Happy Lil' Cupcake

Happy Beltane! I'm a happy lil' cupcake today.

You know what made me a happy lil' cupcake yesterday? This, from http://caviezus.tumblr.com/. Bear with my obsessive fangirling for a moment. Beltane has always been about lust and celebrating new life. (We'll get to the new life in a moment.) It's totally relevant.

These fictional characters are John Reese and Harold Finch, drawn yaoi-style.Yaoi Reese has really big hands. I like that. His hair part's on the wrong side, but...that's not...a big deal.

There's a certain internal logic to Reese/Finch, a.k.a. Rinch - they're really each the only person the other can completely trust. They have all that nerd/jock rivalry tension. But believe me, I can imagine any character bi, and even to me, these two vibe very straight.

Plus, Reese and Josselyn Carter have mad chemistry. They make sense, too - she's ex-military, he's rogue CIA. Those two should be knocking boots enhanced interrogation-style by mid-season two.

On the other hand, Rinch has a better chance of ending HEA than Reese/Carter. Assuming the CIA doesn't ultimately succeed in killing Reese, bet he ends up in living out his days in some Unabomber shack in the Pacific Northwest. Carter's plenty tough enough to be a survivalist chick, but her son Taylor keeps her connected to the outside world. I can't see Carter abandoning Taylor. Finch, on the other hand, has no such anchor - that we know of - yet.

P.S. If you want to read a romantic suspense novel about a CIA agent living out his days in a Unabomber shack, Intimate Strangers by Laura Taylor is precisely that. As of this writing, it's available FREE for Kindle.

And now: the last little bit of the Reese/Carter fanfic. Part 1 here, part 2 here and part 3 here. This is the final installment. I think.

Harold Finch entered the office to find Mr. Reese sitting at the desk near the window, sipping from a tall, steaming cup of coffee. “Good morning, Mr. Finch. I brought you some tea.”

“Thank you, Mr. Reese.” He sat down and turned on his monitor, and Reese brought the tea to him. “I spoke with Detective Carter yesterday. When I mentioned, offhand, that she was in need of a vacation, she told me she planned to take one.” Finch looked over the top of the computer at Reese, catching his eye. “She said that in a few months, she’ll be on maternity leave.”

Reese only shrugged.

“You don’t look too surprised, Mr. Reese.”

“I’m not. About a month ago, I saw her walk into a bodega and buy a pregnancy test. I thought…it might…have had a different outcome.”

Finch raised an eyebrow.  “Were you very…invested in the outcome, Mr. Reese?”

“Not at all. If she’s happy, then I’m happy for her.”

Finch shook his head and looked down at the monitor. “For a moment, I thought I detected a note of jealousy, perhaps directed at the detective’s significant other, whoever he may be.”

“You thought I was jealous of the father? No, Mr. Finch, I don’t envy him at all.”

“Detective Carter is a strong, beautiful woman, John. No one would blame you if you had amorous feelings for her.”

“There are no amorous feelings, Mr. Finch, on either side. There may be a lot of…tension between us, but my interest in Detective Carter is strictly professional.”

“Of course it is. I didn’t mean to imply otherwise.” He opened the folder he’d left beside his desk the night before and got to work.

****

Reese didn’t care what Finch thought, what Finch knew. He had to talk to Carter. She came to meet him; they talked in her car. Reese was glad he was sitting behind her, because he didn’t think he could look her in the eye.

“John, if you’ve got something to say, then say it.”

“Finch said that you…made a decision.” He knew she was looking at him, trying to catch his eye, but he couldn’t meet her gaze.

“Look, I know we said no complications. I had an appointment at the clinic and everything. Then one night I was looking at Taylor, remembering what he was like when he was a baby, and I thought, I’m almost forty. I might never have another chance to do this.”

This felt familiar – wanting so badly to hold on to something he couldn’t possibly have.

She laughed; it sounded a little sad. “I know you didn’t ask for this, and I know I’ll be doing this alone.”

“Joss.” His eyes were wet. He hoped she couldn’t hear it in his voice. “Know this: I will do anything to keep you safe. I will die to keep you safe.”

“You mean you’ll disappear and make everyone think you’re dead again.”

“If necessary. Josselyn – no feelings, remember?”

“Easier said than done, John, especially when I’ve got all these hormones kicking in.”

He leaned in and stroked her neck with the back of his hand, a small gesture of comfort. “You know we can’t do this. Everyone close to me ends up getting hurt.”

She nodded. “I took all that into account when I made my decision. I can’t blame you. You didn’t ask for this.”

“No, but I’ll do whatever I can to protect you. I should go.” He had to go. If he stayed any longer he would do something he’d really regret, and he still couldn’t look her in the eye.

“John?” He stopped, his hand on the door handle, but didn’t turn. “You saved my life. You saved my son. Some part of me – a big part – is always going to be grateful to have a little piece of you to remember you by.”

His voice caught in his throat, and he couldn’t have said anything, even if he could think of the right thing to say. He got out of her car, and she drove off. Watching her leave hurt, but it was a familiar hurt, just the way things went. He couldn’t let anyone hurt her because of him.

****

Carter found Taylor at his desk, deeply immersed in social studies homework. She sat down on her son’s bed. “Taylor, can I talk to you for a minute?”

He closed his school book and sat beside her. “Sure, Ma. Is something wrong?”

She smiled. “No, nothing’s wrong. I wanted to let you know…you’re going to have a little brother or sister.”

Taylor nodded, but his face betrayed surprise. “You’re pregnant? So that’s why you’ve been tired all the time.”

“Yeah. You noticed that, huh?”

“I thought maybe you were depressed because of your job. You know, seeing dead people and all that. Ma, I know it’s really none of my business, but – do you have a boyfriend that I don’t know about?”

She shook her head. “It’s just you and me, Taylor.”

“Did somebody hurt you?”

“Only my heart, boo.”

Taylor let go her hand, but leaned in for a one-handed hug. “I’m sorry, Mom. So – you love this guy, but he doesn’t love you? What is he, married or something?”

She didn’t want to burden Taylor with her troubles, but it did feel nice to have somebody sympathetic to talk to. “No, he’s not married. It’s a whole lot more complicated than that. I think he does love me, in a way, but it’s very…complicated.”

“Wow. After all these years, I’m finally going to be a big brother. I’m happy for you, Mom. I might even change a few diapers.”

“Taylor, I promise you, I will do my best to let you be the big brother and not some kind of junior parent.”

“It’s OK, Mom. I don’t mind helping out.”

She kissed his forehead. “You’re the best son a mother could ask for.” She got up to leave, but stopped at the doorway. “Taylor, there’s one more thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Your little brother or sister might be kind of…light-skinned. Try not to be shocked.”

“Ma, you know I don’t care what color people are.”

Feeling a great sense of pride, Joss Carter went back to her room. She refused to cry. She would stay strong and refuse to ever think of her decision as a mistake. 

Now sit back and enjoy what Eschelle at Mumfection made yesterday - the other thing that made me a happy lil' cupcake. I'll give you a hint:



...that time I wanted to be a scarf.