The Aladdin XXX Live-action Musical Parody Is Here

THE ALADDIN XXX LIVE-ACTION MUSICAL PARODY IS HERE.

AND IT'S CALLED ALADDICK.

PRESS RELEASE: (Woodland Hills, CA) May 23rd, 2019 – Drop your harem pants and start rubbing your lamp because the most magical musical porn parody of all time is here! Aladdick is the live-action, hardcore, song-singing, blue genie-filled porn parody of Aladdin, and it was created by WoodRocket and Pornhub, the horny folks behind Hamiltoe and Game of Bones 2.

Aladdick premieres Thursday, May 23rd on WoodRocket and Pornhub for Free.

The extra-long Aladdick Extended Version, featuring more sex with a porn parodied Princess, is available exclusively on Pornhub Premium.

When Princess Jizzman goes looking for a prince to satisfy her royal genitals, she comes across Aladdick over and over again. With the help of his Vagenie and flying carpet, he disguises himself as Prince All D. But will evil Jafuck, screw him over? Find out in Aladdick.

Aladdick stars April O'Neil, Donnie Rock, Daisy Ducati, Tommy Pistol, AJ, Nikki Sequoia, and Will Tile as Vagenie. It was written and directed by Lee Roy Myers.

Check out Aladdick for free at WoodRocket and Pornhub (on the WoodRocket Channel).

Watch the SFW trailer of Aladdick on WoodRocket and YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsRNjgg-A3Y.

Check out Aladdick Extended Version at PornhubPremium.com.

WoodRocket mixes porn, comedy, pop culture, and redefines adult entertainment. Creating popular and high-quality content like Ask A Porn Star, Porn Stars Reading Hate Mail, and porn parodies like Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles, Strokémon, and Laygo, WoodRocket is the future of porn.  WoodRocket’s content has been featured in Buzzfeed, Uproxx, Gizmodo, Maxim, Complex, AV Club, Spin, Rolling Stone, The Howard Stern Show, GQ, Vice, Esquire, The Hollywood Reporter, @Midnight, Bon Appetit, and many, many more wonderful places.

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'Barracoon' by Zora Neale Hurston #AmericanHistory

Barracoon: The Story of the Last "Black Cargo" by Zora Neale Hurston

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I listened to this short audiobook; it's about a 4-hour listen. This is nonfiction, so be prepared for the very tragic details of the life of Cudjo Lewis. His village was raided by the Dahomey people, his parents were killed, and he was captured to be sold by the Portuguese into slavery. All of those things would be terrible enough for one lifetime, but Cudjo continued to encounter myriad tragedies after the Union soldiers came and told him he wasn't a slave anymore. Very sad.

Cudjo Lewis was a real survivor, though. He hung in there long enough to tell his tale to the brilliant Zora Neale Hurston, a pioneer of recording authentic African-American folklore. Her recording of Lewis's tale is believed to be historically accurate to a high degree, and she also relates it in a literary style that makes it incredibly compelling. But - still very tragic.

By Unknown - This image is available from the United States Library of Congress's Prints and Photographs division under the digital ID cph.3b10040. This tag does not indicate the copyright status of the attached work. A normal copyright tag is still required. See Commons:Licensing for more information. Public Domain 

If you are an African-American who's descended from enslaved Africans, you may have to consider whether you really want to hear the gruesome details. This is not a lighthearted or easy read. Definitely all white Americans should read or listen to this book, because we should have our eyes fulled opened about what our ancestors caused.

An appendix to this book is a collection of Cudjo's fictional folk tales, which I highly recommend for anyone who's interested in folklore.

I checked this book out from my local library using the Libby app and I was not obligated in any way to review it.

All the Wrong Questions #4: Why Is This Night Different From All Other Nights?

Why Is This Night Different from All Other Nights? by Lemony Snicket

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I'm glad I read this series but also sad to see it end. I thoroughly enjoyed it but was saddened when one of my favorite (relatively minor) characters died. I hope Lemony Snicket, a.k.a. Daniel Handler, returns to middle grade writing again some day.

Favorite quote from this book: “Villainy can win against one library, but not against an organization of readers.”

I purchased this book with my own funds from my local brick-and-mortar Barnes and Noble and I was not obligated in any way to review it.

Charlaine Harris's Stand-Alone Mystery 'A Secret Rage'

A Secret Rage by Charlaine Harris

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Hello, I'm not dead. I did kind of forget that I had a book blog, though! But I have been reading. Here's a brief review of the novel I finished today.

This mystery in which the perpetrator of the murder is also guilty of a number of sexual assaults has characters who express some very problematic ideas about sexual assault in general. Even a generally skillful writer, as I believe Charlaine Harris is, must tread carefully around these issues, and this stand-alone mystery left something of a bad taste in my mouth.

Perhaps I was a bit biased because I'm a Northerner and the Southern-born-and-raised character refers to her New Yorker neighbors as sounding like a bunch of squawking bluejays. (We have bluejays in the North, Charlaine - I know exactly what that sounds like.)

I also felt the writing was a bit more unpolished and clunky than I'm used to in such favorite series as the Southern Vampire Mysteries and Midnight, Texas.

I purchased this book with my own funds from Red Dog Books and was not obligated in any way to review it.

'The Magician' by Carla Cook #ParanormalRomance

The Magician by Carla Cook

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This is an older PNR that I found at a used bookshop, and it was surprisingly good. I liked the characters and the way the author took her time with the romance and didn't force the characters into an unrealisticly quick head-over-heels.

I deducted one star because I had issues with the pacing and structure in the second half of the book. The "all is lost" moment hits, the big bad is revealed, and then the resolution seems to come too suddenly and too easily, without the characters having to stake too much to regain equilibrium.

Then, after the big bad is put down permanently and they're safe, the story has one of those J.R. Ward-type "oh no, it's hopeless, they'll never be together" feints when we all know perfectly well, with only 3-5 pages left, that the happily-ever-after is right around the corner. J.R. Ward often does it well, but in this novel, it fell a little flat for me.

But if you happen across this one at your used bookstore, do give it a read. It has a very likable heroine, she has an adorable kiddo, and there are some really interesting paranormal plot elements.

I purchased this book with my own funds and was not obligated in any way to review it.

Because I Can Never Resist New J.K. Rowling...

Fantastic Beasts the Crimes of Grindelwald: The Original Screenplay by J.K. Rowling

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I didn't like this screenplay/movie as much as the first one, because a) Queenie is acting out-of-character stupid in service of the plot :( and b) no real!Percival Graves, who had such great chemistry with Credence in the first one. (This is no knock against Claudia Kim, whom I think did a nice job in the Nagini role she was given. I actually liked her relationship with Credence and I hope she gets a bigger role in the next one.)

The first movie shouldn't have had more homoerotic subtext than the second one given that this screenplay includes scenes with young Dumbledore and young Grindelwald together. I know same-gender romances are frowned upon in some non-U.S., non-U.K. film markets, but if J.K. Rowling let that economic consideration stop her from exploring the Dumbledore-Grindelwald relationship, she shouldn't really have told us that Dumbledore is a gay character. Commit to your characters' background stories or leave them out.

Also, there are continuity issues with what we already know from the Harry Potter books and Pottermore addenda. Minerva McGonagall shouldn't be at Hogwarts yet in 1927, should she? I read somewhere that she shouldn't even have been born yet according to a previously plotted timeline. So I don't love that.

But it does have some nice touches nonetheless, such as the blood troth and the baby Nifflers. Jacob is still his wonderful Jacob self even if Queenie is sacrificed to bad writing, and Newt and Tina still have their adorably awkward spark. "Salamander eyes" is my new favorite compliment.

I purchased this book from my local brick-and-mortar Barnes and Noble and was not obligated in any way to review it.

The Inside Story of the Darkest Batman #Nonfiction

Christian Bale: The Inside Story of the Darkest Batman by Harrison Cheung

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Harrison Cheung, a Canadian who loves movies, was Christian Bale's unpaid personal assistant for many years. He does not have a very high opinion of Mr. Bale, whom he characterizes as incredibly self-centered. Disdainful of publicity to an extreme, Bale didn't even attend Heath Ledger's funeral because he didn't want to face the public, even though Bale and Ledger had become friends. (Some people get along with Christian Bale. Heath Ledger was one, and Russell Crowe is another.)

This book is full of short, interesting tidbits, but it also contains some strange errors and omissions. When mentioning Christian's interest in playing Mercutio in the Baz Luhrmann 'Romeo + Juliet' film of the '90s, Cheung and co-author Nicola Pittam mention that Bale lost the role to "an African-American." What an odd, vague way to describe Harold Perrineau, the actor who not only steals the movie with his impassioned portrayal of Romeo's volatile friend but is also well-known to American audiences through the TV shows 'Lost' and, now, 'Claws.' Do the authors really not know who Harold Perrineau is?

Another section refers to Colin Farrell as a British actor. Colin. Farrell. Is. Irish. Irish people are NOT British, and since Cheung lived with a British family (Christian, Louise, and David Bale - brother, sister, and father) for years, shouldn't he know this?

Cheung also has a low opinion of Winona Ryder, a former friend of Bale, his co-star in 'Little Women,' and the one who introduced Bale to his wife, Sandra (Sibi) Blazic. He describes the petite star as foul-mouthed and rude.

The whole narration has to be taken with a small grain of salt because Cheung obviously has a bone to pick with the Bale clan. They owe him thousands of dollars, if he genuinely never received a paycheck for working as Bale's personal and social media assistant from the earliest days of the Internet. Maybe he's exaggerating, or maybe he has cherry-picked the incidents that paint Christian Bale and his semi-con-artist father in the worst possible light. I don't know. It was still an interesting, relatively quick read.

I purchased this book at Barnes and Noble with my own funds as was not obligated in any way to review it.

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