Worst. Episode. Ever. ~ in which I am emotionally traumatized by #PersonOfInterest ***SPOILERS***

***SPOILERS***

First, a bit of business: Kelly Walker's $50 giveaway entry form is at this post.

Second, a serious note: November 20th is Transgender Day of Remembrance, a solemn event for remembering human lives lost to anti-transgender violent. The victims of such violence are almost always trans*women, often people of color, and often sex workers. It's an opportunity to devote ourselves anew to respecting all transgendered people - but especially our trans* sisters - and to continue fighting misogyny, hurtful gender stereotypes, racism, prejudice against sex workers, and all the places where these deadly attitudes intersect. Today we remember that all human lives have value, and that the most vulnerable members of our society need our support.

You don't have to love sex work, but you do have to respect sex workers as your fellow human beings.

***SPOILERS START HERE***

Now on to a more "lighthearted" subject, which is nonetheless ripping my heart in two. Fictional characters are bastards. They have a tendency to die at the most inconvenient times, such as when one gets extremely attached to them. I'm extremely attached to Jocelyn (Joss) Carter on Person of Interest, and here in the middle of Season 3, the writers have killed her off.

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I probably should be angry, as angry as all those Veronica Roth fans who returned their copies of Allegiant to the bookstore because they were so chagrined by that thing that happens at the end. (Go here if you want the spoiler-y book review.) Maybe I haven't gotten to the anger stage yet; I'm still processing the grief.

Yes, I'm grieving over a TV character. Her death is so sudden, so horrendous, such a betrayal of the loyal audience. It felt like a cheap ratings stunt, a shocker ending designed to get a gasp out of the viewer. Let me tell you a thing about Joss Carter: she was a complete badass. She was a strong, stable police detective, a Gulf War II veteran and former military interrogator, competent and honest in her job. She was a single mom, divorced from a fellow vet - a good man who was loyal to their son and dealing with his PTSD issues. She was a good partner to Lionel Fusco, a good mom, and still not some perfect Mary Sue it was impossible to like.

She was realistically strong, not cartoonishly so. (I can admit it: Sam Shaw is a bit cartoonish at times.) She was everything you wanted a female character on network TV to be.

Joss is played by Taraji P. Henson, an African-American woman. How many successful network TV shows feature an African-American woman as one of four principle characters? Not as many as we would like. We could not afford to lose Taraji from network TV. She's an amazing actor, gifted in both lighthearted comedic scenes and heavy drama. She was a staple of this show, its anchor. She was the moral center, even more so than Harold Finch. This literally will be a different show from here on out.

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I don't think I'll like it nearly as much. The other badass women - Root, Zoe Morgan and Shaw - are little comfort. They aren't Joss.

The worst part, though? The kiss. Yep, in the last hours of Joss's life, she finally learned John Reese's real feelings about her. They showed each other their scars; we learned she almost died from a landmine explosion and again when she gave birth to Taylor. My heart leapt; I had visions of John and Joss kissing each other's scars as they slowly undressed one another. He confessed to her that she saved his life; he was going to kill himself before the day they met, when she showed concern for him.

Then he touched her face, very tenderly. Then he leaned in (he's very tall) and kissed her. Joss's beautiful face was even more so afterward. You could see the love reflected in her beautiful eyes. Taraji has such beautiful eyes. CaReese was going to happen! They loved each other, I know it! I was in such a state of bliss - though still worried they were going to kill my beloved Lionel.

Then (Erin typed through her tears) that motherfucker Patrick Simmons shot her in the street, and she died in John's arms, calling for Taylor. Horrible Cloud Atlas flashbacks. The Frobisher-Sixsmith feels all over again.

I loved FourTris, but they weren't my One True Pairing. CaReese was my OTP. She deserved so much better than this. She deserved all the happiness. How is one supposed to take it when half of one's OTP is dead?

Excuse me for crossing fandoms, but I feel like I've been attacked by a dementor. I feel like I'll never be cheerful again. My brain wants to play me a jukebox worth of sad songs, and my infinite sadness playlist wouldn't let me sleep last night. Professor Lupin, can you bring me some chocolate, stat?

No, you can't. J.K. Rowling killed you. Fictional characters are bastards, dying at such inconvenient times. Person of Interest, go to the corner and think about what you've done.

If anything happens to Abbie Mills on Sleepy Hollow, TV, I swear to all the gods...