Food Porn at Its Sexiest: Ramen Matzah Ball Soup

(Woodland Hills, CA - press release) March 19th, 2014 – It isn't too often that an invention so ground-breaking comes along that it changes the way we work, play, sleep, and even live. But on Woodrocket.com's web series, James Deen Loves Food, it happens almost every week. And this week, it is Ramen Matzah Ball Soup!

The show that brought you Cool Ranch Donuts, The World's Most Expensive Burrito, and 27 Layer Dip now brings together Japanese and Jewish cuisine in the incredibly delicious and innovative new episode, James Deen Loves Food: Ramen Matzah Balls.

Star of The Canyons (the 2013 Lindsay Lohan film based on the book by Bret Easton Ellis), adult cinema, and host James Deen takes the classic Passover favorite and adds an Asian twist. He makes Matzah Balls out of Ramen noodles and adds it to a Jewish/Japanese style soup. It's new! It's multicultural! It's delicious! It's food porn at its sexiest!

This hot dish episode of James Deen Loves Food: Ramen Matzah Balls is sponsored by HotMovies!

You can watch James Deen Loves Food for Free at Woodrocket.com

Or check out the Safe-for-Work Trailer at JamesDeenLovesFood.com

Dubbed by Gawker as a “leader in viral porn content,” WoodRocket.com is a mix of adult & comedic entertainment, offering thousands of free, high quality videos, including exclusive porn like Porks & Recreation, SpongeKnob SquareNuts, and Game of Bones, & original Web series like “James Deen Loves Food,” “Topless Girls Reading Books,” and “Naked in Public.”

WoodRocket.com and its content has been featured on Gawker, Gizmodo, The Hollywood Reporter, Jezebel, Esquire, Bon Appetit, Vice, Fleshbot, and more. WoodRocket even found its Game of Bones parody as a trivia question on the highly acclaimed Comedy Central game show @Midnight.

Erin's Note: From time to time I get these press releases in my e-mail inbox. I thought this one was enjoyable. I corrected the grammar and punctuation a little. 

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All In: 25 Erotic Stories by Emily Cantore. $4.99 from Smashwords.com
25 erotic short stories from the hot and bothered mind of Emily Cantore! To buy individually would cost a bundle! More than 130,000 words of first-time lesbians, threesomes, girls experimenting, sex toys and much more. Guaranteed to warm you up and get your mind racing!

An Erotic Challenge (Explicit Language)

"Pleasure in the thought of a thing’s existence, if it stimulates desire for that thing, depends upon a person’s susceptibility and the presence of the object. The pleasure is therefore sensual, a matter of feeling and not of mind."

- Translated by Raymond Blakney, and quoted in Blakney’s An Immanuel Kant Reader

So said the 18th century German philosopher Immanuel Kant, in his Kritik der praktischen Vernunft (Critique of Practical Reasoning, 1788). As a philosopher, Kant was interested in the logical underpinnings of morality. Any undergraduate Philosophy major could tell you that Kant’s philosophy was not of the Hedonistic school. Nor was Kant a stripper or a porn star.

If you are an undergraduate Philosophy major, struggling to pay your way through college, then you may well consider getting a part-time job as a stripper or porn star. If you do, and you are a woman, consider using the stage name Immanuela Kunt. Think of Kunt in the Inga Muscio sense*.

But this is not the challenge.

Rather, the challenge is to stimulate desire and provoke the sensual pleasures of the feelings in your lover with a specially prepared meal. This meal is inspired by a game played by Philosophy majors and non-Philosophy majors alike in the dining halls of undergraduate schools across the nation.

If your lover is aroused by women, then you will prepare a meal of foods that evoke the shapes and textures of the vulva and vagina. If your lover is aroused by men, then you will prepare a phallic meal. If your lover is bisexual, then the choice is yours, depending on which feelings and desires you would like to provoke.

Creativity is key. Perhaps the first food that springs to mind when considering the vaginal meal is raw oysters, with their slippery texture and bivalve shape somewhat suggestive of a woman’s parted legs. Oysters alone cannot be the whole meal, though. There must be a variety of foods, all of which suggest female genitals in some way. The leaves of a red cabbage, skillfully arranged on a plate Judy Chicago-style, bring to mind a vulva. Foods with a hole, such as doughnuts and certain breakfast cereals, resemble a vaginal opening, and so much more so if they are pink.

Barbara Walker’s The Women’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets is a treasure trove of inspiration when it comes to foods associated with the female anatomy. Some of its suggestions: eggs, the red fruits (especially apples and pomegranates) traditionally associated with the uterus and/or menstrual blood, and cherries. You may also serve fava beans. Fava is Italian slang for a woman’s genitals, according to the Encyclopedia.

Likewise, it is not enough to simply serve hot dogs or other sausages for the phallic meal. Consider carrots, bananas, cucumbers, zucchinis, and bread sticks. Be creative and diverse. Include not just penis-shaped foods, but also foods whose shape and texture suggest the scrotum and testes, such as figs and prunes. Don’t forget that milk and creamy white foods (ranch dressing, for example, or tapioca pudding) suggest semen. For dessert, consider Twinkies, for their phallic shape and cream filling.

Serve this specially prepared meal to your lover, and watch for the reaction. Pleasure? And if so, is it pleasure of the mind, or of the senses?

Author's Note: I originally wrote this post for a website called "The Erotic Challenge" or something similar, long defunct. Later, it was published in the online magazine Lucrezia, which sadly is also now defunct. - Erin O'Riordan

* Inga Muscio, Cunt: A Declaration of Independence, 1998

The Red Carnation Hotel Collection Introduces Beatrice Tollman's Memoir 'A Life in Food'

DELRAY BEACH, FL, Feb. 25, 2014 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) -- The Red Carnation Hotel Collection is proud to introduce A Life in Food, Beatrice Tollman's memoir, travelogue and recipe book. President and founder of The Red Carnation Hotel Collection, Tollman was also awarded as European Hotelier of the Year 2012, European Hospitality Awards.

The book is a celebration of life and travel, filled with recipes from the heart, many of which have been passed down through the family or discovered during far-flung adventures. Bea Tollman's kitchen expertise and experiences as a traveler, mother, and hotelier are showcased in a fascinating collection of personal reminiscences and favorite recipes.

The book also tells the story of how The Red Carnation Hotel Collection was established, and reveals the inspiration for some of the most popular dishes enjoyed at each of its hotels around the world. Many of the signature dishes, which guests come back for time and again, are those which Bea Tollman has collected, refined, and perfected - and that she personally teaches to each chef in every property.

These dishes include hearty traditional favorites such as Chicken Noodle Soup with Mini Chicken Pies, Shrimp Stroganoff, Lemon Chicken, and Pasta Primavera. Favorite dessert recipes featured include Bea's Rice Pudding, as well as the perennially popular Bea's Cheesecake, a Triple-Baked Delight with Creme Fraiche Topping, Strawberry Syrup and Fresh Strawberries. Each dish is presented with a fascinating story of how the recipe came into being.

Creative Commons image by user A R

It is thanks to Bea Tollman's passion and belief in unparalleled levels of service that makes The Red Carnation Hotel Collection one of the most renowned hotel companies in the world. "My driving passion is to make every stay memorable for every single guest, to offer great value for money, and to make them feel truly welcomed and special. I believe having this at the heart of everything we do is what has led to the success of the company," she says.

A Life in Food is available for sale at each of the Red Carnation Hotels, retailing at $39, as well as on www.amazon.co.uk. Note that the cost of the book is subject to monetary fluctuations. In the United States, all proceeds go to the Safe Harbor Sanctuary and Animal Hospital. In South Africa, all proceeds are donated to The Amy Biehl Foundation. In the UK, all proceeds go to the Starlight Children's Foundation and The Tick Tock Club (Great Ormond Street Hospital
Children's Charity).

About The Red Carnation Hotel Collection

The Red Carnation Hotel Collection is an award-winning collection of five- and four-star family-run boutique hotels in London, Dorset, Guernsey, Geneva, Palm Beach, South Africa and Ireland. Each property has its own individual character and unique location that reflects the local environment, culture, and cuisine. They all share the qualities that win Red Carnation so many prestigious awards - splendid luxury, generous hospitality, inventive and traditional cuisine, private art collections, passionate service, and loyal staff committed to creating richly rewarding experiences for all their guests.

Creative Commons image by user Rick Kimpel

For more information about The Red Carnation Hotel Collection, please call toll free from the USA/Canada at 1.877.955.1515 or from Europe, Australia and New Zealand at + 800.1698.8740. Visit us at www.redcarnationhotels.com or email book@rchmail.com.

About The TreadRight Foundation

The Red Carnation Hotel Collection is part of a joint initiative with The TreadRight Foundation, a not-for-profit foundation established by The Travel Corporation to encourage sustainable tourism within our own family of brands and in the places we visit. To date, TreadRight has donated more than US $2 million to sustainable tourism projects around the world. To find out more about our work with TreadRight, visit:
www.TreadRight.org.

www.betterworldbooks.com

www.lulu.com

Social Media, Writing, and Editing Services I Offer - Erin O'Riordan

Italian cuisine a la Piero Rivolta

When Piero Rivolta, entrepreneur and novelist—his latest novel is Journey Beyond 2012 (New Chapter Publisher, due out May 1^st) — relocated to the United States from Milan, Italy, he sailed his boat, filled with cases of good Italian wine, across the Atlantic Ocean. By the time he arrived in Miami, he had only two cases left.

Along the way, he also learned to cook for himself out of necessity. In Italy his family had a cook, and his wife Rachele would make special dishes with his help.

When Rachele went back to Italy from time to time, Piero started to cook for himself again. “I decided, if I wanted to eat what I like – simple and tasty, and with fresh ingredients – I’d have to do it myself,” he says.

He didn’t read cookbooks, just experimented with what was in the cupboards. When he invited friends over to share his meals, they were impressed and encouraged him to continue his “experiments.” So did his wife when she returned from Italy and tasted his dishes. Since then he has been cooking in the evenings to relax and enjoy himself.

Here are two of his favorite recipes:

Risotto with Radicchio

In a large pot

·         chop an onion

·         sauté in light olive oil

·         add salt

·         add chopped radicchio leaves

·         put in the rice – use Arborio (or a similar risotto rice)and stir for 30 seconds

·         add white wine to cover the rice (about half an inch)

·         keep stirring until the wine gets absorbed, but keep the rice moist

·         add broth (if you don’t have it ready, use beef or chicken bouillon with water) and keep stirring

·         after 20 minutes or so, test the rice – it should be “al dente,” not cooked to the point of becoming mushy)

·         switch off heat, put a lid on the pan, and let sit for 2 minutes

·         add a big dab of butter and a good portion of grated parmesan cheese (if you want it softer, add a tablespoon of yogurt or sour cream) and stir together

Serve with parmigiano reggiano sprinkled on top.

Although risotto goes very well with dry white wine, this radicchio recipe can be served a red wine, especially in cold weather. Try a Nebiolo or if you want a stronger taste, a Barolo.

Megan Mallan, Creative Commons license

Shrimp à la Piero

 It’s best to use unshelled shrimp – ideally prawns – but they’re easier to eat if they are first shelled; in which case, put the shells in a small pan, add a bit of water and cook them while you do the rest. Keep the broth to add to the sauce.

·         take a big skillet

·         put in a lot of chopped garlic

·         use extra virgin olive oil

·         heat with strong flame until the garlic becomes lightly brown

·         add chopped chili peppers and chopped Roma tomatoes

·         cook for about 5 minutes and mash the tomatoes in the pan

·         add shrimp

·         add some broth from the cooked shells

·         cook for another 5 minutes

·         add a glass of bourbon (Jack Daniels) – you can flambé it if you want

·         add some cherry tomatoes cut in half

·         cook for another minute or so to blend the flavors

serve with a good Italian white wine.

Glen McLarty, Creative Commons license

Look for Erin O'Riordan's review of Journey Beyond 2012, coming soon!

Top 3 Delicious DIY Foods for Halloween

Today, April 24th, is St. Mark's Eve. St. Mark's Eve is one of three traditional "Spirit Nights," along with All Hallows Eve (Halloween) and St. John's Eve (Midsummer Eve). The spirit nights are all associated with divination - the veil between the seen and unseen worlds is at its thinnest. In that spirit, I present this early Halloween guest post.

Now, without further adieu, your guest blog post by Katherine Cao:

Each time when Halloween approaches, kids will be too impatient to wait. They will put on colorful costumes and fantastic masks. They carry Jack O' Lantern and ask gifts from adults. Here, some unique DIY foods for this festival are collected. Designers are concentrated on their appearance and also taste. To delight your kids, why not try a DIY food? It will undoubtedly enhance the atmosphere of the festival :D!

Top 1: Grimace Biscuit

Required materials: one egg, granulated sugar (40g) and some starch.

Step 1: break the egg into a certain container.

Step 2: add a few starches. Then, pour granulated sugar into the container three times. Blend them.

Step 3: a pastry tube is needed here. Squeeze out above mixed item onto the baking paper via the pastry tube. Since the food is designed for Halloween, you need to squeeze the mixed item to be round and ghost-shaped. How large should the biscuit be? Of course, this depends on you.

Step 4: preheat the oven to be 100 degree and bake the biscuit for 70 to 80 minutes. Actually speaking, you won’t bake the biscuit, but dry them by hot wind.

Step 5: after baking, draw ghost or any other evil on each biscuit by chocolate. Certainly, you can also draw various patterns lover by your kids. Moms, just explore your mind.

PS: biscuit after being drawn with ghost should be stocked in a refrigerator because it easily absorbs moisture. Aside from this, it may become soft and sticky when the temperature rises. At last, kids are not recommended to eat too many these biscuits because they have too much sugar.

Top 2: Pumpkin Porridge

Required materials: shrimp meat, green pea, two eggs, two pumpkins, salt, starch, soup stock, pepper powder and sesame oil.

Step 1: wash the shrimp meat and wipe it. Add two spoons of egg white, salt and starch. Pickle it for about 10 minutes.

Step 2: cut off the top of the pumpkin and use the cut part as the cover later. Draw out all seeds and cover it via a plastic wrap. Put them into the microwave over and heat them for 4 minutes.

Step 3: three bowls of soup stock will be needed. Boil them and put in green pea. After boiling, put in shrimp meat and boil them.

Step 4: break the egg into the soul and add starch. Then, salt, pepper powder, chicken powder and sesame oil need to be put in too.

Step 5: scoop out the boiled item and load them into the pumpkin.

PS: while heating the pumpkin, be careful about the temperature in the microwave oven. If you are not sure about this, heat it gradually please.

Top 3: Witch Finger Biscuit

Required materials: unsalted butter (220g), berry sugar, one egg, almond extract, vanilla extract, flour, baking powder, salt and almond (it’s used to make the nail. There should be one almond for each finger. It’s okay to use skinless almond or almond tablets.

Step 1: the unsalted butter should be softened under room temperature. After softening, add sugar, egg, almond extract and vanilla extract. Use a stand mixer to blend them.

Step 2: mix flour, salt and baking powder. Then, pour them into the butter. Since the machine is in service, you can adjust the speed to be low. Sure, you can do this by hands too. Just mix the flour with butter. But you will need to knead the dough arduously.

Step 3: take out the mixed item from the container and load them into taker-bag. A paste forms then. Put it into the refrigerator for over 30 minutes. In this case, the paste will become hard and form.

Step 4: take out the paste from the refrigerator. Get the almond ready and find a small spoon.

Step 5: scoop a small spoon of paste and twist it to be a long strip, which should be as long as a finger. You are suggested to make the strip slimmer than a finger since it will become larger while being baked.

Step 6: get an almond and embed it into the finger. So, the nail is finished.

Step 7: pinch the nail slightly. It’s better to use a knife or spoon to make some “ruffles” on the nail.

Step 8: when all nails are completed, put them into the ovenware with baking paper.

Step 9: preheat the microwave oven to be 165 degree. And bake the biscuit in it for about 20 to 25 minutes.

To scare your friends by a biscuit with a ghost face on it and then invite them to enjoy your DIY food is absolutely a good idea. Do you also like it? Katherine shares you many other food or costume ideas on her site. Pay her a visit now?

I Made a Recipe From '100 Perfect Pairings'

I won it in a blog contest: 100 Perfect Pairings: Main Dishes to Enjoy with Wines You Love by Jill Silverman Hough, published by Wiley. I forget which blog I won it from - I haven't even been able to find a link to it by scrolling through my last month's Twitter feed. Since I can't repay the favor to the blogger I won it from, I'll pay it forward instead:

Leave a comment for your chance to win a copy of 100 Perfect Pairings. I'll randomly choose a name on Sunday, June 12. (Make sure your e-mail address is accessible through your profile, or leave it in the comment.)

You can't have my copy, though. I'll send you your own.

The recipe I made today was curried pumpkin and potato stew. You can either make this stew vegan, or you can add chicken broth. I used chicken stock because I was out of veggie broth. The recipe also called for pumpkin...

...red potatoes...

...coconut milk (I used what my local organic market had, a concentrated coconut product)...

...and raisins. Boghosian raisins are the best ones I've ever tasted. I get the big bag from Gordon Food Service (a restaurant supply store also open to the public).

(This is not a complete list.)

The finished product looked like this, sprinkled with shaved coconut:

The verdict? It's absolutely delicious. I like the thick, rich texture of the coconut milk and canned pumpkin as a base for this stew. The suggested amount of curry was just right. The recipe also calls for cinnamon and cayenne pepper, but I didn't have cayenne, so I substituted some ground red chilies my friend Betty grew. Mmm, perfect.

As for the wine pairing...well, I didn't have any gewurztraminer on hand, either. I ate this flavorful stew with diet ginger ale, and that was a perfect pairing, too.