My first boyfriend, Shane, asked to borrow my car one weekend. He didn’t tell me where he was going. I knew right away that this wasn’t a good idea. I realized over the next week or so that Shane wasn’t a good idea. I broke up with him.
This levelheadedness when it came to the opposite sex has served me well. My second boyfriend, Phil, kept eyeballing my sister Francis. I gave him the boot. Phil was followed by Victor. Victor had a good run, but I also knew that the end would come sooner or later. When he left, I was sad, but not devastated.
After Victor came Steve. Steve stole my ATM card one weekend. I testified against him. He’s now serving six years on a similar charge.
I, Liv Stenke, am not a foolish woman. I’m not given to falling so madly in love with a man that I can’t see his flaws. At the age of twenty-eight, I was determined that no matter how fine a man’s body, no matter how earth-shattering the sex, I wouldn’t lose my head.
This was before I’d heard of Dante Sugar.
The first time I heard the name Dante Sugar, I was at the county records building on business. I was in the ladies’ room, freshening my rock-candy-pink lipstick in the gold-rimmed mirror over the speckled marble sink. Two women who worked in the county assessor’s office sat in adjoining stalls, apparently not realizing that I was there.
“Guess who was at the concert in the park last night?” the first said. “Dante Sugar.”
I wasn’t even sure she’d heard her right. Dante, as in the thirteenth-century Italian poet? Sugar, as in the stuff you sprinkle on your grapefruit in the morning? What kind of name was that?
The second broke out in a lascivious guffaw. “Oh my God,” she said.
The first woman chortled. “What’s so sweet about Dante Sugar, anyway?”
“Oh my God,” said the second woman, apparently of limited vocabulary. “How about his sweet little ass? Or that sweet little sports car he drives around in? You’ve got to be kidding me. How could you look at Dante Sugar and not just want to ride him until you break it off? How can you even hear his name and not fall totally in love with him?”
“I heard his name,” I said. That shut the women up quickly. “And I’m not totally in love with him. As a matter of fact, this Dante Sugar sounds like an arrogant prick.”
The name was stuck in my head, though.
Thus begins "Herbert," the first story in The Erotica Anthology by Erin O'Riordan (your humble blogger here) and her husband, Tit Elingtin.
Naked Honesty Time: I gave this book the wrong title. I consider myself fairly literate and well-read, but no one ever told me that “anthology” meant “collection of multiple authors’ works” until AFTER I published this collection at CafePress.com. The original title remains, even though this isn’t technically an anthology at all. It’s simply a collection of some of my works.
Book Blurb: Erin O'Riordan has contributed smart, honest short stories, articles and film reviews to Playgirl, Hustler Fantasies, and quality webzines including Clean Sheets, The Erotic Woman, and Oysters & Chocolate. This collection showcases some of the short stories, along with an excerpt of her full length novel, Beltane (Pagan Spirits Book One), from Eternal Press.
Herbert: Exclusive to this anthology, a dark and sexy faery tale
Beltane: The original short story of Pagan magic that launched the Pagan Spirits erotic romance series
Anatomy Lesson: An erotic tribute to Our Bodies, Ourselves.
900: Gender-bendy tale in which a bisexual woman has a phone sex encounter with a gay-for-pay man
Innocent: Zach meets his virgin bride-to-be for the first time and finds out she isn't so innocent after all
Going With the Flow: The one that was published in Playgirl: a kayak ride with a happy ending
New to this edition of the "anthology:"
Cinnamon Honey Bear: Submissive husband, mild bondage, kitchen stuffs used in bedroom
Tile Job: Girl only
Experimental: American Tori is a scientist; Welshman Quill is her experimental subject
Get It Now For Only $9.99: https://www.createspace.com/3631170
Other Editions: We published this first at CafePress, and you can still get that print version - but it COSTS MORE and has FEWER STORIES. You can also get the shorter version as an e-book from Smashwords for $.99.
Get the print one from CreateSpace. It's good. You'll like it.
Naked Honesty Time, Pt. 2: I need to sell a lot of books, more than I've ever sold before. As my husband stated on his blog the other day (May 23), he wants to avoid going on disability for his kidney disease. You might see us standing on a street corner with a sign that says, "Buy my books." This is my virtual sign. Buy our books!
Beltane (erotic romance novel)
Midsummer Night (erotic romance novel, book 2)
Eminent Domain (crime thriller)