You! Yes, you! The one
writing stories with paranormal hotties!
Or trying to.
The problem is, most of
the paranormal hotties of choice are kind of, well, dead.
Vampires, zombies,
ghosts…all (technically) dead.
This presents a problem,
as most people aren’t attracted to the dead. As a writer of zombie
fiction, I find that I have trouble making my lead female’s
interest in my lead male (the zombie) not icky. He may be undead, but
he’s still technically dead, and grossing people out does not help
you sell a romance.
However, after careful
observation I noticed a pattern. And this pattern works. I would like
to share with you all today how to make your undead boys dead sexy.
- Make them less dead.
As
covered earlier, most people find the dead kind of gross. It might be
the decaying internal organs, the blank lifeless eyes or the ashen,
sunken skin, but most people do not want to read about someone
falling in love with the dead.
Solution?
Make your undead boy more “un” than “dead”.
Pale
skin is still a must, but describe the skin tone as “moonlight
pale” versus “ashen” or “deathly pale”. Defined cheekbones
are nice, but not sunken cheeks and really pointy chins. Even ‘drawn’
sounds like someone grabbed the back of your undead boy’s face and
just pulled.
Stay
away from describing internal processes unless it is absolutely
necessary. Especially if you are writing a zombie.
Describing
the eyes as “bright” or “sparkling” will negate any uncanny
valley effect the reader might experience when imagining your lovely
dead boy.
- Dark hair.
He has
to have dark hair.
If you
look closely at most leading dead men, they all have dark hair.
“Oh,
but Kelsey, I don’t want to play by the rules.” Okay, fine.
That’s cool. But look closely at the world of the paranormal and
you’ll see that the leading men all have dark hair, and the bad
guys are blond.
Look
at the one that started the mainstream craze, love it or loathe it-
Twilight. Edward has dark hair. Some of the bad guys have dark hair.
But all the blond dudes do something evil or douchey.
Look
at James from the first movie, or that blond guy Cauis from the
Volturi, or Riley Biers, who lies to a bunch of newborn vampires.
Even the Cullen’s themselves don’t do too well when it comes to
blonds. Carlisle, the
patriarch of the family, turns Edward into a vampire, a life that
Edward frequently describes as monstrous. Jasper attempts to munch on
Bella’s tasty blood.
You
can find this trope in other media featuring the undead- I’m just
pointing out an accessible example. But hopefully the point is seen,
because I’m in the loathe category in regards to Twilight, and I
hope to never discuss it again.
- A little slight
Your
hotty should not be too big.
…Okay,
some things can be big. But not his body type.
This
one makes sense on a practical level as well as the sex appeal- the
undead can’t or can barely eat. They’re not going to be huge,
unless I’m really underestimating the fat content of blood and
brains.
Werewolves
can be gigantic beefcakes, but vampires, zombies…no. A little
dead/decaying flesh is okay, but too much would start to smell. The
slight figure gives off the impression of vulnerability, which adds
depth to the sexy, sexy exterior.
This
is not to say they can’t be well muscled. But the muscles should be
more swimmer or gymnast rather than linebacker.
“Oh
Kelsey, you’re so shallow, you forgot personalities.” Nice try,
writer, but I’m not telling you how to characterize your undead
cream puff. While their actions should have a hint of badassery to
them (for stories sake, as well as sexiness), the characters
personality should be up to the writer and what they think is
appropriate for the story, or even the kind of personality they find
themselves attracted to. As nice as it is to have a nice body to
complete the package, your undead boy’s personality is what will
make the readers fall in love with them.
At least them if a reader isn’t
attracted to the way you describe him (and you’ve made him blond,
don’t say I didn’t warn you) then at least he has a great
personality.
Join Kelsey Mills starting June 28th for her serial zombie fiction, The Zombvenger! Visit http://dawnoftheundead.wordpress.com/ to read the first installment.
Kelsey's blog: https://kelseyjaymills.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/KelseyJMills
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