Another perk of working in the marketing department of a corporation: free glossy magazines that come in with the advertising crew. Yesterday I picked up a copy of Four Two Nine with Alan Cumming on the cover. Cumming - the bisexual Scottish actor who played Mr. Elton to Gwyneth Paltrow's Emma Woodhouse in the 1996 adaptation of Jane Austen's Emma, among many other roles - has recently had his memoir, Not My Father's Son, published.
The GLBTQ magazine also features some lovely poetry by Tom Capelonga, including a poem called "Altar Boy." The Catholic altar boy in question here is Capelonga himself as a young man, He writes:
"No surface in this church
reflects me back at myself,
the clever little gay boy
in ill-fitting cassock
"Mysterium tremendum
before the congregation
ringing bells to accompany
wincing refrains of
"sensitive and
not-like-most-boys.
"Whittled to two dimensions
I lay bricks around my heart
to temple the faceless presence
missing from the gospel.
"Madonna in her brown slip
dances on the altar
"when you call my name
it's like a lit-tle prayer
"beside monuments
to what's available:
Achilles, Patroclus
Saint Sebastian
and James Dean,
depending on whom you ask.
"What joy, to profane
This ungentle shrine
from the right hand of the father,
to find comfort in transgression
that I might someday dance
laurel-crowned
at funerals for what
they thought
I'd become."
That's a powerful statement. The speaker grew up in a religion that sought to deny and destroy him, but he found a path to survival and self-expression anyway, and he subversively found ways to celebrate the gayness that was an unquenchable part of his own experience even in a repressive environment. I feel like this poem deserves a hug and a "go, boy."
Another good news is I now have almost two hours every weekday to listen to audio books in the car. I hope my local library has a good selection of smutty romances on CD. That's what I'm really in the mood for, and it's unfortunate that smutty fanfics do not come in audio book format.
One that I particularly like right now is "Imagine Dean Praying Dirty Things to Castiel." Yes, let's imagine that, shall we? The writer's handle is "deansvagina." The fic is tagged as "plotless," which means it's just porn. The writer writes, "This is the first gay smut I've ever written so sorry if it sucks. It's quite short too. -Oli," (I'm thinking "Oli" is short for "Olivia" or something similar and that the writer is a woman, but I don't really know.)
Well, it's a little bit of a diamond in the rough, but it doesn't suck. Some of its yummier bits include:
* One time, when Dean was having sex with a woman, he called out Castiel's name by mistake - but Cas was ignoring him that day and didn't hear it.
* Dean is watching guy/guy porn and imagining himself with Cas.
* "He couldn't help himself-the too close touches, the almost kisses, longing glances. He wanted the angel so bad."
* This time, while Dean is watching porn and touching himself, Cas can hear quite clearly that Dean would much rather being doing lovely things to the angel than to himself.
* Cas shows up just in time to watch Dean finish. They kiss. Cas is aggressive, shoving Dean against the wall. But Dean would really rather be the one in charge, so he shoves Cas back toward the couch and gets on top of him.
* Soon they're naked, or as the writer puts it, "free of clothes and skin to skin." It's really hot. Dean has his mouth on Cas and his fingers...exploring...places. He wants Castiel to talk to him and tell him how good it feels, but Cas is only communicating in noises. So Dean backs off a little bit and makes the angel beg.
* Then, the angel buttsex. So hot. I've been imagining Cas on top, but Dean on top is very, very good, too.
*Afterward, a little bit of cuddling on the couch - but not on the same couch that now has a rather noticeable angel cum stain on it.
My next dilemma will be figuring out what to use my Destiel decal on.
I ordered this from frostovision on Etsy.
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