' by Claudia Kalb

Goodreads Summary: "Was Andy Warhol a hoarder? Did Einstein have autism? Was Frank Lloyd Wright a narcissist? In this surprising, inventive, and meticulously researched look at the evolution of mental health, acclaimed health and science journalist Claudia Kalb gives readers a glimpse into the lives of high-profile historic figures through the lens of modern psychology, weaving groundbreaking research into biographical narratives that are deeply embedded in our culture. From Marilyn Monroe's borderline personality disorder to Charles Darwin's anxiety, Kalb provides compelling insight into a broad range of maladies, using historical records and interviews with leading mental health experts, biographers, sociologists, and other specialists. Packed with intriguing revelations, this smart narrative brings a new perspective to one of the hottest new topics in today's cultural conversation."

I got this book free, in exchange for an honest review, from Amazon.com's Vine program. To be perfectly honest, I chose it based on a misunderstanding. It has a chapter on Charles DARWIN, but I thought there was a chapter on Charles DICKENS. Oliver Sacks wrote in Hallucinations that Dickens had "a haunted mind" and I've been meaning to find out why.

Still, maybe it's just because I was a psychology major, but I could barely put this book down. I went to bed at 10 last night, but I stayed awake reading past 11:30.

Right before I woke up this morning, I was dreaming of a version of Romeo and Juliet, in which instead of members of warring families, the issue between the couple was that she was an "ordinary" American teenager. She was 18-19 years old, like Diana Spencer was when she got engaged to Prince Charles. Princess Diana has a chapter in Andy Warhol; she was famously a victim of bulimia nervosa.

The "Romeo" in my dream was Hugh Jackman. His rather condescending, sort of Fitzwilliam Darcy-esque dialogue made reference to the fact that he was a famous, wealthy Australian used to having servants bring him alcoholic drinks, and she didn't have money, name recognition, or staff.

(A bit of Christian Grey/Ana Steele got in there, too. I'm now on disc 15 of the 16-disc audiobook Grey. The Shakespearean bit is, no doubt, because the First Folio exhibit just opened at the University of Notre Dame, next to my birthplace of South Bend, Indiana. I intend to go visit the Folio this month.)

The plot in this dream-version of the play had to do with Hugh and his love interest finding Ron Weasley, because apparently it was also a version of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. J.K. Rowling isn't featured in Kalb's book, but the author has also been candid about her personal mental illness. She's a sufferer of major depressive illness, which informed her depiction of the Dementors in Harry and Ron's world.

I guess even after I put the book up and went to bed, my brain didn't want to stop reading. I wonder if my brain was clever enough to dream in accurate iambic pentameter?

#OutOfPrint #RareBook Alert: 'Hearts of Tomorrow' Speculative Fiction Anthology

Hearts of Tomorrow, the speculative fiction anthology that features my short story "Melusine's Secret," is going out of print. It's already gone from Lulu.com and from the publisher's website.

Read an excerpt here.

Here's where you can get your paperback copy while you still can:

AbeBooks

Amazon U.S.

Amazon Canada

Angus Robertson (Australia)

eBay 1

eBay 2

Please note that I can't make any additional money if you buy these copies. I just think they'd be fun to have.

'The Lullaby of Polish Girls' by Dagmara Domińczyk #ReadWomen #BookReview

The Lullaby of Polish Girls by Dagmara Domińczyk

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Maybe I'm biased in favor of this book because I'm a Polish-American, with nearly every ancestor on my mother's side of the family emigrating from Warsaw in the early 1900s. It might help that I know simply phrases like "Dzien dobry" without having to look them up. Maybe I'm biased in favor of this book because I love The Count of Monte Cristo and the movie version in which the author starred as Mercedes. Either way, I felt attached to the characters from the very first page.

The writing flowed smoothly, never distracting me from the absorbing tale of three very different women who became friends as children. Their paths diverged, then all came back together. I thought it was a well-crafted novel as well as a well-written one.

 I chose to read it in December 2015 as part of the #ReadWomen initiative, but I'd recommend it at any time, to anyone who loves a good story.

Writer Tit Elingtin #Dialysis Treatment - Help The Writer Reach His Goal

Walk a mile in Tit Elingtin's shoes as he does his dialysis treatment and shares a special message. 

Please take 2 minutes to see what it's like to be stuck in a dialysis chair. Then LIKE and SHARE. Thanks!




...and don't forget to subscribe to Tit's YouTube channel!

Erin's Dream Diary #10

I haven't done a Dream Diary since January, so let's do a quick one now.

I dreamed I was a young, lithe Hunger Games tribute. I went in search of Santa Claus. By an astonishing coincidence, he lived in the house directly across the back fence from my parents' house, where the parents of my childhood best friend Amy used to live. I wanted to tell him my Christmas wish, which was to rid myself of the residual trauma of the arena. 

My particular trauma took on a psychotic-break-with-reality quality. I believed I was being haunted by an evil spirit named Henry. Henry was my tormentor and my lover. I wasn't bothered by the sexual part of our relationship.

Santa's house, it turned out, was filled with runaway tributes. We even had a leader - Max from Divergent. I guess I got my YA trilogies mixed up. 

And the Christmas wish part was probably due to reading The Lullaby of Polish Girls by Dagmara Dominiczyk. It has several Christmas scenes. You may remember the author as the actress who played Mercedes opposite Jim Caviezel's Edmond Dantes in The Count of Monte Cristo.

Listening to on my hour-long commute: Grey by E.L. James. I'm on disc 6 of 16.

Reading on my lunch hours: Jane and the Damned by Janet Mullany

Jane Austen, vampire

Previous Dream Diary Installments:

A Wonderful Vampire Dream
The Adam Levine Dream
The Beltane Fertility Dream

The Ben Affleck Storm Trooper Dream
The Boy
The Inspirational Zombie Dream
Wall Street
Window Into the Mind of an Erotica Author
Yugoslavia!

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'Life and Death: Twilight Reimagined' #Review

Life and Death: Twilight Reimagined by Stephenie Meyer

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

When this new, gender-swapped version of Twilight came out on the same day as Carry On and the illustrated Harry Potter #1, I was very excited. I knew I had to read it. Despite all the criticism I've read and heard about the Twilight Saga, I still get the thrill of early first love when I read Edward and Bella's story or watch one of the movies. Is it perfect? No. Do I like it anyway? Yes.

As I began reading the story of Beaufort (Beau) Swan, human, and Edythe Cullen, vampire, I found myself enjoying it. Sure, I was a little distracted by trying to figure out how the new characters corresponded to the old ones. And yes, I was a bit critical inside my mind of some of the new names. I really don't care for the name Archie at all - I keep picturing the comic book character and not a gender-swapped Alice. I think I would like Earnest better as a name if it were spelled "Ernest," as in Mr. Hemingway. Eleanor seems a little frumpy for such a beautiful woman.

Most of the names, I like. I like Joss, Jessamine, and Royal. I like Royal's man-bun. I wish I had a visual reference for regal, blond Royal with his hair in a masculine up 'do.

Even though the ending of this book is quite conclusive - no room for three sequels - and different from the original - and frankly sad - I'm mostly satisfied with the familiar joy I gleaned from this story. Again. Hey, I've read Wuthering Heights at least four different times, and I still love that. Twilight sticks with me like that. (And a lot of people hate Heathcliff and Catherine, too. But I'm not one of them. They're deeply flawed as people, yes, but still great characters.) I'm happy to get the chance to revisit it in a fresh new incarnation.

I borrowed this book from my local library and was not obligated in any way to review it.