Diary Of A Beverly Hills Matchmaker, by Marla Martenson (Bettie Youngs Books, April 2010) - guest post
Beverly Hills: just the name conjures up a town chock full of aspiring actresses, wannabees, gold diggers, poseurs and opportunists on the hunt for Daddy Warbucks, and dreaming that their fabulous fannies will be seated in nothing less than a Rolls Royce, Lamborghini, or Ferrari. Then there are the Goldman Sachs size male egos on the hunt for a bevy of beauties, but only if they look like Heidi Klum or, as the author calls them in the book she's penned Diary of a Beverly Hills Matchmaker, a size 0 waif who literally looks like "tits on a stick." The groups, you might contend, deserve each other.
It's no wonder that these types of introduction services are cropping up faster than hair plugs at the Men’s Club. So is everyone looking for the perfect 10? Well, pretty much yes, says the author. Since men are visual their main concern is that the women are in great shape and beautiful, with personality and intelligence coming in second and third on their list, and women are looking for security and an easy, breezy, lifestyle, which translates to, “I would like a man who makes at least a million a year” and on occasion Martenson would receive demands such as, “I will only date a man who has a private jet; I just refuse to fly commercial!”
Says the author, "The American dream is “to have it all,” “hold out for the best” and “don’t settle.” After all, it’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man, right? But just how long are singles willing to wait for the perfect specimen with whom to hook? It’s fine and dandy when a woman is in her twenties and looking like a million bucks, but when she has reached the forty mark and higher, things start to crinkle and sag, eggs dry up and dreams are dashed. The competition is the new arrivals with taut young bodies and stars in their eyes and the over forty male is often considered “distinguished” rather than the over forty woman who is just considered “old.”
No wonder online dating and matchmaking services are no longer taboo. One is not considered “desperate” to reach out for some help in finding love. But with that convenience and technology comes the expectation of “putting in an order” for the perfect mate. Martenson writes about the mentality of many male clients and the attitude, “I’ve paid you thousands of dollars to match me, so find me exactly what I want even if that means specific hair color, eye color, height, weight, and nipple preference. Yes, nipple preference. Martenson tells a story of a member who broke up with a woman because her areolas were “too big.”
Another concern of her male clients is the size of their match’s derriere. Here is an email to Martenson after a first date:
Dear Marla, I really found Sandy to be attractive, fun, intelligent, and cultured. We had a great time. The only thing is, I am wondering if she has a big butt. She was wearing one of those puffy dresses. She says that she does all kinds of activities like dance classes, working out at the gym, and hiking, but I just can’t be sure how big her butt is. Is there any way you can let me know if it’s big or if the dress she was wearing just gave that illusion?
And did Martenson find her fairy tale ending with her perfect ten, or did she settle for second best in a heartless city in the knowledge that her clock had all but stopped ticking? A hopeless romantic, she is certain that it was kismet meeting the woman late one Friday night at a Rite Aid store on Sunset Blvd. who would introduce her to her husband a month later.
Ten years ago, Marla Martenson never dreamed that she would launch into a new career as a Beverly Hills Matchmaker, working tirelessly to find her financially upscale male clients the perfect ten to walk down the aisle with. But when a friend of her husband’s offered her a job at a video dating service, the course of her life was changed for good. After a year and a half at the dating service, she accepted a position at an exclusive Beverly Hills introduction agency as the head matchmaker.
After years toiling in the trenches unearthing the most exquisite gems to match to her well-heeled gentlemen, Martenson felt moved to write her third book, a memoir, Diary Of A Beverly Hills Matchmaker. For a woman who had given up on finding her soul mate and accepted her fate of remaining single, living in a studio apartment in Hollywood with her dog, having an open heart and mind has proven to be golden.